Chris: I should totally rent a midget! Max: You can’t “rent” a midget. Chris: Can I rent a dwarf? Max: You can’t rent people. Chris: I’ve been to Thailand, yes you can.
Author Archives: Max
Classy Reading
(While discussing Romance Novels) Sara- “I don’t like having to hold a book while I masturbate”
Ass March
::While walking single file up a path:: Max: Sara you dropped… Sara: Is there something wrong with my ass?! Max:…your cigarettes.
But they have Fries
:While Sitting in line at the drive-thru: “I hate that I want penis”- Sarah “They stopped serving that at ten”-Max
Crispy Death Treats
::While Discussing talking food the conversation turned to Snap Crackle and Pop:: “Its hard to eat a breakfast cereal when its in its death throes”
No one REALLY Needs Pants
While discussing employment options Rick–“I’ve given up on jobs where I have to wear pants”
Sandpaper Grip
While watching a friend play a videogame Yamo “This game is the rough equivalent of masturbating with sandpaper”
Poppycock
DEM0NH00D:new topic! LAM0NT: Fiddle faddle…any thoughts? DEM0NH00D: not as good as poppycock! LAM0NT: I’m not eating anything with the word cock in it DEM0NH00D: that’s not what i hear DEM0NH00D: :p LAM0NT: suck my poppy
Customer Confusion
While she was working at the KFC drivethru Tessa(my sister): Can I get you anything else this evening? Guy at Drivethru: Nope, and that’ll be to go please.
Family Grabbag
Quotes from my family. “Don’t trip over dead chickens”– (is that like ‘don’t cry over spilt milk’?) -As I was taking out the trash, my father came home and this was the first thing he said to me, its hard to explain why. “You big jew!” -My 11 year old sister suddenly yelled this as …