(passing by a college student on her phone)
Woman: No no. I was surrounded by a bunch of pretentious cunts.
Tagged: vagina Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Sean
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Sean
(while discussing what to doodle at our next pub quiz night)
Jen: i thought of a way better idea for the back of Sheet 4 tomorrow
“TRUE and INTERESTING Facts About Vaginas Not Appearing in Tonight’s Program”1) “The modern day vagina was invented in 1832 by George Washington Carver, who also discovered over 300 uses for the peanut and invented the pickled egg.”
2) “True Fact! Many famous celebrities have a strong vagina heritage. Two you may have heard of are Famous Hollywood Actors Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, who underwent extensive plastic surgery to be more “camera friendly”
“They would later go on to found Planet Hollywood, a famous vagina restaurant chain.”
Sean: “Filled with the world’s best vagina paraphernalia hanging on the walls.”
3) “After the women’s suffragist movement of the early 20th century, vaginas started coming in 31 different flavors. This was the inspiration for the Baskin Robbins chain of ice cream shops.”
Jen: “Early favorites: strawberry, pistachio, musk.”
Sean: hehe. “Early rejected flavors: saltwater taffy, avocado, tobacco”
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Sean
sean: the new trend seems to be viagra emails with random text from LOTR inserted at the end
jen: so eventually you’ll have the whole book
sean: “there are a lot more amazed vaginas in this story than i remember from the movie.”
jen: “Quaking in fear, Frodo beheld the horrible spider. From behind him he heard Sam’s faintly whimper: “Is your vagina as amazed as mine?””
sean: now that’s literature.
sean: “The Balrog fell from the bridge, tumbling into the fiery depths of the center of the earth. If only he could have lasted longer with his woman, he might have survived.”
jen: “Gandalf leaned triumphantly over the edge. “Now THAT’S how you amaze a vagina!” he said with proud satisfaction. Suddenly, the ground beneath his feet began to crumble, and then he too fell into the void. “No!” cried Frodo, while Gimli hung his head in his huge hands. “Truly, Gandalf’s vagina hubris was his undoing.”
sean: best girl rock band name of the day “Vagina Hubris”
jen: i rewrote the plot of that bit a little
sean: i barely noticed. the vagina was interwoven with the regular story quite well
jen: i work with a public action group whose mission is to insert more vagina into literature.
sean: i am intrigued by your organization and would like to subscribe to your newsletter
jen: it’s tricky, but we’re making inroads. you should see what we’ve done with children’s literature – The Berenstain Bears’ First Haircut was particulary successful.
Sean
(overheard on campus)
Woman 1: It was the cat’s meow!
Woman 2: I thought it was the cat’s pajamas.
Woman 1: The cat’s vagina?
Woman 2: Yeah, that’s totally it.
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