Christine: Well, I licked it once so I could reattach the hat.
Category Archives: post
Too Bad There are Only Ten of Them
Sarah: Mmm, this is the best my fingers have ever tasted.
That’s Not Racial Transcendence, Pt. 2
Jen: Hey, nobody’s talking about the Klan here. I just indicated that us white people had a meeting where we decided what kinds of actors we like. Torrell: That’s true, Mexicans do the same thing. Jen: La Raza! Torrell: No, we get our business done at quinceañeras.
That’s Not Racial Transcendence, Pt. 1
Jen: What are you watching? Torrell: Marine 2. Jen: Who’s in it? Torrell: I don’t know. You might recognize him, though. He looks like the kind of action-type actor that white people would like. (After careful consideration of the main character.) Jen: Nope, sorry. I don’t recognize that guy. He must not have been at …
Playing Doctor
(while looking at an April Fools day issue of a newspaper) Brian: Retirement home brothel. Ha. Christine, check out who wrote the article. {hands her the paper} Christine (reading): Anna Linjection? Who’s that?
This Game Is Rigged. And Meta.
Sean: Nice quote. Sadly, it caused the google ads on the page to become about interracial match making. Jen: I can think of something that will cause them to become even more so.
Perks of the Job
Steve: My new balls arrived today, the bright yellow ones are very tacky. Like, they stick to each other a lot. Jen: You tell me about your balls a lot. Steve: I’ve only told you about my balls twice, I think. At least in recent memory. Jen: Twice seems like a lot when it’s your …
Mutually Exclusive
(douchey guy talking loudly on his phone) Douche: Yeah, we have a great working environment. We do a ton of team-building exercises.
Turkey Island
Sean (said with a lilting lisp): “It’s a sandwich from Turkey Island. It’s a magical place where turkeys roam free and then turn into sandwiches.”
Huge Pinkies
Me: “Fuck! I just cmd-Q’d firefox on accident AGAIN!” Sean: “You should look into smaller fingers.” Me: “Are you saying I have fat pinkies!”
Haggling
(At the Santa Barbara Sunday art walk by the beach, a vaguely hispanic vendor who’s definitely not speaking Spanish sells palm tree seed necklaces for $25) Middle-Aged White Guy: Veinte. Vendor: What? No, it’s $25. Middle-Aged White Guy: Veinte. Vendor: *sigh* Ok, $20. Middle-Aged White Guy: Gracias *pause* Middle-Aged White Guy: Vaya con dios.