Quotes Page » workplace

Not Bathroom Prepared

Stephenh — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 00:10:01 +0000

A woman at work: “I don’t wear a helmet to go to the bathroom.”

Awesome Scavenger Hunt

Sean — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 21:24:54 +0000

{when asked what she was doing wandering the halls}

Ellie: they were all on the phone. and i was bored. so i stole a giraffe.

Taking it for the Team

Jen — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 21:40:27 +0000

Jen: I am the You of this campus right now.
Sean: An enviable position to be sure.
Jen: It’s okay, but I can’t get used to all this bending over.
Sean: You get used to it eventually. I mean…hey!

‘For Use on Penis’

Sean — Mon, 08 Nov 2004 18:08:36 +0000

(the phone rings)
Sean: Hello, this is Sean.
Vanessa: Hi Sean. Um, do you have a key to the president’s office?
Sean: Yeah, why?
Vanessa: Can you come down here and unlock it? I have to put stickers on condoms.
Sean: Uh, ok then.

At Least you Frolick

Alex — Sat, 24 Aug 2002 00:04:05 +0000

on her day at work:
Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.

Surely Not That Dumb

Alex — Thu, 23 May 2002 22:59:03 +0000

while discussing stupid coworkers
alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there?
jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system… i am that dumb.

Work Smerk

Alex — Fri, 18 May 2001 21:30:35 +0000

Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work

*looks around blankly*
Tobin: … oops.
*goes about his business*

Tobin’s Digest

Alex — Thu, 27 Jan 2000 06:36:36 +0000

Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!

Lab Player

Lambert — Wed, 12 Jan 2000 23:33:27 +0000

Naseem: I’m the most action this lab has ever seen.

Ooh, Hard to Get

Alex — Mon, 10 Jan 2000 19:39:33 +0000

Alex: I hear female voices
Wes: I like females!!!!
Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes*

Multimedia Strippers?

Alex — Sun, 19 Dec 1999 17:46:30 +0000

Alex: Hey Tobin, anything you need in the NMC?
Tobin: Hmmm…. not really, maybe a stripper and some beer, but I’d settle for someone to come in and use the damn lab and ask questions.

They’ll Fling Poop

Alex — Sun, 05 Dec 1999 19:51:01 +0000

Christine: Our children will be like little monkeys. We’ll name them after ic staff. Ya know, like Seannifer. Or maybe Stevilly.

Leaving?

Jen — Sat, 06 Nov 1999 03:32:50 +0000

Sean: You know, when you get bored in the server room, there’s only two alternatives.
Randall: What’s the other one?

Not Even Oral

Jen — Tue, 02 Nov 1999 07:33:41 +0000

Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.

Boss Games

Alex — Sun, 24 Oct 1999 02:56:48 +0000

Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone.
Sean: (pretending to call consultant)

“I’m outside your window!

I know you’re there!

Is that your girlfriend?

SHE’S PRETTY!”

I Even Brought in Clothes

Alex — Wed, 13 Oct 1999 06:58:30 +0000

Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home?
Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home.

Suck All Around

Jen — Tue, 23 Feb 1999 06:52:39 +0000

Jennifer: So, you’ve spent an entire day trying to make something work, and it still sucks.
Mike: That’s my job.

War Games

Christy — Sat, 16 Jan 1999 16:17:44 +0000

Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.

Effective Leadership

Christy — Fri, 18 Dec 1998 22:45:44 +0000

Wes: Says who? I make the rules.

Computer Comfort

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Nov 1998 04:25:09 +0000

Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.