from another site:
The Two Things about World Conquest:
1. Divide and Conquer.
2. Never invade Russia in the winter.

from jen and sean:
3. “Never get in a land war in Asia”
4. Never challenge a Sicilian, when death is on the line.
5. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ….. ha! *dead*
6. Poison both the goblets.
7. Build up immunity to iocaine powder.
8. Call bitchy ex-girlfriend a tramp.
9. Slap supposed kidnapper.
10. Roll down hill.
11. “As….you…..wiiiiiishhhhh!”
12. Wonder what you saw in that horsey-faced girl in the first place.
13. Choose girl over rodents of unusual size. But it was close.
14. Be a man of action. Lies do not become you.
15. Get year of life sucked out of you. It tingles.
16. Go back to the beginning.
17. Albinos have soft heads.
18. “Mawwiage.”
19. Holocaust cloaks are handy for bbqs and party tricks.
20. Only be mostly dead.
21. True love and gambling are closely related.
22. I’m not a witch, I’m your wife.
23. “Good luck storming the castle!”
24. Destroy your perfect breasts.
25. “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.”
26. “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die. Ouch.”
27. “Stop saying that!”
28. Offer him money.
29. Offer him power.
30. Offer him anything.
30. Offer him everything he asks for and more.
31. He wants his father back, you son of a bitch.
32. Kill him. Revenge is sweet.
33. Threaten to cut off the prince’s appendages. Minus the ears.
34. Nah, he’s bluffing.
35. “Drop….your….sword.”
36. Wet yourself.
37. Collapse onto bed as girlfriend and lackey tie up bad guy.
38. Wonder why girlfriend is so dense.
39. Hope girlfriend is more enlightened in bed.
(After all this crap, she’d better be the Mata Hari.)
40. Hey, four white horses.
41. That story wasn’t so bad Columbo..err..granddad.
42. The end. Or is it? (Dum dum dummmmmm)
43. Cue studio exec, 15 years later, pitching idea for “The Princess Daughter” about 15 year old rebelling against her parents. She runs away and has an adventure with Inigo and the gentle giant now played by Hulk Hogan.

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