Updates from December, 2002 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Sean 11:51 pm on December 27, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    (while walking thru an outdoor shopping center)

    Popcorn Vendor (calling out): Free samples, if you’d like to taste!
    Tessa: Did he just say “Free samples, for Christ’s sake.” ?
    Max: I don’t think so.
    Sean:: But that’d be a unique way to sell popcorn. Invoking the name of Jesus Christ.

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  • Sean 11:22 am on December 18, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: spy   

    Alex: Hey Billy, can I take a peek at your iron monkey?

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  • Sean 10:46 am on December 18, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: farts,   

    (while reaching for some brie at a holiday party, his arm precariously close to being burned)

    Alex: uh oh. I don’t think I should be cutting the cheese over these candles.

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  • Tessa 8:05 pm on November 22, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: commercialization, pop culture   

    tessardiva: i’m typing with wet nails
    wittymusketeer: use your toes
    tessardiva: im doing ok thank you
    tessardiva: its a challenge
    wittymusketeer: landing on the moon is a challenge, typing with wet fingernails is a byproduct of the commercialization of beauty
    wittymusketeer: i’ve been watching to much daria

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  • Tessa 12:07 pm on November 12, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: escaped pets   

    “My turtle ran away!” – a very sad story from the mouth of a distraught college student.

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  • Jen 10:51 am on November 8, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    Dawn: there’s a river running in the grass outside my backdoor

    Jen: they might have to sandbag your porch. they do that some years there.

    Dawn: darn 1st floor apartment

    Jen: a river runs through it.

    Dawn: unless Brad Pitt is in that river, i don’t want it in my apartment.

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  • Tessa 11:50 pm on November 1, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ranking,   

    “Atheist? So that’s better than Catholic right?” -said to me by my roomate.

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  • Billy 8:37 am on October 31, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , thrifty   

    Lora: Hell Yeah! Free Porn

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  • Sean 8:21 pm on October 29, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    (most of us had recently seen the new movie ‘The Ring’)

    lopaka: …7 days…
    sean: cleaning a broom closet takes…7 days
    jen: dissolving a body in acid takes…7 days
    lopaka: 1 week is … 7 days
    jen: 7 hours at work feels like…7 days
    sean: the common cold can last…for 7 days
    jen: lopaka, what really happens in 7 days?
    sean: lopaka has not had a bowel movement..in 7 days
    jen: TMI alert!

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  • Alex 1:16 pm on October 17, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , superman   

    steve: I wanna be Superman for Christmas.

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  • Billy 9:42 am on October 9, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: nothing   

    Billy: What are you doing?

    Lora: nothing…the Koreans are here

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  • Stephenh 10:33 am on September 23, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , shower   

    stephenmhock: what would have happened if MC Hammer had really liked water?
    Auto response from Narfa5: shower time.

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  • Lora 11:30 pm on September 11, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Billy: What kind of a world is it when a man will get arrested for backhanding a woman, but a woman will not get arrested for flicking a man in the balls.

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  • Alex 10:46 pm on August 27, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: slurpee   

    jess: i’m enjoying this slurpee on a whole new level that slurpees shouldn’t be enjoyed on!

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  • Alex 4:04 pm on August 23, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: retards,   

    on her day at work:
    Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.

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  • Alex 11:27 am on August 20, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: hockey,   

    sean: yup. hockey is on
    alex: yea, hockey is where it’s at
    sean: hockey is da place
    alex: hockey in ya face
    sean: hockey – it’s a pants thing
    alex: hockey – not just for cows anymore
    sean: hockey – 4 out of 5 dentists agree, it’s greeeeaaat!
    alex: it would take 10 games of monopoly to equal the amount of hotels you can build in just one game of hockey!
    alex: women have one period a month, hockey has three in a night!
    sean: we’ve replaced alex’s golf with hockey, let’s see if he notices the difference..
    sean: when your wife leaves you, your truck breaks down, and your dog dies, turn to hockey. country music will only depress you
    alex: do sports really have the ability to hurt, mame, and kill you? sports do. -hockey
    sean: H E Double Hockey Sticks. Hockey, the choice of sport for the underworld
    alex: hockey: play it, you pussy
    sean: hockey: if you’re not bleeding and bruised, you’re not playing it right
    alex: hockey: teeth optional
    sean: this isn’t your mom’s hockey
    alex: hockey: it’s like soccer, but fun.
    sean: hockey: it’s like sex, but with more padding and a mouthguard. and slightly less penetration
    alex: on the road of life there is opera, and there is hockey. opera sucks
    sean: i came here to chew bubblegum and play hockey. and i’m all outta bubblegum
    alex: if you like to crush the competition, work in a team, go for the gold, and play to win: join the rowing team. if you like to fight: play hockey
    sean: chickens have no lips, worms have no arms, and football players have no necks. stop thinking about body parts and pick up your god damned hockey stick already
    sean: hockey: i ain’t wearin’ this cup because it’s fashionable
    alex: hockey: big gloves, big skates, big sticks… you figure it out
    alex: in the game of life you can be anything you want to be. but wouldn’t you just rather play hockey?
    sean: hockey: when we’re not making lists, we’re kicking your asses

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  • Alex 9:00 am on August 12, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , lasers   

    alexatitp: laser tag bazooka?
    DEM0NH00D: hehe, that’s just nuts
    alexatitp: laser tag nerve gas
    alexatitp: laser tag demoralizing propoganda…
    DEM0NH00D: laser tag barbed wire
    DEM0NH00D: laser tag suicide pill
    alexatitp: laser tag wartime brothel
    DEM0NH00D: laser tag VD
    alexatitp: laser tag pine box / battleship sea burial kit
    DEM0NH00D: laser tag insignia wrapped over coffin
    alexatitp: laser tag powered automobiles
    DEM0NH00D: laser tag gatorade flavor
    alexatitp: laser tag news night with laser winning anchor, laser tag johnson
    DEM0NH00D: laser tag: invisible beams of pleasure. starring Jenna Jameson

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  • Jen 12:36 pm on July 31, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: crazy, poetry   

    Driving downtown in the morning. Two leaves are stuck between the car hood and the windshield. They flap in the wind.

    Alex: See the little leaves. They dance in the breeze, like children.

    Jen: That was beautiful.

    Alex: I HATE THEM! I WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY AND DIE!

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  • Sean 1:31 am on July 30, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: fonts   

    (while discussing what font to use on ICQ)

    Jessica: verdana? looks like Arial. everything looks like Arial. Arial is like the chicken of fonts.

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  • Jen 11:03 am on July 29, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    Steve H. : Sgt. Dickerheimer just picked Matt up.
    Jen: Tell me that’s not really his name.
    Steve: Nah, its Hollinger or something. But I liked Dickenheimer better.
    Jen: It’s a good one.

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  • Sean 11:35 am on July 16, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    (around lunchtime, in two different locations)

    alex: man i’m so hungry
    sean: so hungry you’re hungy eh. i should make me a samich
    alex: then feed it to me
    sean: my cable modem does not support the food protocol
    alex: stupid cox.
    alex: i ate a pizza over dsl the other day
    alex: it was digilicious

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  • Anonymous 5:33 pm on July 7, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    DEM0NH00D: pretty cheap
    averybridgette: whats cheap
    averybridgette: your prostitute?
    DEM0NH00D: yeah
    DEM0NH00D: she fell apart
    DEM0NH00D: i was disappointed
    DEM0NH00D: couldn’t even get my money back
    averybridgette: at least you have the sheep
    DEM0NH00D: i mean, that was bus fare
    averybridgette: and your handcuffs
    DEM0NH00D: the sheep will never leave me
    DEM0NH00D: because i have the handcuffs 🙂

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  • Alex 8:09 pm on July 1, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    sean: snatch, always a pleasure

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  • Alex 10:09 am on June 10, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , spork   

    sean: you’re a very helpful man. hell, i was just talking to my doctor the other day, and i told him how helpful you were in removing my spleen with a spork, a dirty rock, and a pair of tongs.

    alex: you didn’t tell him my name, did you?

    sean: no, i sorta passed out.

    alex: exxxxcellent.

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  • Sean 10:54 pm on June 5, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    (while in Chilis, talking to an off duty waiter named Gregg. Gregg, btw, is the one that sings Happy Birthday opera style.)

    Avery: Oh yeah, so you like the lakers?
    Gregg: Yeah.
    (sometime later)
    (lakers score a basket)
    Avery: Woooooh. Show us your tits!
    (Gregg shakes his head, looks around as if to say “this girl is crazy”)

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  • Sean 10:32 pm on June 5, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , exclamations   

    Paka: What?? I’m not drunk enough to drive!

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  • Alex 9:43 am on June 4, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    sean: oh yea, look at my massive 2 inches…

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  • Stevem 3:29 pm on May 30, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , iceland   

    SMcGheek: nah. you see that thing about greenland?
    rehren: no, what is it?
    SMcGheek: slashdot.org
    rehren: iceland you mean?
    SMcGheek: ya
    SMcGheek: same thing 😉
    rehren: it is?
    SMcGheek: no
    SMcGheek: joking

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  • Jen 2:02 pm on May 28, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    While discussing a Catholic mass Dawn had recently attended…
    Narfa5 (1:57:39 PM): and i probably would have really gone off when i drank the wine
    Narfa5 (1:57:47 PM): they were using the communal cup too
    Narfa5 (1:57:50 PM): which is icky
    JenRHock (1:58:01 PM): no, no no! they wipe it with the Napkin of Our Lord.
    Narfa5 (1:58:12 PM): oh yeah, what was i thinking?
    Narfa5 (1:58:25 PM): god will kill the germies!
    Narfa5 (1:58:30 PM): but wait, he can’t do that, can he?
    JenRHock (1:58:34 PM): The Lord’s Napkin is made antibacterial by the Grace of Our Lord Jesus.

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  • Alex 2:59 pm on May 23, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: dumb,   

    while discussing stupid coworkers
    alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there?
    jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system…    i am that dumb.

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