Updates from December, 2011 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Sean 3:00 pm on December 26, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Diet, people, revisionist history, WWII   

    Sarah: Why did we come into the mall?

    Sean: Because we hate people?

    Steve: Hating people burns a lot of calories. Look at Hitler, he wasn’t overweight.

    Sean: Wasn’t he a vegetarian though?

    Steve: That may have had something to do with it.

    Sean: I wonder why he didn’t eat meat. It certainly wasn’t for moral reasons.

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  • Sean 12:06 am on December 16, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: contagious, Disease, lies   

    Satya: He told me it was a really mild case of Ebola.


    Satya: After he left I sprayed the whole place down with Lysol.

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  • Sean 8:07 pm on November 17, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: buzzkill,   

    Sarah: Nothing takes the romance out of a moment like stepping on a slug.

    (runs off into the bathroom to wipe off her foot)

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  • Sean 11:14 am on October 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , hipster, Tenderness   

    (two hipster skater guys at breakfast)

    Guy:Would you like to see the Lion King 3D with me tonight? I’ll hold your hand.

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  • Sean 2:15 pm on October 9, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , for the kids   

    (guy standing in the street, talking on his phone)

    Guy: What is it? Um, well, it’s a beer pong tournament. You know, for school.

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  • Sean 1:46 pm on July 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , guts,   

    (employee trying to upsell additional items at a chinese restaurant)

    Employee: Would you like our bbq chicken?
    Beth: Is it white meat or dark meat?
    Employee: It’s teriyaki!

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  • Sean 12:49 pm on June 3, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , sandwich   

    Jen: i think we have plans to go look at cars
    Sean: babymobiles?
    Sean: dodge minivan complete with a BABY ON BOARD placard
    Jen: eat ten dicks
    Sean: that’s so many. i’m not even hungry
    Jen:well you should have thought of that before you got all smarty on me
    now you got ten dicks and they ain’t gonna eat themselves
    which reminds me it’s time for me to go get a sandwich
    Sean: haha dick sandwich
    Jen: hey whatever helps you get the dicks down

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  • Sean 9:08 pm on April 24, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Breasts,   

    (While driving down the road, past a woman carrying 2 large empty water bottles)

    Sarah (screaming out the window): Nice jugs!

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  • Sean 1:13 pm on April 5, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , life   

    Jen: you just need to do one impulsively ill advised thing, and see what it tastes like.
    (hopefully it won’t taste like hobo cock.)

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  • Sean 2:26 pm on March 29, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    (passing by a college student on her phone)

    Woman: No no. I was surrounded by a bunch of pretentious cunts.

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