Quotes Page - The New Era


(while walking thru an outdoor shopping center) Popcorn Vendor (calling out): Free samples, if you'd like to taste! Tessa: Did he just say "Free samples, for Christ's sake." ? Max: I don't think so. Sean:: But that'd be a unique way to sell popcorn. Invoking the name of Jesus Christ.
posted by: sean	Dec 27 2002, 11:51pm


Alex: Hey Billy, can I take a peek at your iron monkey?
posted by: sean	Dec 18 2002, 11:22am


(while reaching for some brie at a holiday party, his arm precariously close to being burned) Alex: uh oh. I don't think I should be cutting the cheese over these candles.
posted by: sean	Dec 18 2002, 10:46am


tessardiva: i'm typing with wet nails wittymusketeer: use your toes tessardiva: im doing ok thank you tessardiva: its a challenge wittymusketeer: landing on the moon is a challenge, typing with wet fingernails is a byproduct of the commercialization of beauty wittymusketeer: i've been watching to much daria
posted by: Tessa	Nov 22 2002, 08:05pm


"My turtle ran away!" - a very sad story from the mouth of a distraught college student.
posted by: Tessa	Nov 12 2002, 12:07am


Narfa5 (10:38:03 AM): there's a river running in the grass outside my backdoor JenRHock (10:38:31 AM): they might have to sandbag your porch. they do that some years there. Narfa5 (10:41:33 AM): darn 1st floor apartment JenRHock (10:41:50 AM): a river runs through it. Narfa5 (10:42:38 AM): unless Brad Pitt is in that river, i don't want it in my apartment.
posted by: jen	Nov 08 2002, 10:51am


"Atheist? So that's better than Catholic right?" -said to me by my roomate.
posted by: Tessa	Nov 01 2002, 11:50pm


Lora: Hell Yeah! Free Porn
posted by: Billy	Oct 31 2002, 08:37am


(most of us had recently seen the new movie 'The Ring') lopaka: ...7 days... sean: cleaning a broom closet takes...7 days jen: dissolving a body in acid takes...7 days lopaka: 1 week is ... 7 days jen: 7 hours at work feels like...7 days sean: the common cold can last...for 7 days jen: lopaka, what really happens in 7 days? sean: lopaka has not had a bowel movement..in 7 days jen: TMI alert!
posted by: sean	Oct 29 2002, 08:21pm


steve: I wanna be Superman for Christmas.
posted by: alex	Oct 17 2002, 01:16pm


Billy: What are you doing? Lora: nothing...the Koreans are here
posted by: Billy	Oct 09 2002, 09:42am


stephenmhock: what would have happened if MC Hammer had really liked water? Auto response from Narfa5: shower time.
posted by: Stephen Hock	Sep 23 2002, 10:33am


Billy: What kind of a world is it when a man will get arrested for backhanding a woman, but a woman will not get arrested for flicking a man in the balls.
posted by: Lora	Sep 11 2002, 11:30pm


jess: i'm enjoying this slurpee on a whole new level that slurpees shouldn't be enjoyed on!
posted by: alex	Aug 27 2002, 10:46pm


on her day at work: Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.
posted by: alex	Aug 23 2002, 04:04pm


sean: yup. hockey is on alex: yea, hockey is where it's at sean: hockey is da place alex: hockey in ya face sean: hockey - it's a pants thing alex: hockey - not just for cows anymore sean: hockey - 4 out of 5 dentists agree, it's greeeeaaat! alex: it would take 10 games of monopoly to equal the amount of hotels you can build in just one game of hockey! alex: women have one period a month, hockey has three in a night! sean: we've replaced alex's golf with hockey, let's see if he notices the difference.. sean: when your wife leaves you, your truck breaks down, and your dog dies, turn to hockey. country music will only depress you alex: do sports really have the ability to hurt, mame, and kill you? sports do. -hockey sean: H E Double Hockey Sticks. Hockey, the choice of sport for the underworld alex: hockey: play it, you pussy sean: hockey: if you're not bleeding and bruised, you're not playing it right alex: hockey: teeth optional sean: this isn't your mom's hockey alex: hockey: it's like soccer, but fun. sean: hockey: it's like sex, but with more padding and a mouthguard. and slightly less penetration alex: on the road of life there is opera, and there is hockey. opera sucks sean: i came here to chew bubblegum and play hockey. and i'm all outta bubblegum alex: if you like to crush the competition, work in a team, go for the gold, and play to win: join the rowing team. if you like to fight: play hockey sean: chickens have no lips, worms have no arms, and football players have no necks. stop thinking about body parts and pick up your god damned hockey stick already sean: hockey: i ain't wearin' this cup because it's fashionable alex: hockey: big gloves, big skates, big sticks... you figure it out alex: in the game of life you can be anything you want to be. but wouldn't you just rather play hockey? sean: hockey: when we're not making lists, we're kicking your asses
posted by: alex	Aug 20 2002, 11:27am


alexatitp: laser tag bazooka? DEM0NH00D: hehe, that's just nuts alexatitp: laser tag nerve gas alexatitp: laser tag demoralizing propoganda... DEM0NH00D: laser tag barbed wire DEM0NH00D: laser tag suicide pill alexatitp: laser tag wartime brothel DEM0NH00D: laser tag VD alexatitp: laser tag pine box / battleship sea burial kit DEM0NH00D: laser tag insignia wrapped over coffin alexatitp: laser tag powered automobiles DEM0NH00D: laser tag gatorade flavor alexatitp: laser tag news night with laser winning anchor, laser tag johnson DEM0NH00D: laser tag: invisible beams of pleasure. starring Jenna Jameson
posted by: alex	Aug 12 2002, 09:00am


Driving downtown in the morning. Two leaves are stuck between the car hood and the windshield. They flap in the wind. Alex: See the little leaves. They dance in the breeze, like children. Jen: That was beautiful. Alex: I HATE THEM! I WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY AND DIE!
posted by: jen	Jul 31 2002, 12:36pm


(while discussing what font to use on ICQ) Jessica: verdana? looks like Arial. everything looks like Arial. Arial is like the chicken of fonts.
posted by: sean	Jul 30 2002, 01:31am


Steve H. : Sgt. Dickerheimer just picked Matt up. Jen: Tell me that's not really his name. Steve: Nah, its Hollinger or something. But I liked Dickenheimer better. Jen: It's a good one.
posted by: jen	Jul 29 2002, 11:03am


(around lunchtime, in two different locations) alex: man i'm so hungry sean: so hungry you're hungy eh. i should make me a samich alex: then feed it to me sean: my cable modem does not support the food protocol alex: stupid cox. alex: i ate a pizza over dsl the other day alex: it was digilicious
posted by: sean	Jul 16 2002, 11:35am


DEM0NH00D: pretty cheap averybridgette: whats cheap averybridgette: your prostitute? DEM0NH00D: yeah DEM0NH00D: she fell apart DEM0NH00D: i was disappointed DEM0NH00D: couldn't even get my money back averybridgette: at least you have the sheep DEM0NH00D: i mean, that was bus fare averybridgette: and your handcuffs DEM0NH00D: the sheep will never leave me DEM0NH00D: because i have the handcuffs :-)
posted by: avery	Jul 07 2002, 05:33pm


sean: snatch, always a pleasure
posted by: alex	Jul 01 2002, 08:09pm


sean: you're a very helpful man. hell, i was just talking to my doctor the other day, and i told him how helpful you were in removing my spleen with a spork, a dirty rock, and a pair of tongs. alex: you didn't tell him my name, did you? sean: no, i sorta passed out. alex: exxxxcellent.
posted by: alex	Jun 10 2002, 10:09am


(while in Chilis, talking to an off duty waiter named Gregg. Gregg, btw, is the one that sings Happy Birthday opera style.) Avery: Oh yeah, so you like the lakers? Gregg: Yeah. (sometime later) (lakers score a basket) Avery: Woooooh. Show us your tits! (Gregg shakes his head, looks around as if to say "this girl is crazy")
posted by: sean	Jun 05 2002, 10:54pm


Paka: What?? I'm not drunk enough to drive!
posted by: sean	Jun 05 2002, 10:32pm


sean: oh yea, look at my massive 2 inches...
posted by: alex	Jun 04 2002, 09:43am


SMcGheek: nah. you see that thing about greenland? rehren: no, what is it? SMcGheek: slashdot.org rehren: iceland you mean? SMcGheek: ya SMcGheek: same thing ;-) rehren: it is? SMcGheek: no SMcGheek: joking
posted by: stevem	May 30 2002, 03:29pm


While discussing a Catholic mass Dawn had recently attended... Narfa5 (1:57:39 PM): and i probably would have really gone off when i drank the wine Narfa5 (1:57:47 PM): they were using the communal cup too Narfa5 (1:57:50 PM): which is icky JenRHock (1:58:01 PM): no, no no! they wipe it with the Napkin of Our Lord. Narfa5 (1:58:12 PM): oh yeah, what was i thinking? Narfa5 (1:58:25 PM): god will kill the germies! Narfa5 (1:58:30 PM): but wait, he can't do that, can he? JenRHock (1:58:34 PM): The Lord's Napkin is made antibacterial by the Grace of Our Lord Jesus.
posted by: jen	May 28 2002, 02:02pm


while discussing stupid coworkers alex: how's work for you? are you getting dumber by being there? jen: i'm so dumb now, I could be a professor. i'm so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system... �� i am that dumb.
posted by: alex	May 23 2002, 02:59pm


feeding jen a useful car fact for future conversations alex:ok, try this: the new SVT Mustang Cobra does zero to sixty in 4.5 seconds and pulls .9 Gs on the skidpad. Those are impressive numbers for 35 thousand dollars.... now you say it. jen: the new VCM Cobra does zero to sixty in 42 seconds and pulls 6.9 Gs on the skidpad. all that for 30 grand? impressive.
posted by: alex	May 20 2002, 10:52am


alexatitp (10:45:31 AM): lolly gaggling and tom foolery are sure paths to raddness ruination stealthjeffer (10:46:11 AM): i don't know about you, but i wouldn't mind gagging lolly.
posted by: alex	May 20 2002, 10:47am


tobin: i found a cuban in my mom's underwear drawer once.
posted by: sean	Mar 21 2002, 10:31pm


alex: dude, i was hitting that beer bong like a 4 year old!
posted by: sean	Mar 21 2002, 09:04pm


lora: hey, is there any place we can put tobin's huge package?!
posted by: sean	Mar 21 2002, 09:01pm


(while watching a seinfeld outtake) alex: if i had to be an ugly old man, i'd want to be jerry stiller. tobin: if i had to be an ugly old man... i'd want to be your mom.
posted by: alex	Mar 08 2002, 10:20am


echo conversation: tobin: I'll go grab one. alex: grab something else for me, would ya? MY NUTS tobin: where'd you leave 'em? I couldn't find 'em in their regular place.... MY CHIN
posted by: alex	Mar 05 2002, 12:29pm


(alex, while writing a paper for class) i feel a surge of genius coming or is that urine? whoops. it was urine
posted by: sean	Mar 04 2002, 12:12am


Deter7: hey steve, where's your favorite place to have sex? Auto response from SMcGheek: in class.. Deter7: heheheh
posted by: stevem	Mar 01 2002, 03:06pm


jen: shotgun, bang! what's up with sean's thang? alex: i wanna know? where does he sit? jen: wait up, hold up, mr. driver! like Chewbacca, he's a sexy navigator!
posted by: alex	Feb 20 2002, 04:14pm


SMcGheek: randall is one big nerd: http://www.isber.ucsb.edu/~randall/l400/ SMcGheek: he got that computer today. JenRHock: randalls such a big nerd, even I wanna beat him up and take his lunch money. SMcGheek: well put SMcGheek: i might have to quote you on that JenRHock: thats fine. that nerd compiled his own custom kernel. JenRHock: he should be warned the beating is coming. ;-) SMcGheek: but somehow cant seem to make a link to show it off. lame nerd. JenRHock: his nerdness has no staying power.
posted by: stevem	Jan 04 2002, 01:21pm