Lora: fake boobs just walked in the library. she is very perky.
Alex: would fake boobs WALK into a place, or bounce into a place?
Lora: strut i think. boom bada boom bada boom.
(and sometime later…)
Alex: fake dick just walked into work. followed by his friend, real asshole.
Sean: are they into one another?
Alex: sort of in an out. very cyclical
Updates from November, 2001 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Sean
-
Alex
while watching a commercial for a ridiculous, painted silver dollar – cost: significantly more than a dollar
TV: And if you call now you can get this American Flag pin with a quarter molded in.
Alex: *mockingly* hey, what did you pay for your quarter?
Billy: *answering mockery* I got it free with my 40 dollar dollar!
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Jen
Narfa5 (2:46:57 PM): stupid physics lab
Narfa5 (2:47:07 PM): it hates me and i hate it more
JenRHock (2:57:05 PM): i hate you too.
Narfa5 (2:57:38 PM): i think you and physics lab would get along well
JenRHock (2:58:46 PM): we should have babies.
Narfa5 (2:59:03 PM): mmm…little vectors
Narfa5 (2:59:42 PM): you could throw them off cliffs and they’d tell you what their velocity was at the time of impact
JenRHock (3:00:05 PM): you’d be a wonderful mother. -
Stevem
the conversation
(after closing the window 3 times already)
(16:47:58) peachesNcreamez: really no joke whats your real name
(16:48:18) smcgheek: hey. im trying to get some work done here. would you mind not bothering me?
(16:48:56) peachesNcreamez: do you know katie
(16:49:22) smcgheek: go do some algebra homework
(16:49:30) peachesNcreamez: no
(16:49:35) peachesNcreamez: dont have any
(16:49:38) smcgheek: sorry, then do some phonics.
(16:49:46) peachesNcreamez: dont do that
(16:50:06) smcgheek: seriously, im at work. im glad youre home from school.the user info
Username : peachesNcreamez
Member Since : Sun Jul 8 16:53:14 2001
Warning Level : 0 %
Online Since : Thu Sep 20 15:34:24 2001
Idle Minutes : 11Hi to yall. I love Justin. you are my honey. i love you! :-*:-Pi miss you so much!
shoutouts to:
-everyone from the nationals pageant! we kicked ass out there girls!
liz,kate,maria,justin,jen,jill,alyssa,britt,kiley,paige, ellen, and anyone else i forgot. === sorry if i forgot you. all of you mean a lot to me!!!!!- of course that was all bull!
i love jagged edges new song “where the party at” and 112’s ” Peaches n Cream”steve- do you have raceing sperm? lol
ellen- we need to get together and show steve and chris what its all about! lol
brenna- you me and gym class! lol -
Sean
ean: you can’t plant every seed
Piper: Oh, Dude…Now you tell me
Piper: all that waisted seed
Sean: and pumpkin/human hybrids……that’s a no go too
Piper: you been fucking pumpkins?!
Piper: –silence—
Sean: the pumpkin lies!
Sean: i never touched that pumpkin. -
Alex
lora: I played with it until it discharged.
-
Alex
stevem: I could carve rock with my nipples right now.
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Stevem
alexatitp: that is really weird
SMcGheek: yuppers
alexatitp: yuppers?
SMcGheek: yup
alexatitp: steve, is that you?
SMcGheek: ya
SMcGheek: i dont know what came over me. im sorry.
SMcGheek: [shame]
alexatitp: [embarrasment]
SMcGheek: [vengance]
alexatitp: [fear]
SMcGheek: [rage]
alexatitp: [dirty underpants]
SMcGheek: [slaughter]
alexatitp: [death?]
SMcGheek: [guilt]
SMcGheek: [denial]
alexatitp: [haunting]
SMcGheek: [acceptance]
alexatitp: [appearance at own funeral]
SMcGheek: [bewilderment]
alexatitp: [ascention]
SMcGheek: [praise]
alexatitp: [judgement]
SMcGheek: [damnation]
alexatitp: [satisfaction]
SMcGheek: [rage]
SMcGheek: [again]
SMcGheek: [st alex]
alexatitp: again saint alex? or against alex
SMcGheek: as in rage against the machine. st alex maybe too. creepy.
alexatitp: i hope we haven’t just sealed our fates
SMcGheek: god listens to aim conversations.
alexatitp: can god see me masturbate?
SMcGheek: only if you do it on aim
alexatitp: uh oh
SMcGheek: sinner. -
Sean
(the night continues…see previous quote)
Samantha (fairly intoxicated): I give good head.
(everyone starts laughing)
Samantha: I do.
Jermaine: What?! No you don’t. You give shitty head.
(laughter grows)
Samantha: Not on humans. Duh. Animals. They’re much easier. With their little weewees.
Joe (laughing uncontrollably): Stop stop! I can’t handle anymore. No more animal sex! -
Sean
(while walking in a group down the streets of the local college town)
Samantha (approaching random guy): Hey, how’re you doing?
Random Guy: Real good.
Samantha: What would it take to get you on all fours?
Random Guy: Um, a lot.
Samantha: That’s too bad. You’re not the goat I’m looking for. Bahhhhh! Bye. -
Sean
Lora: but where is the extra money coming from in order to get this tax cut
Lopaka: the tax cut is retro from last year
Sean: the extra money is from a government surplus
Steve: bake sales
Sean: cheney was sweating over the oven for hours with those brownies
Lora: that’s my dick
Steve: whoa -
Alex
tobin: you win some, you lose some, and some you just don’t tell people about.
-
Sean
during a peaceful ‘pizza and beer’ outing
Tobin: I haven’t seen crack like that since I was gay.
-
Max
While she was working at the KFC drivethru
Tessa(my sister): Can I get you anything else this evening?
Guy at Drivethru: Nope, and that’ll be to go please.
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Alex
tobin: Columbia House is sending me “What Women Want”. The only thing I know about that movie is that “I don’t want it”.
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Max
Quotes from my family.
“Don’t trip over dead chickens”– (is that like ‘don’t cry over spilt milk’?)
-As I was taking out the trash, my father came home and this was the first thing he said to me, its hard to explain why.“You big jew!”
-My 11 year old sister suddenly yelled this as I denied her a cookie. She claims she meant to say, ‘you big doofus’. Sure…“I don’t like eating cole slaw in the dark”
-Another odd quote from my youngest sister, said during a bout of misguided energy conservation. -
Stevem
rehren: i’ll install it after work.
rehren: i have the cd in my pocket
SMcGheek: hah. ok.
SMcGheek: just walkin around with software on you, eh?
rehren: always -
Stevem
rehren: handy down parts suck.
SMcGheek: its hand-me down.
rehren: oh.[later]
stevem@redigital:[~] % e “randall said you said you’d go if we went” | al
Message from bushwacker@redigital.org on ttyp1 at 15:22 …
randall also said ‘handy downs’
EOF -
Alex
randall: hey lopaka, do you know who [female name] is?
lopaka: nope, i don’t think so.randall: oh… well, she used to be a man.
-
Stevem
rehren: k. ftp only access he has.
SMcGheek: thanks yoda.
-
Alex
Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work
*looks around blankly*
Tobin: … oops.
*goes about his business* -
Jen
Dawn, in AIM: “argh! all i want is freaking jungle love by steve miller band! is that too much to ask?”
(and later…)
“ooh, found steve meisner band: jammin! polkas.”
(even later…)
“oh yeah, this polka is jammin! “ -
Sean
“You’re lucky, here at the university we have the foremost researcher on Genital Warts, Dr.Cox.”
- Completely serious ‘Human Sexuality’ professor.
-
Sean
“All those gods you made up in your head are figments of your imagination!”
- Yelled by a man outside of a concert (Tori Amos, no less) carrying a sign that read “TRUST JESUS OR BURN IN HELL”
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Sean
“It doesn’t really matter to me, just as long as it’s tight on my ass.”
- some college girl in a laundromat, referring to god knows what
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Sean
“I mean, who is this guy? And why is he watching me get naked?”
- A comment from a friend, taken slightly out of context
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Sean
“You don’t know where Denny’s is? You call yourself men?”
- Drunken skanky hos in front of an AM/PM in Riverside, CA
(this was said to me and a group of my friends. there is no better way to describe the group of ‘women’ that said this. trust me)
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Alex
billy: How many “s”es are in “Rodman”?
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Sean
(as Wes stretches after getting off his motorcycle)
Wes: Argh…I’m saddle sore from fucking horses.
-
Alex
alex: does anyone here claim to know eudora well?
steve hock: i could claim it, but then i’d be a liar as well as a eudora expert.
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