Tagged: food Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Sean 9:20 pm on May 16, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cannibalism, food   

    Sarah: Mmm, this is the best my fingers have ever tasted.

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  • Sean 2:24 pm on July 14, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food, shit   

    (while at a fancy dinner)

    Sarah: Oh my god! It just shit a banana!

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  • Sean 3:41 pm on June 22, 2007 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , food   

    (inside local restaurant – lunchtime)

    Christine (sniffing): Hey, it smells like bacon in here.
    Shasta (sniffing): Hmm, It does smell like bacon.
    *Shasta spots a uniformed police officer grabbing a soda a few feet away.*
    Christine: Yeah, totally smells like bacon.
    Shasta (quietly): Shhhhhh.
    Christine: What? Why?
    Shasta (quietly): Shhhhhh. I’ll explain in a minute.
    *The cop leaves*

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  • Sean 10:40 pm on November 24, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food, poker   

    (While playing Texas Hold-em poker)

    {Max turns over a 4 on the flop}
    Steve Y.: Damnit! That’s the meat in my pancakes.
    Everyone: You eat meat in your pancakes?

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  • Lopaka 3:06 pm on September 28, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food,   

    sean: two things I hate – Hitler and yogurt!

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  • Jen 2:21 pm on June 23, 2005 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , food, foxburger   

    Steve: I’m drowning in worcestershire sauce!
    Jen: Delicious death.
    Steve: Delicious like a foxburger!

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  • Sean 4:52 pm on March 29, 2004 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , food,   

    (at dinner on a cruise ship)

    Shasta: This kahlua cake doesn’t taste much like kahlua.
    Sean: I thought you said koala cake. That doesn’t seem tasty.
    Shasta: Aww. Poor koalas.
    Billy: Man, koalas will mess you up!

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  • Sean 3:17 pm on March 3, 2003 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , food   

    lamont: Taco Bell has no bell
    demonhood: mcdonalds is not irish
    demonhood: or scottish even
    lamont: Pizza Hut is run by humans not Hutts
    demonhood: there is no royalty at burger king
    lamont: Jack in the Box and Carl’s Junior are both utterly perverse names
    demonhood: wendy’s doesn’t even serve wendy burgers anymore
    lamont: And In and Out is no longer what “a hamburger is all about” They’re changing the name to “In and then snuggle a bit”
    demonhood: subway lives above ground
    lamont: Marie Calendar’s doesn’t know what month it is
    demonhood: sizzler boils everything
    lamont: Dairy Queen isn’t actually run by lactose intolerant gay men.
    demonhood: panda express food is comprised entirely of pandas that weren’t fast enough to get away
    lamont: Del Taco is not truly “Of the Taco”
    demonhood: olive garden salts the earth after they’ve gotten their produce
    lamont: Little Cesaer’s is all that remains of the Roman empire.
    demonhood: dominoes builds too closely to tall unstable neighboring establishments
    lamont: Don Jose isn’t really a Don
    demonhood: Red Robin’s carpet doesn’t match the drapes
    lamont: Black Angus is white.
    demonhood: outback steakhouse uses indoor plumbing
    lamont: Chili’s doesn’t use real baby backs.
    lamont: Long John Silvers wears boxers.
    demonhood: foster’s freeze serves warm food too
    lamont: White Castle is more of a fort.
    demonhood: the owner of Chevy’s prefers Fords
    lamont: Dunkin’ Donuts can only do layups
    demonhood: Krispy Kremes was actually started by a man named Krispy.

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  • Sean 11:51 pm on December 27, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food,   

    (while walking thru an outdoor shopping center)

    Popcorn Vendor (calling out): Free samples, if you’d like to taste!
    Tessa: Did he just say “Free samples, for Christ’s sake.” ?
    Max: I don’t think so.
    Sean:: But that’d be a unique way to sell popcorn. Invoking the name of Jesus Christ.

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  • Sean 10:46 am on December 18, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: farts, food   

    (while reaching for some brie at a holiday party, his arm precariously close to being burned)

    Alex: uh oh. I don’t think I should be cutting the cheese over these candles.

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  • Sean 10:06 pm on August 20, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food, sexual deviant   

    ean: you can’t plant every seed
    Piper: Oh, Dude…Now you tell me
    Piper: all that waisted seed
    Sean: and pumpkin/human hybrids……that’s a no go too
    Piper: you been fucking pumpkins?!
    Piper: –silence—
    Sean: the pumpkin lies!
    Sean: i never touched that pumpkin.

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  • Anonymous 6:16 pm on June 1, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , food   

    Tobin: Mmm, dick bread.

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  • Alex 10:36 pm on January 26, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food,   

    Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!

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  • Jen 9:31 pm on November 21, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food,   

    Alex: Teriyaki makes me messy.
    Sean: I thought everything made you messy.
    (and later…)
    Alex: If I would think for about two seconds, I might not be on the quotes page so often…quit giggling!

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  • Jen 11:36 am on October 5, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food   

    Alex: Do you like HANDY SNACKS? Perhaps you’re a fan… of big ass ham. Big ass ham!

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  • Alex 12:07 pm on June 18, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food, ,   

    Ado: Doo doo doo, Monkey Brains, Monkey Brains…. Never has anything looked so gross but tasted soooo good.

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  • Jen 7:49 pm on April 10, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food, messy   

    Sean (to Wes): Can you have one meal where you don’t have mayonnaise on your face?

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  • Lambert 11:40 pm on January 8, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food,   

    Christy:  “I really wish there was meat in donuts.  I really want a slab of meat and I don’t know why.”

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  • Sean 11:14 pm on June 26, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food   

    How did I get chocolate there?
    [smells pant leg] …..
    Is that chocolate?
    -Anonymous Office Staffer

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  • Christy 10:09 am on June 26, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food   

    Matt D. – How does this program flow?
    Debbie  – Like butter baby.

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  • Christy 7:15 pm on June 20, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food   

    “Coleslaw is God’s way of saying, hey, add some sugar to that cabbage.” -Lopaka

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  • Anonymous 2:34 pm on June 16, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: food, motivation,   

    SCs:  “We need motivation.”
    Andy:  (with his mouth full)  “Hey, I’m eatin’ here.”

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