Lord Piñata

sean: i’m eating easter candy. does that make me a bad jew?
jen: you can’t eat the candy if you’ve killed our Lord.
jen: unless, while he was being crucified, he was stuck with a spear and candy fell out
sean: oooh. our lord the piñata. the holy grail was actually a candy bowl!
jen: i can’t decide if that was the most sacreligious thing i’ve ever thought. it certainly felt like it.
sean: it’s pretty hilariously sacrilegious. i think the flames of hell are lapping at your heals a little bit more after that one
jen: now i’m picturing mary magdalene wailing on the ground, gathering up hard candy in her headscarf.
sean: she loved caramel almost as much as she loved that rascal jesus. in a platonic sort of way, of course.
jen: who even knows with jesus. they probably played sex games where he covered her in Magic Shell then commanded her to RISE FROM THE DEAD! ”
sean: deliciously naughty. they just etched your name into your seat in hell
jen: this being, of course, where the tradition of hollow easter chocolate comes from.
sean: ah. i wish they would have kept it the naked lady instead of the bunny
jen: it’s a metaphor.
sean: screw the metaphor, i want lady chocolate!
jen: you’d screw that too.
sean: it’d fall apart. and that just wouldn’t do.
sean: jesus was all about the loose women and empty calories.

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