Updates from March, 2006 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Sean 5:04 pm on March 13, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , easter,   

    sean: i’m eating easter candy. does that make me a bad jew?
    jen: you can’t eat the candy if you’ve killed our Lord.
    jen: unless, while he was being crucified, he was stuck with a spear and candy fell out
    sean: oooh. our lord the piƱata. the holy grail was actually a candy bowl!
    jen: i can’t decide if that was the most sacreligious thing i’ve ever thought. it certainly felt like it.
    sean: it’s pretty hilariously sacrilegious. i think the flames of hell are lapping at your heals a little bit more after that one
    jen: now i’m picturing mary magdalene wailing on the ground, gathering up hard candy in her headscarf.
    sean: she loved caramel almost as much as she loved that rascal jesus. in a platonic sort of way, of course.
    jen: who even knows with jesus. they probably played sex games where he covered her in Magic Shell then commanded her to RISE FROM THE DEAD! ”
    sean: deliciously naughty. they just etched your name into your seat in hell
    jen: this being, of course, where the tradition of hollow easter chocolate comes from.
    sean: ah. i wish they would have kept it the naked lady instead of the bunny
    jen: it’s a metaphor.
    sean: screw the metaphor, i want lady chocolate!
    jen: you’d screw that too.
    sean: it’d fall apart. and that just wouldn’t do.
    sean: jesus was all about the loose women and empty calories.

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  • Sean 11:07 pm on March 12, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: molestation, myspace   

    (while walking to the liquor store before Jason’s band plays nearby)

    Sean: I’m glad I found out about this. Ha, MySpace, bringing people together.
    Jason: Yeah, it’s not the usual: Bringing together child molesters and 12 year old girls.
    Woman walks out of the store, giving Jason a disgusted look.
    Jason (apologetic): Um, no I didn’t mean… It’s…it’s a myspace joke.
    Sean: Worst time to walk in on THAT conversation I guess.

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  • Jen 4:43 pm on March 2, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: clowns, moving   

    (discussing sean’s living arrangements)

    sean: [name redacted] would only be back for a month. she suggested rooming up for the weekdays and she’d go with her parents on the weekends. and then, next time she came back, at least one person in the main house would have moved out and she’d go in there… wow, can’t believe i got that out between the clown sex and rimming.

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  • Sean 3:07 pm on March 1, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: b actors, ,   

    sean: hahahahaha. thanks to our little time travel conversation, the 11th google result for “abortion, ron silver” is the quotes page
    jen: “abortion, ron silver”? why would anybody be searching for that?
    sean: someone must be curious about ron silver’s abortion stance. next query “child labor, steven segal”
    jen: “equal housing rights, lou diamond phillips”
    sean: “unemployment benefits, ralph macchio”
    jen: “literacy pledge drives, kathy ireland”
    sean: “homeless shelters, lance henriksen”
    jen: “wastewater management practices, antonio sabato jr.”
    sean: “teen pregnancy, dean cain”
    jen: “affordable health care, kristanna loken”
    sean: “international silver trading, robert patrick”
    jen: “international microchip exporting, alexandra paul”
    sean: “anti-fur campaigning, rutger hauer”
    jen: “german reunification, michael shanks”
    sean: “religious tolerance, treat williams”
    jen: but isn’t treat williams already on that wb show where everyone practices christian values?
    sean: damnit! you’re right. Holier Than Thou, Alaska, i think it’s called
    jen: wasn’t it “Rocking Chair Hill, Wisconsin”?
    sean: i’m pretty sure it’s “Oral Isn’t Sex, Wyoming”
    jen: “It’s Not Gay If You’re Receiving, Tennessee”
    sean: hahaha. now that’s a place to raise a family
    jen: oh, you card. you know there’s no raising families in a town like that!

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