(an asian sorority is giving out fundraiser fliers for Panda Express.)
(meanwhile, in line)
Girl (eyeing form in boyfriend’s hand): Do you really want to give them 20% of your money?
Boyfriend: Hmm?
Girl: You know. (whispers) The asians.
(an asian sorority is giving out fundraiser fliers for Panda Express.)
(meanwhile, in line)
Girl (eyeing form in boyfriend’s hand): Do you really want to give them 20% of your money?
Boyfriend: Hmm?
Girl: You know. (whispers) The asians.
(as a Gunther concert lets out and the crowd disperses)
Random Male Student: I’m not sure yet. He did ask me to taste his semen.
(overheard on campus)
Woman 1: It was the cat’s meow!
Woman 2: I thought it was the cat’s pajamas.
Woman 1: The cat’s vagina?
Woman 2: Yeah, that’s totally it.
(overheard outside a restaurant)
Man: Nah, it won’t work out. Preschool teachers never give you a happy ending.
(overheard while eating lunch)
Guy 1: I mean, you can stick a lit cigarette up your ass and nothing will happen.
Guy 2: Well, you might get burned.
Guy 1: Sure, but the filter should help with that.
“It doesn’t really matter to me, just as long as it’s tight on my ass.”
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