discussing Britney Spears, the almighty
tobin:
“She’s so cold, she’s hot.
She’s so hot, she’s cold.
She’s so yin, she’s yang.
And now to wax my wang.”
Updates from December, 2003 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Alex
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Sean
(jess talking with alex about housing possibilities in Hayward)
jess: you might want to look at B street.
alex: B as in boy? or D as in dog?
jess: boy as in dog.
alex: *laughs maniacally*
jess (realizing error): *laughs* i mean B as in boy!
sean (listening in, messaged to alex): my girlfriend doesn’t know the alphabet.
alex: awesome funny.
sean: it’s only embarassing when we play scrabble. the rest of the time, it’s ok. -
Max
While watching a friend play a videogame
Yamo “This game is the rough equivalent of masturbating with sandpaper”
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Max
DEM0NH00D:new topic!
LAM0NT: Fiddle faddle…any thoughts?
DEM0NH00D: not as good as poppycock!
LAM0NT: I’m not eating anything with the word cock in it
DEM0NH00D: that’s not what i hear
DEM0NH00D: :p
LAM0NT: suck my poppy -
Alex
tobin:
I think I prefer “songs to which one ought to eat twat” for an album title, reserving “cunilingus ditty” for the hit single.Other songs include “greasy smile”, “it only smells like fish”, “I found the boat, where’s the man”, and the anthem sing-a-long “tasty pink taco”
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Alex
*emulating her childhood self*
Andria: When I have a boyfriend, I want to kiss him on a boat.
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Sean
(Sean puts on a Mac OS X t-shirt that prominently displays a big blue X)
Jess: Hey look, X marks the geek!
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Sean
(while playing with a friend’s cats)
Jess: The cats are licking their own crotches. I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or jealous.
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Alex
colin (the sailor): “Pirates of the Caribbean” has got to be the best movie since “Captain Ron”!
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Alex
jen: if everybody had very nice lives, we’d all run out of reasons to drink.
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Sean
(while playing Metroid on the Gamecube)
sean: …and this is the analyze mode. you can run around and analyze everything.
andria: ooh, women are good at analyzing things.
alex (chuckling): so where’s the over analyze button? -
Tessa
tessa: “I heard this is a great movie”
mom: “yeah, FOR EGGS!”
tessa: “WHAT?” -
Sean
Alex: Jen always gets scared when I pull my candy out too soon.
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Sean
(online conversation via broadcast messages)
Steve: anyone else hear those sirens on campus?
Sean: some power transformer blow up again or something?
Jen: if you all die, I get your stereos
Steve: granted
Alex: i’d like to be burried with my stereo playing ‘tell me something good’
Sean: much better choice than queen’s ‘another one bites the dust’.
Tobin: I’d like to be buried with my stereo playing ‘let’s get it on’
Sean: maybe we should get into the business of coffin tunes. tobin tries to sell them on something innappropriate, and one of us plays the consoling sensitive one who sells them ‘Stairway to Heaven’ instead. it’s foolproof
Tobin: what’s that smell? that smells like… like… brilliance!
Alex: as if a coffin playing stairway to heaven ISN’T inappropriate
Sean: it’ll seem downright poetic next to tobin’s ‘me so horny’ suggestion
Tobin: ooh… we could start with an exhumation special, for those who were unfortunately buried without a soundtrack
Sean: ‘their afterlife will not be one of silent rotting any longer’. that’ll be our motto
Tobin: and we could have different packages, rotting to the oldies, rott and roll or make your own ‘decomposition composition’ -
Sean
Billy J: I learn things from tv. I learned from Leave it to Beaver that every time you shave, your hair gets thicker when it grows back.
Alex: So eventually it’ll be this huuuge {forms hands in ring the size of a tennis ball}.
Jess: Did the beaver shave on that show?
Billy J: Well…
{much laughter} -
Sean
Steve Y.: It’s only blackmail if you’re not proud of it.
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Sean
lamont: Taco Bell has no bell
demonhood: mcdonalds is not irish
demonhood: or scottish even
lamont: Pizza Hut is run by humans not Hutts
demonhood: there is no royalty at burger king
lamont: Jack in the Box and Carl’s Junior are both utterly perverse names
demonhood: wendy’s doesn’t even serve wendy burgers anymore
lamont: And In and Out is no longer what “a hamburger is all about” They’re changing the name to “In and then snuggle a bit”
demonhood: subway lives above ground
lamont: Marie Calendar’s doesn’t know what month it is
demonhood: sizzler boils everything
lamont: Dairy Queen isn’t actually run by lactose intolerant gay men.
demonhood: panda express food is comprised entirely of pandas that weren’t fast enough to get away
lamont: Del Taco is not truly “Of the Taco”
demonhood: olive garden salts the earth after they’ve gotten their produce
lamont: Little Cesaer’s is all that remains of the Roman empire.
demonhood: dominoes builds too closely to tall unstable neighboring establishments
lamont: Don Jose isn’t really a Don
demonhood: Red Robin’s carpet doesn’t match the drapes
lamont: Black Angus is white.
demonhood: outback steakhouse uses indoor plumbing
lamont: Chili’s doesn’t use real baby backs.
lamont: Long John Silvers wears boxers.
demonhood: foster’s freeze serves warm food too
lamont: White Castle is more of a fort.
demonhood: the owner of Chevy’s prefers Fords
lamont: Dunkin’ Donuts can only do layups
demonhood: Krispy Kremes was actually started by a man named Krispy. -
Alex
eating chocolate, jen sneezes violently
jen: ACHOO! whoa, I think I got chocolate in my nose… *looks around*… smells good in here.
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Jen
Alex (striking a karate pose to imitate the author on the cover of the book Dynamic Strength): I’m Harry Wong!
*pause*
Alex, thoughtfully: Oh my god, that guy’s name is Harry Wong! -
Alex
alex: have you heard of those dildos that you strap onto your chin?
jen: you mean the “Leno Dildo”? -
Sean
Billy: That’s the creed of those damn dirty hippies: Fight the man. Fight the shower.
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