(while walking thru an outdoor shopping center) Popcorn Vendor (calling out): Free samples, if you’d like to taste! Tessa: Did he just say “Free samples, for Christ’s sake.” ? Max: I don’t think so. Sean:: But that’d be a unique way to sell popcorn. Invoking the name of Jesus Christ.
Yearly Archives: 2002
Looks Brassy
Alex: Hey Billy, can I take a peek at your iron monkey?
Until I Get a Camera
(while reaching for some brie at a holiday party, his arm precariously close to being burned) Alex: uh oh. I don’t think I should be cutting the cheese over these candles.
Toe Typing
tessardiva: i’m typing with wet nails wittymusketeer: use your toes tessardiva: im doing ok thank you tessardiva: its a challenge wittymusketeer: landing on the moon is a challenge, typing with wet fingernails is a byproduct of the commercialization of beauty wittymusketeer: i’ve been watching to much daria
It was a long time coming
“My turtle ran away!” – a very sad story from the mouth of a distraught college student.
Sandbagged
Dawn: there’s a river running in the grass outside my backdoor Jen: they might have to sandbag your porch. they do that some years there. Dawn: darn 1st floor apartment Jen: a river runs through it. Dawn: unless Brad Pitt is in that river, i don’t want it in my apartment.
2 Higher on the Religion Scale
“Atheist? So that’s better than Catholic right?” -said to me by my roomate.
Pay Smut Was Bankrupting Me
Lora: Hell Yeah! Free Porn
Seven Days
(most of us had recently seen the new movie ‘The Ring’) lopaka: …7 days… sean: cleaning a broom closet takes…7 days jen: dissolving a body in acid takes…7 days lopaka: 1 week is … 7 days jen: 7 hours at work feels like…7 days sean: the common cold can last…for 7 days jen: lopaka, what …
Heat Vision Gifts
steve: I wanna be Superman for Christmas.
North or South?
Billy: What are you doing? Lora: nothing…the Koreans are here
Stop
stephenmhock: what would have happened if MC Hammer had really liked water? Auto response from Narfa5: shower time.
Equal Rights
Billy: What kind of a world is it when a man will get arrested for backhanding a woman, but a woman will not get arrested for flicking a man in the balls.
Super Slurpee
jess: i’m enjoying this slurpee on a whole new level that slurpees shouldn’t be enjoyed on!
At Least you Frolick
on her day at work: Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.
So, Hockey Then?
sean: yup. hockey is on alex: yea, hockey is where it’s at sean: hockey is da place alex: hockey in ya face sean: hockey – it’s a pants thing alex: hockey – not just for cows anymore sean: hockey – 4 out of 5 dentists agree, it’s greeeeaaat! alex: it would take 10 games of …
Laser Laser
alexatitp: laser tag bazooka? DEM0NH00D: hehe, that’s just nuts alexatitp: laser tag nerve gas alexatitp: laser tag demoralizing propoganda… DEM0NH00D: laser tag barbed wire DEM0NH00D: laser tag suicide pill alexatitp: laser tag wartime brothel DEM0NH00D: laser tag VD alexatitp: laser tag pine box / battleship sea burial kit DEM0NH00D: laser tag insignia wrapped over coffin …
Crazy Bout Nature
Driving downtown in the morning. Two leaves are stuck between the car hood and the windshield. They flap in the wind. Alex: See the little leaves. They dance in the breeze, like children. Jen: That was beautiful. Alex: I HATE THEM! I WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY AND DIE!
Verdana is Fish
(while discussing what font to use on ICQ) Jessica: verdana? looks like Arial. everything looks like Arial. Arial is like the chicken of fonts.
Private Parts, Second Class
Steve H. : Sgt. Dickerheimer just picked Matt up. Jen: Tell me that’s not really his name. Steve: Nah, its Hollinger or something. But I liked Dickenheimer better. Jen: It’s a good one.
Mustard Bandwidth
(around lunchtime, in two different locations) alex: man i’m so hungry sean: so hungry you’re hungy eh. i should make me a samich alex: then feed it to me sean: my cable modem does not support the food protocol alex: stupid cox. alex: i ate a pizza over dsl the other day alex: it was …
Restrain the One You Love
DEM0NH00D: pretty cheap averybridgette: whats cheap averybridgette: your prostitute? DEM0NH00D: yeah DEM0NH00D: she fell apart DEM0NH00D: i was disappointed DEM0NH00D: couldn’t even get my money back averybridgette: at least you have the sheep DEM0NH00D: i mean, that was bus fare averybridgette: and your handcuffs DEM0NH00D: the sheep will never leave me DEM0NH00D: because i have …
So Polite
sean: snatch, always a pleasure
Medical Hobbies
sean: you’re a very helpful man. hell, i was just talking to my doctor the other day, and i told him how helpful you were in removing my spleen with a spork, a dirty rock, and a pair of tongs. alex: you didn’t tell him my name, did you? sean: no, i sorta passed out. …
She Screams that Everywhere
(while in Chilis, talking to an off duty waiter named Gregg. Gregg, btw, is the one that sings Happy Birthday opera style.) Avery: Oh yeah, so you like the lakers? Gregg: Yeah. (sometime later) (lakers score a basket) Avery: Woooooh. Show us your tits! (Gregg shakes his head, looks around as if to say “this …
Helps Pass The Time
Paka: What?? I’m not drunk enough to drive!
MASSiVE
sean: oh yea, look at my massive 2 inches…
Geography Major
SMcGheek: nah. you see that thing about greenland? rehren: no, what is it? SMcGheek: slashdot.org rehren: iceland you mean? SMcGheek: ya SMcGheek: same thing 😉 rehren: it is? SMcGheek: no SMcGheek: joking
Our Lord’s Paper Towel
While discussing a Catholic mass Dawn had recently attended… Narfa5 (1:57:39 PM): and i probably would have really gone off when i drank the wine Narfa5 (1:57:47 PM): they were using the communal cup too Narfa5 (1:57:50 PM): which is icky JenRHock (1:58:01 PM): no, no no! they wipe it with the Napkin of Our …
Surely Not That Dumb
while discussing stupid coworkers alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there? jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system… Â Â i am …