Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone.
Sean: (pretending to call consultant)
Updates from Alex Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Alex
- “I’m outside your window!
- I know you’re there!
- Is that your girlfriend?
- SHE’S PRETTY!”
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Alex
Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home?
Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home. -
Alex
Jen: Oh shoot, I just go- duh- bu- ah- gu- … damn. I ran out of words.
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Alex
Randall: I go to Raging Waters every other friday to relieve myself
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Alex
Phil: It’s cool, unless you start staring at red lights all night long.
Sean: Cause that means you’re at a whorehouse! -
Alex
Lora: Could you date someone of below average attractiveness?
Ado: Look, either you’re attracted to someone, or you aren’t!
Billy: Wellllll, it depends on how much money they have. -
Alex
Response to one of Ado’s emails: Hi. This is the qmail-send program at as.ucsb.edu. I’m afraid I wasn’t able to deliver your message to the following addresses. This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.
Ado: I think my email just broke up with me.
-
Alex
Ado: Doo doo doo, Monkey Brains, Monkey Brains…. Never has anything looked so gross but tasted soooo good.
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Alex
(as the pager beeps)
Billy: Ah yes, and the party begins in my pants. -
Alex
Randall: Wait, how am I dead? Wait.
Spectators: She shot you!
(Christy begins firing and approaching Randall)
Randall: Wait.
Randall: WAIT!
Randall: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! (Turns and flees screaming like a little girl)
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