Updates from December, 2003 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Alex 10:11 pm on December 2, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: wang,   

    discussing Britney Spears, the almighty
    tobin:
    “She’s so cold, she’s hot.
    She’s so hot, she’s cold.
    She’s so yin, she’s yang.
    And now to wax my wang.”

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  • Sean 6:55 pm on December 1, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    (jess talking with alex about housing possibilities in Hayward)

    jess: you might want to look at B street.
    alex: B as in boy? or D as in dog?
    jess: boy as in dog.
    alex: *laughs maniacally*
    jess (realizing error): *laughs* i mean B as in boy!
    sean (listening in, messaged to alex): my girlfriend doesn’t know the alphabet.
    alex: awesome funny.
    sean: it’s only embarassing when we play scrabble. the rest of the time, it’s ok.

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  • Max 3:45 am on October 12, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , sandpaper   

    While watching a friend play a videogame

    Yamo “This game is the rough equivalent of masturbating with sandpaper”

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  • Max 11:35 pm on October 7, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , fiddle   

    DEM0NH00D:new topic!
    LAM0NT: Fiddle faddle…any thoughts?
    DEM0NH00D: not as good as poppycock!
    LAM0NT: I’m not eating anything with the word cock in it
    DEM0NH00D: that’s not what i hear
    DEM0NH00D: :p
    LAM0NT: suck my poppy

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  • Alex 10:11 pm on September 11, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    tobin:
    I think I prefer “songs to which one ought to eat twat” for an album title, reserving “cunilingus ditty” for the hit single.

    Other songs include “greasy smile”, “it only smells like fish”, “I found the boat, where’s the man”, and the anthem sing-a-long “tasty pink taco”

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  • Alex 10:11 pm on September 6, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: kissing   

    *emulating her childhood self*

    Andria: When I have a boyfriend, I want to kiss him on a boat.

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  • Sean 1:29 pm on September 5, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    (Sean puts on a Mac OS X t-shirt that prominently displays a big blue X)

    Jess: Hey look, X marks the geek!

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  • Sean 2:03 pm on July 30, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    (while playing with a friend’s cats)

    Jess: The cats are licking their own crotches. I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or jealous.

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  • Alex 9:04 pm on July 15, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: movie critics   

    colin (the sailor): “Pirates of the Caribbean” has got to be the best movie since “Captain Ron”!

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  • Alex 11:20 am on June 25, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , life lessons   

    jen: if everybody had very nice lives, we’d all run out of reasons to drink.

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  • Sean 9:34 am on June 19, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , ,   

    (while playing Metroid on the Gamecube)

    sean: …and this is the analyze mode. you can run around and analyze everything.
    andria: ooh, women are good at analyzing things.
    alex (chuckling): so where’s the over analyze button?

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  • Tessa 1:07 am on June 19, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    tessa: “I heard this is a great movie”
    mom: “yeah, FOR EGGS!”
    tessa: “WHAT?”

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  • Sean 12:47 pm on June 2, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    Alex: Jen always gets scared when I pull my candy out too soon.

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  • Sean 11:53 am on June 2, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bad business,   

    (online conversation via broadcast messages)

    Steve: anyone else hear those sirens on campus?
    Sean: some power transformer blow up again or something?
    Jen: if you all die, I get your stereos
    Steve: granted
    Alex: i’d like to be burried with my stereo playing ‘tell me something good’
    Sean: much better choice than queen’s ‘another one bites the dust’.
    Tobin: I’d like to be buried with my stereo playing ‘let’s get it on’
    Sean: maybe we should get into the business of coffin tunes. tobin tries to sell them on something innappropriate, and one of us plays the consoling sensitive one who sells them ‘Stairway to Heaven’ instead. it’s foolproof
    Tobin: what’s that smell? that smells like… like… brilliance!
    Alex: as if a coffin playing stairway to heaven ISN’T inappropriate
    Sean: it’ll seem downright poetic next to tobin’s ‘me so horny’ suggestion
    Tobin: ooh… we could start with an exhumation special, for those who were unfortunately buried without a soundtrack
    Sean: ‘their afterlife will not be one of silent rotting any longer’. that’ll be our motto
    Tobin: and we could have different packages, rotting to the oldies, rott and roll or make your own ‘decomposition composition’

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  • Sean 10:38 pm on May 29, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: shaved beaver   

    Billy J: I learn things from tv. I learned from Leave it to Beaver that every time you shave, your hair gets thicker when it grows back.
    Alex: So eventually it’ll be this huuuge {forms hands in ring the size of a tennis ball}.
    Jess: Did the beaver shave on that show?
    Billy J: Well…
    {much laughter}

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  • Sean 10:33 pm on May 29, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: blackmail, pride   

    Steve Y.: It’s only blackmail if you’re not proud of it.

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  • Sean 3:17 pm on March 3, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    lamont: Taco Bell has no bell
    demonhood: mcdonalds is not irish
    demonhood: or scottish even
    lamont: Pizza Hut is run by humans not Hutts
    demonhood: there is no royalty at burger king
    lamont: Jack in the Box and Carl’s Junior are both utterly perverse names
    demonhood: wendy’s doesn’t even serve wendy burgers anymore
    lamont: And In and Out is no longer what “a hamburger is all about” They’re changing the name to “In and then snuggle a bit”
    demonhood: subway lives above ground
    lamont: Marie Calendar’s doesn’t know what month it is
    demonhood: sizzler boils everything
    lamont: Dairy Queen isn’t actually run by lactose intolerant gay men.
    demonhood: panda express food is comprised entirely of pandas that weren’t fast enough to get away
    lamont: Del Taco is not truly “Of the Taco”
    demonhood: olive garden salts the earth after they’ve gotten their produce
    lamont: Little Cesaer’s is all that remains of the Roman empire.
    demonhood: dominoes builds too closely to tall unstable neighboring establishments
    lamont: Don Jose isn’t really a Don
    demonhood: Red Robin’s carpet doesn’t match the drapes
    lamont: Black Angus is white.
    demonhood: outback steakhouse uses indoor plumbing
    lamont: Chili’s doesn’t use real baby backs.
    lamont: Long John Silvers wears boxers.
    demonhood: foster’s freeze serves warm food too
    lamont: White Castle is more of a fort.
    demonhood: the owner of Chevy’s prefers Fords
    lamont: Dunkin’ Donuts can only do layups
    demonhood: Krispy Kremes was actually started by a man named Krispy.

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  • Alex 9:31 pm on February 3, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: smells   

    eating chocolate, jen sneezes violently

    jen: ACHOO! whoa, I think I got chocolate in my nose… *looks around*… smells good in here.

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  • Jen 9:26 pm on February 3, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , wong   

    Alex (striking a karate pose to imitate the author on the cover of the book Dynamic Strength): I’m Harry Wong!
    *pause*
    Alex, thoughtfully: Oh my god, that guy’s name is Harry Wong!

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  • Alex 10:56 pm on January 24, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: sex toys   

    alex: have you heard of those dildos that you strap onto your chin?
    jen: you mean the “Leno Dildo”?

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  • Sean 2:03 pm on January 9, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    Billy: That’s the creed of those damn dirty hippies: Fight the man. Fight the shower.

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