Tagged: college Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Sean 2:26 pm on March 29, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college,   

    (passing by a college student on her phone)

    Woman: No no. I was surrounded by a bunch of pretentious cunts.

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  • Sean 8:11 am on July 30, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college, tests   

    (students chatting about classes and tests)

    Excitable Student: Oh man, I love multiple choice. I always pass those. Scantrons and all that. Multiple choice is my shit!

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  • Sean 1:09 pm on January 22, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college,   

    (a college couple observes a bunch of male students playing soccer in the mud)

    Boyfriend: Eww.
    Girlfriend: They’re probably rich kids. They can afford to do laundry.
    Boyfriend: Oh.

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  • Sean 1:08 am on May 13, 2007 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college, , semen   

    (as a Gunther concert lets out and the crowd disperses)

    Random Male Student: I’m not sure yet. He did ask me to taste his semen.

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  • Sean 11:27 pm on February 27, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college, ,   

    (overheard on campus)

    Woman 1: It was the cat’s meow!
    Woman 2: I thought it was the cat’s pajamas.
    Woman 1: The cat’s vagina?
    Woman 2: Yeah, that’s totally it.

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  • Sean 12:07 pm on August 6, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , college   

    (the night continues…see previous quote)

    Samantha (fairly intoxicated): I give good head.
    (everyone starts laughing)
    Samantha: I do.
    Jermaine: What?! No you don’t. You give shitty head.
    (laughter grows)
    Samantha: Not on humans. Duh. Animals. They’re much easier. With their little weewees.
    Joe (laughing uncontrollably): Stop stop! I can’t handle anymore. No more animal sex!

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  • Sean 11:56 pm on August 5, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: animal noises, college   

    (while walking in a group down the streets of the local college town)

    Samantha (approaching random guy): Hey, how’re you doing?
    Random Guy: Real good.
    Samantha: What would it take to get you on all fours?
    Random Guy: Um, a lot.
    Samantha: That’s too bad. You’re not the goat I’m looking for. Bahhhhh! Bye.

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  • Sean 2:11 pm on May 9, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college,   

    “You’re lucky, here at the university we have the foremost researcher on Genital Warts, Dr.Cox.”

    • Completely serious ‘Human Sexuality’ professor.
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  • Sean 1:49 pm on May 9, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , college,   

    “It doesn’t really matter to me, just as long as it’s tight on my ass.”

    • some college girl in a laundromat, referring to god knows what
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  • Sean 4:04 pm on March 1, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college   

    (from the little yellow sheet at Jen’s b’day.)

    (in regards to Gabe’s much maligned major)

    So, if a geography major gets lost, does he get kicked out of the major? –sean

    No, they just give him a rock hammer and call it close enough. –anon

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  • Alex 7:19 pm on February 23, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , college,   

    Sean: Hello, this is professor klumfudder. i would like to file a complaint about one of your student presentors for my class. i think his name was Tommy Square or something. the point is, he came into the presentation stinking ass drunk. he slurred his speech, and when one of my students asked what your open hours were, he proceeded to moon them and slap his ass, saying “Here’s yo open hours ya dirty bastard!”

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  • Jen 6:24 pm on January 11, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college   

    Sean: When you can hear the ocean, that means you’re no longer connected to RBT.
    Alex: It also means you’re drowning.
    Sean: Which is less of a concern.

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  • Jen 10:25 am on January 11, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college   

    (While enduring a long, silent wait on RBT.)
    Jen: Should I hang up and call again?
    Sean and Alex: NO!
    Alex: That’s not even funny to joke about.

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  • Anonymous 4:31 pm on June 23, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: college,   

    USER: I am having problems with my email.
    MIKA: What is your address?
    USER: 6### Del Playa.

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