Sarah: Mmm, this is the best my fingers have ever tasted.
Tagged: food RSS
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Posted by: Sean
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(while at a fancy dinner)
Sarah: Oh my god! It just shit a banana!
Posted by: Sean -
(inside local restaurant – lunchtime)
Christine (sniffing): Hey, it smells like bacon in here.
Shasta (sniffing): Hmm, It does smell like bacon.
*Shasta spots a uniformed police officer grabbing a soda a few feet away.*
Christine: Yeah, totally smells like bacon.
Shasta (quietly): Shhhhhh.
Christine: What? Why?
Shasta (quietly): Shhhhhh. I’ll explain in a minute.
*The cop leaves*Posted by: Sean -
(While playing Texas Hold-em poker)
{Max turns over a 4 on the flop}
Steve Y.: Damnit! That’s the meat in my pancakes.
Everyone: You eat meat in your pancakes?Posted by: Sean -
sean: two things I hate – Hitler and yogurt!
Posted by: Lopaka -
Steve: I’m drowning in worcestershire sauce!
Jen: Delicious death.
Steve: Delicious like a foxburger!Posted by: Jen -
(at dinner on a cruise ship)
Shasta: This kahlua cake doesn’t taste much like kahlua.
Sean: I thought you said koala cake. That doesn’t seem tasty.
Shasta: Aww. Poor koalas.
Billy: Man, koalas will mess you up!Posted by: Sean -
lamont: Taco Bell has no bell
demonhood: mcdonalds is not irish
demonhood: or scottish even
lamont: Pizza Hut is run by humans not Hutts
demonhood: there is no royalty at burger king
lamont: Jack in the Box and Carl’s Junior are both utterly perverse names
demonhood: wendy’s doesn’t even serve wendy burgers anymore
lamont: And In and Out is no longer what “a hamburger is all about” They’re changing the name to “In and then snuggle a bit”
demonhood: subway lives above ground
lamont: Marie Calendar’s doesn’t know what month it is
demonhood: sizzler boils everything
lamont: Dairy Queen isn’t actually run by lactose intolerant gay men.
demonhood: panda express food is comprised entirely of pandas that weren’t fast enough to get away
lamont: Del Taco is not truly “Of the Taco”
demonhood: olive garden salts the earth after they’ve gotten their produce
lamont: Little Cesaer’s is all that remains of the Roman empire.
demonhood: dominoes builds too closely to tall unstable neighboring establishments
lamont: Don Jose isn’t really a Don
demonhood: Red Robin’s carpet doesn’t match the drapes
lamont: Black Angus is white.
demonhood: outback steakhouse uses indoor plumbing
lamont: Chili’s doesn’t use real baby backs.
lamont: Long John Silvers wears boxers.
demonhood: foster’s freeze serves warm food too
lamont: White Castle is more of a fort.
demonhood: the owner of Chevy’s prefers Fords
lamont: Dunkin’ Donuts can only do layups
demonhood: Krispy Kremes was actually started by a man named Krispy.Posted by: Sean -
(while walking thru an outdoor shopping center)
Popcorn Vendor (calling out): Free samples, if you’d like to taste!
Tessa: Did he just say “Free samples, for Christ’s sake.” ?
Max: I don’t think so.
Sean:: But that’d be a unique way to sell popcorn. Invoking the name of Jesus Christ.Posted by: Sean -
(while reaching for some brie at a holiday party, his arm precariously close to being burned)
Alex: uh oh. I don’t think I should be cutting the cheese over these candles.
Posted by: Sean -
ean: you can’t plant every seed
Piper: Oh, Dude…Now you tell me
Piper: all that waisted seed
Sean: and pumpkin/human hybrids……that’s a no go too
Piper: you been fucking pumpkins?!
Piper: –silence—
Sean: the pumpkin lies!
Sean: i never touched that pumpkin.Posted by: Sean -
Tobin: Mmm, dick bread.
Posted by: Anonymous -
Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!
Posted by: Alex -
Alex: Teriyaki makes me messy.
Sean: I thought everything made you messy.
(and later…)
Alex: If I would think for about two seconds, I might not be on the quotes page so often…quit giggling!Posted by: Jen -
Alex: Do you like HANDY SNACKS? Perhaps you’re a fan… of big ass ham. Big ass ham!
Posted by: Jen -
Ado: Doo doo doo, Monkey Brains, Monkey Brains…. Never has anything looked so gross but tasted soooo good.
Posted by: Alex -
Sean (to Wes): Can you have one meal where you don’t have mayonnaise on your face?
Posted by: Jen -
Christy: “I really wish there was meat in donuts. I really want a slab of meat and I don’t know why.”
Posted by: Lambert -
How did I get chocolate there?
[smells pant leg] …..
Is that chocolate?
-Anonymous Office StafferPosted by: Sean -
Matt D. – How does this program flow?
Debbie – Like butter baby.Posted by: Christy -
“Coleslaw is God’s way of saying, hey, add some sugar to that cabbage.” -Lopaka
Posted by: Christy -
SCs: “We need motivation.”
Andy: (with his mouth full) “Hey, I’m eatin’ here.”Posted by: Anonymous
