Quotes Page » sex

It’s My New IceBreaker

Sean — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:19:02 +0000

(Tyler enters the bar, covered in a layer of sweat from dancing for hours at a club)

Christine: Tyler, you’re really sweaty.
Tyler: Christine, you DON’T want to have sex with me. My wife has to hold up dish towels to my face when we do it because I sweat so much.
*shocked pause*
Tyler (gesturing): Hey Sean, come listen to what I just told Christine!

Sordid Sorting Hat

Sean — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 19:36:31 +0000

(the mocking sean hour continues)

jen: do you wear the sorting hat when you go online to harry potter sex chatrooms?
sean: how do you think i get all the witches?
jen: i really don’t want to think about that
“I sort you into the house that dances around a little and takes off your clothes, and I sort you two into the house that gets a little drunk and makes out with each other at parties, and I sort you to the house that sits on my lap and laughs hilariously at everything I say. Accio condoms!”

Beats Lectures

Stevem — Fri, 01 Mar 2002 23:06:26 +0000

Deter7: hey steve, where’s your favorite place to have sex?

Auto response from SMcGheek: in class..

Deter7: heheheh

Both at Once?

Sean — Wed, 28 Feb 2001 10:45:35 +0000

(after an advertisement on tv for some new medicine)

alex: I hate when depression medicine gets in the way of my sex.
sean: i hate when sex gets in the way of my depression

It’s All in the Marketing

Tobin — Sun, 16 Apr 2000 04:15:42 +0000

Tobin: Of all the things that are hard to sell, I don’t think sex is one of them
Jen: I’ve had some difficulty….

Not Even Oral

Jen — Tue, 02 Nov 1999 07:33:41 +0000

Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.

It was All Consensual

Jen — Wed, 10 Feb 1999 00:54:07 +0000

Mika: It’s not like when my mom and dad had sex and my dad hacked off my mom’s arm.
Steve: Goodnight!