Updates from December, 2005 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Jen 11:32 am on December 26, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: pajamas   

    Steve: I wore pajamas last night. I have Peanuts all over my bottom.

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  • Sean 7:18 pm on December 25, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , presents   

    opening presents

    Dad: It plays DVDs and CDs.
    Tessa (reading box): It does 400…..dicks. Uh, I mean discs!
    Steve, Anna & Max (at once): In a row?!

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  • Jen 5:28 pm on December 25, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Mom: What’s the name of that movie…”Silent Runnings”? You know, that one with the Puerto Rican luge team.
    Jen: You mean the Jamaican bobsled team?
    Mom: No, it was a Puerto Rican luge. “Silent Runnings,” right?
    Steve: Cool Runnings. With the Jamaican bobsled team.
    Mom: Right, Cool Runnings.

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  • Tessa 11:19 am on December 24, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bitches, trek   

    While playing movie game:

    Sean: You’re on Brent Spiner
    Max: wait wait what?!
    Sean: You’re doing Data Bitch!!

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  • Tobin 12:02 pm on December 20, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    this man is sick, I don’t know him…

    alex:
    “you put your right toe bin, you put your right toe bout,
    you put your right toe bin, and you gently massage the anal cavity.
    you do the tobin toe-bin and you wiggle it about
    and hope that no poop comes out!”

    but damn, he’s funny

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  • Sean 11:52 am on December 20, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bedtime,   

    [the out of context battle continues]

    jen: i snuck out of my bed last night and had some.
    jen: i was laying there thinking about how it was in the next room, so i finally gave up and got some, and then i wanted more.

    jen: wait, that sounded dirty.

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  • Lopaka 11:40 am on December 14, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: alcohol, joke too far   

    lopaka: Drinking makes me feel good. I should drink more often.
    (everyone laughs)
    sean: That’s why I drink every night.
    (everyone laughs)
    sean: No, really.
    (everyone stares at sean)

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  • Jen 10:30 am on December 14, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , time cop   

    [online debate. subject: Time Travel.]

    Jen: if watching Back to the Future taught me anything, it’s that your past and future selves cannot meet, or else you destroy the universe.
    Sean: i dunno. if i take Timecop as gospel (and why wouldn’t i?!), then they couldn’t fight because they’d cancel each other out and cease to exist if they touched. poor Ron Silver.
    Jen: interesting. but if they exist in the same moment, why does touching even matter?
    Sean: something about the same object not being able to exist in the same space. van damme probably did the splits to distract from this plot point.
    Jen: but they DON’T exist in the same space. they’d only exist in the same space if Ron Silver A’s atoms materialized in the EXACT SAME place as Ron Silver B’s, and in that case Ron Silver A would probably explode or something anyway.
    Sean: i guess touching was enough of an overlap to cause problems. it’s not like they were making out or anything. just a bump.
    Jen: if Ron Silver A is just fighting Ron Silver B, their molecules don’t exist in the same place at the same time at all – they’re just foxyboxing. i find this “Timecop” premise ludicrous.
    Sean: in van damme’s universe, it was close enough.
    Jen: but it’s NOT close enough!
    Sean: the universe rounds up.

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  • Jen 4:16 pm on December 13, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    [online conversation]

    Sean: if i have to listen to a sleeping man snoring while almost swallowing his own tongue, they can deal with a little rack action.

    Jen: i’m taking that out of context.

    Sean: i’m a lot filthier out of context.

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  • Jen 4:15 pm on December 13, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    [online conversation]

    Sean: i’d have a stupid smirk on my face the entire time. and there’s no way i’d be able to do it with either of you there. one bit of eye contact and i’d explode with laughter.

    Jen: i’m taking that out of context.

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  • Alex 2:25 pm on December 2, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    sean: if it can’t tell time AND make your penis bigger, then what use is it?!!

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  • Sean 3:26 pm on November 6, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: name calling   

    madeline: nerd
    sean: geek
    madeline: pedophile
    sean: baby cannibal
    madeline: puppy shishkababer
    sean: raccoon fornicator
    madeline: atheist
    sean: mormon
    madeline: my computer got unplugged. mike did it…christian fundamentalist.
    sean: always blaming others…..republican
    madeline: i put blame where blame is due… anti-abortion doctor-killer.
    sean: a likely story….televangelist
    madeline: bake me cookies… apartheid supporter.
    sean: bake your own cookies…. bush cabinet member
    madeline: i’m busy – you do it…prussian blue fan.
    sean: the kitchen is full already…..holocaust denier
    madeline: … mel gibson fan.
    sean: paris hilton stalker
    madeline: katie holmes impregnator
    sean: scientologist missionary
    madeline: missionary-style purist
    sean: abstinence only teacher
    madeline: god-made-aids-to-punish-gay-people believer
    sean: abu ghraib prison manual author
    *insert problem with displaying a picture in the chat window*
    madeline: it would’ve worked fine if you hadn’t mucked it up… funny picture sabotager.
    sean: i live to thwart your efforts….carrot top fanclub president.
    madeline: you are a vile, vile monster… martha stewart sexer-upper.
    sean: my cruelty knows no bounds…..michael jackson defense fund contributor
    madeline: talker-during-the-quiet-parts-in-the-movie-theater-er.
    sean: Perfect Strangers erotic fanfic writer
    madeline: now that’s just going too far!
    sean: haha! i win!

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  • Alex 4:04 pm on November 2, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: nostalgia,   

    referring to something dorky

    sean: i haven’t seen dork like that since junior high gym class!

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  • Lopaka 3:06 pm on September 28, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    sean: two things I hate – Hitler and yogurt!

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  • Jen 2:21 pm on June 23, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , foxburger   

    Steve: I’m drowning in worcestershire sauce!
    Jen: Delicious death.
    Steve: Delicious like a foxburger!

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  • Sean 10:41 pm on June 22, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    (while discussing medical form letters letting you know if
    A) [ ] you’re going to die from a horrible disease or
    B) [ ] it’s not a tumor)

    alex: that’s be great if the ‘x’ that marks the box was kind of in two boxes and you weren’t sure what the diagnosis was.
    sean: “damnit. i’m not sure if i have cancer or if i just voted for pat buchanon”

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  • Sean 9:36 am on June 17, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , teacher   

    (overheard outside a restaurant)

    Man: Nah, it won’t work out. Preschool teachers never give you a happy ending.

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  • Sean 12:54 pm on May 31, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , up your ass   

    (overheard while eating lunch)

    Guy 1: I mean, you can stick a lit cigarette up your ass and nothing will happen.
    Guy 2: Well, you might get burned.
    Guy 1: Sure, but the filter should help with that.

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  • Jen 8:51 pm on April 28, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    Spoken part of Cyprus Hill song: “Lotta sharks out there, lookin’ to get ahead…”
    Dawn: Hmmm…sharks. That’s a metaphor.

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  • Jen 4:15 pm on March 9, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , ninjas   

    Coworker 1: Chicks dig C++.
    Coworker 2: Not C, though.
    1: Not C?
    2: No way, man. C’s just…*shrugs*. But C++ is like, ninja shit.

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  • Sean 12:23 pm on February 2, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: technology   

    Randall: Ok, another homeless person with a laptop? He isn’t getting my change.

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  • Sean 12:21 pm on February 2, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: fat joke   

    (turning a corner in the car, a few women cross the street in front of us)
    Brad: Moooooooo!!!
    Josh: Awww. Hey now.
    Brad: Don’t worry Josh, she’ll still be warm for another 45 minutes after you hit her with the car.

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  • Billy 11:52 am on January 18, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Billy:It’s 3:30 the backside is closed by now.
    Wes:The backside is always open for business!

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  • Alex 9:51 am on January 18, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    * watching exercise equipment infomercial with CHUCK NORRIS and CHRISTY BRINKLEY *

    Christy Brinkley: It’s been a tough day of working out, Chuck!
    Chuck Norris: It sure has been!

    Sean: Hahahaha… “has beens.”

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