Quotes Page - The New Era


Lora: fake boobs just walked in the library. she is very perky. Alex: would fake boobs WALK into a place, or bounce into a place? Lora: strut i think. boom bada boom bada boom. (and sometime later...) Alex: fake dick just walked into work. followed by his friend, real asshole. Sean: are they into one another? Alex: sort of in an out. very cyclical
posted by: sean	Nov 06 2001, 04:20pm


while watching a commercial for a ridiculous, painted silver dollar - cost: significantly more than a dollar TV: And if you call now you can get this American Flag pin with a quarter molded in. Alex: mockingly hey, what did you pay for your quarter? Billy: answering mockery I got it free with my 40 dollar dollar!
posted by: alex	Nov 05 2001, 10:55pm


Narfa5 (2:46:57 PM): stupid physics lab Narfa5 (2:47:07 PM): it hates me and i hate it more JenRHock (2:57:05 PM): i hate you too. Narfa5 (2:57:38 PM): i think you and physics lab would get along well JenRHock (2:58:46 PM): we should have babies. Narfa5 (2:59:03 PM): mmm...little vectors Narfa5 (2:59:42 PM): you could throw them off cliffs and they'd tell you what their velocity was at the time of impact JenRHock (3:00:05 PM): you'd be a wonderful mother.
posted by: jen	Oct 03 2001, 03:04pm


the conversation (after closing the window 3 times already) (16:47:58) peachesNcreamez: really no joke whats your real name (16:48:18) smcgheek: hey. im trying to get some work done here. would you mind not bothering me? (16:48:56) peachesNcreamez: do you know katie (16:49:22) smcgheek: go do some algebra homework (16:49:30) peachesNcreamez: no (16:49:35) peachesNcreamez: dont have any (16:49:38) smcgheek: sorry, then do some phonics. (16:49:46) peachesNcreamez: dont do that (16:50:06) smcgheek: seriously, im at work. im glad youre home from school. the user info Username : peachesNcreamez Member Since : Sun Jul 8 16:53:14 2001 Warning Level : 0 % Online Since : Thu Sep 20 15:34:24 2001 Idle Minutes : 11 Hi to yall. I love Justin. you are my honey. i love you! :-*:-Pi miss you so much! shoutouts to: -everyone from the nationals pageant! we kicked ass out there girls! liz,kate,maria,justin,jen,jill,alyssa,britt,kiley,paige, ellen, and anyone else i forgot. === sorry if i forgot you. all of you mean a lot to me!!!!!- of course that was all bull! i love jagged edges new song "where the party at" and 112's " Peaches n Cream" steve- do you have raceing sperm? lol ellen- we need to get together and show steve and chris what its all about! lol brenna- you me and gym class! lol
posted by: stevem	Sep 20 2001, 05:11pm


Sean: you can't plant every seed Piper: Oh, Dude...Now you tell me Piper: all that waisted seed Sean: and pumpkin/human hybrids......that's a no go too Piper: you been fucking pumpkins?! Piper: --silence--- Sean: the pumpkin lies! Sean: i never touched that pumpkin.
posted by: sean	Aug 20 2001, 10:06pm


lora: I played with it until it discharged.
posted by: alex	Aug 20 2001, 08:12am


stevem: I could carve rock with my nipples right now.
posted by: alex	Aug 16 2001, 08:27am


alexatitp: that is really weird SMcGheek: yuppers alexatitp: yuppers? SMcGheek: yup alexatitp: steve, is that you? SMcGheek: ya SMcGheek: i dont know what came over me. im sorry. SMcGheek: [shame] alexatitp: [embarrasment] SMcGheek: [vengance] alexatitp: [fear] SMcGheek: [rage] alexatitp: [dirty underpants] SMcGheek: [slaughter] alexatitp: [death?] SMcGheek: [guilt] SMcGheek: [denial] alexatitp: [haunting] SMcGheek: [acceptance] alexatitp: [appearance at own funeral] SMcGheek: [bewilderment] alexatitp: [ascention] SMcGheek: [praise] alexatitp: [judgement] SMcGheek: [damnation] alexatitp: [satisfaction] SMcGheek: [rage] SMcGheek: [again] SMcGheek: [st alex] alexatitp: again saint alex? or against alex SMcGheek: as in rage against the machine. st alex maybe too. creepy. alexatitp: i hope we haven\|-t just sealed our fates SMcGheek: god listens to aim conversations. alexatitp: can god see me masturbate? SMcGheek: only if you do it on aim alexatitp: uh oh SMcGheek: sinner.
posted by: stevem	Aug 13 2001, 10:48am


(the night continues...see previous quote) Samantha (fairly intoxicated): I give good head. (everyone starts laughing) Samantha: I do. Jermaine: What?! No you don't. You give shitty head. (laughter grows) Samantha: Not on humans. Duh. Animals. They're much easier. With their little weewees. Joe (laughing uncontrollably): Stop stop! I can't handle anymore. No more animal sex!
posted by: sean	Aug 06 2001, 12:07am


(while walking in a group down the streets of the local college town) Samantha (approaching random guy): Hey, how're you doing? Random Guy: Real good. Samantha: What would it take to get you on all fours? Random Guy: Um, a lot. Samantha: That's too bad. You're not the goat I'm looking for. Bahhhhh! Bye.
posted by: sean	Aug 05 2001, 11:56pm


Lora: but where is the extra money coming from in order to get this tax cut Lopaka: the tax cut is retro from last year Sean: the extra money is from a government surplus Steve: bake sales Sean: cheney was sweating over the oven for hours with those brownies Lora: that's my dick Steve: whoa
posted by: sean	Aug 02 2001, 04:03pm


tobin: you win some, you lose some, and some you just don't tell people about.
posted by: alex	Jul 31 2001, 11:38am


during a peaceful 'pizza and beer' outing Tobin: I haven't seen crack like that since I was gay.
posted by: sean	Jul 26 2001, 12:32pm


the thingies on your front page look like pooping crescents ;) -me
posted by: Albert	Jul 23 2001, 12:41am


While she was working at the KFC drivethru Tessa(my sister):Can I get you anything else this evening? Guy at Drivethru:Nope, and that\|-ll be to go please.
posted by: max	Jul 13 2001, 01:33am


tobin: Columbia House is sending me "What Women Want". The only thing I know about that movie is that "I don't want it".
posted by: alex	Jul 06 2001, 01:28pm


Quotes from my family. "Don't trip over dead chickens"-- (is that like 'don't cry over spilt milk'?) -As I was taking out the trash, my father came home and this was the first thing he said to me, its hard to explain why. "You big jew!" -My 11 year old sister suddenly yelled this as I denied her a cookie. She claims she meant to say, 'you big doofus'. Sure... "I don't like eating cole slaw in the dark" -Another odd quote from my youngest sister, said during a bout of misguided energy conservation.
posted by: max	Jun 14 2001, 08:50pm


rehren: i\|-ll install it after work. rehren: i have the cd in my pocket SMcGheek: hah. ok. SMcGheek: just walkin around with software on you, eh? rehren: always
posted by: stevem	Jun 01 2001, 09:07am


rehren: handy down parts suck. SMcGheek: its hand-me down. rehren: oh. [later] stevem@redigital:[~] % e "randall said you said you'd go if we went" \| al Message from bushwacker@redigital.org on ttyp1 at 15:22 ... randall also said 'handy downs' EOF
posted by: stevem	May 31 2001, 03:26pm


randall: hey lopaka, do you know who [female name] is? lopaka: nope, i don't think so. randall: oh... well, she used to be a man.
posted by: alex	May 31 2001, 12:45pm


rehren: k. ftp only access he has. SMcGheek: thanks yoda.
posted by: stevem	May 29 2001, 01:32pm


Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work looks around blankly Tobin: ... oops. goes about his business
posted by: alex	May 18 2001, 01:30pm


Dawn, in AIM: "argh! all i want is freaking jungle love by steve miller band! is that too much to ask?" (and later...) "ooh, found steve meisner band: jammin! polkas." (even later...) "oh yeah, this polka is jammin! "
posted by: jen	May 14 2001, 03:58pm


"You're lucky, here at the university we have the foremost researcher on Genital Warts, Dr.Cox." - Completely serious 'Human Sexuality' professor.
posted by: sean	May 09 2001, 02:11pm


"All those gods you made up in your head are figments of your imagination!" - Yelled by a man outside of a concert (Tori Amos, no less) carrying a sign that read "TRUST JESUS OR BURN IN HELL"
posted by: sean	May 09 2001, 01:52pm


"It doesn't really matter to me, just as long as it's tight on my ass." - some college girl in a laundromat, referring to god knows what
posted by: sean	May 09 2001, 01:49pm


"I mean, who is this guy? And why is he watching me get naked?" - A comment from a friend, taken slightly out of context
posted by: sean	May 09 2001, 01:48pm


"You don't know where Denny's is? You call yourself men?" - Drunken skanky hos in front of an AM/PM in Riverside, CA (this was said to me and a group of my friends. there is no better way to describe the group of 'women' that said this. trust me)
posted by: sean	May 09 2001, 01:42pm


billy: How many "s"es are in "Rodman"?
posted by: alex	May 05 2001, 08:39pm


(As we view Wes from the car behind, he takes the opportunity to meticulously adjust his leather jacket while at a stop light on his motorcycle) Sean (in flighty Wes voice): Oh my, does this jacket make my ass look big?
posted by: sean	Apr 29 2001, 06:44pm


(as Wes stretches after getting off his motorcycle) Wes: Argh...I'm saddle sore from fucking horses.
posted by: sean	Apr 29 2001, 06:41pm


alex: does anyone here claim to know eudora well? steve hock: i could claim it, but then i'd be a liar as well as a eudora expert.
posted by: alex	Apr 26 2001, 04:20pm


bored at work, singing garth brooks alex: "troubles I forgot 'em, I buried 'em in the sand. So bring me two pina coladas..." pause alex: line? tobin: "heeeeey macarena!"
posted by: alex	Apr 26 2001, 10:52am


alex: We need an office skateboard here like we had at IC. tobin: Dude, this is the Institute for Theoretical Physics... we need an office hoverboard!
posted by: alex	Apr 10 2001, 10:29am


bored at work, alex sings the mickey mouse club song hoping for backup from sean alex: M I C... sean: r o p h o n e? alex: K E Y... sean: m a s t e r? alex: M O U S E! sean: e r c i s e!
posted by: alex	Apr 09 2001, 12:49pm


while on a work-out kick alex: I'm going to go get the weights out of the shed in back. stevem: Why, is it getting too heavy?
posted by: alex	Apr 07 2001, 12:28pm


sean:... then a snail spoke to me in latin. then i wet myself. then the story ended. did the snail speak to you too alex: he's speaking to me right now. he says you were a good lay. tobin: wow, he really puts the "go" in escargot!
posted by: alex	Apr 06 2001, 02:26pm


ive got 4 or 5 girls that want to play. the only stipulation is that they are to be referred to as my harem. - steve
posted by: randall	Apr 05 2001, 01:08pm


while playing super mario brothers 3 alex: a ba-bomb! grabs ba-bomb. let's go, ba-bomb! alex dies holding a ba-bomb billy: you ba-blew it! all: painful groan billy: oooo ba-billy...
posted by: alex	Mar 18 2001, 02:47pm


(theorizing on why Sean had a strange hallucination the morning before) JennH: You must have eaten something bad. Sean: i figured that i was either hallucinating or i had become a very powerful warlock in my sleep JennH: Like week old milk or something. Sean: no dairy products either, although i had fast food for dinner i think JennH: That could probably do it. JennH: Maybe it's madcow disease in your hamburgers Sean: it was chicken. you beef eaters can have your crazy cows JennH: laughs Sean: i'd rather have my hallucinogenic chicken, thank you very much
posted by: sean	Mar 08 2001, 01:53am


sean: we're good. alex: TOO good. sean: if we were any gooder, we'd have to beat the women off with a stick. and i don't mean 'that' stick.
posted by: alex	Mar 07 2001, 12:13am


alex: some like it hot but some sweat when the heat is on. tobin: some like it cold but some shiver when their pants are gone.
posted by: alex	Mar 01 2001, 09:34pm


(also from the little yellow sheet at Jen's b'day.) (Tobin's seemed inable to come up with something funny for the sheet. So someone wrote a theory about why that was the case..) Tobin's got writer's cock. childish, yes, but it's even funnier because someone thought this phrase important enough to write it on the same sheet twice.
posted by: sean	Mar 01 2001, 06:46pm


(from the little yellow sheet at Jen's b'day.) (in regards to Gabe's much maligned major) So, if a geography major gets lost, does he get kicked out of the major? -sean No, they just give him a rock hammer and call it close enough. -anon
posted by: sean	Mar 01 2001, 04:04pm


(After a commercial for K-Y Jelly.) Jen: K-Y Jelly, for when you just don\|-t do it for her. Alex: But still want her to do it for you.
posted by: jen	Mar 01 2001, 01:12pm


(on the movie "Art of War" Jen: Half man, half vampire, Wesley Snipes is Vampire 57!
posted by: alex	Feb 28 2001, 09:50am


sean: I'm not into exactities. or real words either
posted by: alex	Feb 28 2001, 09:49am


alex: I just laughed at myself. sean: Oh the glory of mirrors. pause alex: Mirrors? ... jerk!
posted by: alex	Feb 28 2001, 09:48am


sean: something should happen tonight alex: your words reach deep and question the very fabric of our frustrating miniature human existance sean: you coulda said poo alex: and now i wish i had sean: but you didn't and poo still came out
posted by: sean	Feb 28 2001, 02:46am


(after an advertisement on tv for some new medicine) alex: I hate when depression medicine gets in the way of my sex. sean: i hate when sex gets in the way of my depression
posted by: sean	Feb 28 2001, 02:45am