Sean (reading upsetting new additions to quotes page): Let’s see… a couple fucks, a few shits, and a silly ass in a pear tree.
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Alex
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Alex
Jen: !’m n0t g0ing to be d0wn there f0r g@$ping @nd n0 fucking!
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Alex
Jen: I was drinking coke – *gasp* – and then I was laughing – *gasp* – and then the coke was in my throat – *gasp* – and then the coke started going back up my throat – *gasp* – and then I had to lie on the ground and try to make it go back down my throat – *sigh* – and it burns…..
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Alex
Jen: but would I be a bad person?
Alex: no. you’ll have to do better than that.
Jen: um….I recently robbed and pillaged a nunnery, and after I turned the nuns out completely nude, and sold the nunnery to a chain of grocery stores.
Jen: “St. Albertsons”
Alex: that’s pretty good, but still far too funny.
Jen: f*ck! maybe I’m one of those demented madmen who make jokes at inappropriate times?
Jen: Why, just last week, I had Macguyver in a grain storage bin, and I made a joke, and distracted my evil henchmen, and he was able to make a rope of duct tape and climb to safety. -
Alex
Alex: You can’t play Russian Roulette with a cap gun, Sean.
Sean: SURE you can, you just go deaf. -
Alex
Sean: Hello, this is professor klumfudder. i would like to file a complaint about one of your student presentors for my class. i think his name was Tommy Square or something. the point is, he came into the presentation stinking ass drunk. he slurred his speech, and when one of my students asked what your open hours were, he proceeded to moon them and slap his ass, saying “Here’s yo open hours ya dirty bastard!”
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Alex
Sean: If I were immortal, I’d become the best skater in the world cause I wouldn’t spend time doing anything else.
Alex: Where would you get money to live?
Sean: Dude, I’d be immortal. You don’t see any poor immortals around, do you?!
Alex: I don’t…. immortals…. I…. -
Alex
Sean (on being a sappy person in a bad mood): And I’m pissed off… that there aren’t more butterflies in the world, damnit!
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Alex
Sean: … It’s like making webpages, ya know? It’s easy, but it takes a long time.
Jen, Alex, Phil: * mocking, non-understanding laughter *
Sean: *upset* But, KILLIN’! that’s quick… it’s just disposing of the body that takes time. -
Alex
Alex: I don’t want the frosting to get on the napkin.
Jen: I don’t care where it goes as long as it ends up in my mouth at some point. -
Alex
(this happens everyday, at 3 million words per second)
Andy: Hilloo-thisiz-indy
translation: Hello this is Andy -
Alex
Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!
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Alex
Christy: There’s nothing wrong with nipple.
Steve: Nope. In fact, there’s something quite RIGHT with it. -
Alex
“anonymous”: I’m gonna drop my boys on the scanner. hee heeeee!!
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Alex
Alex: I hear female voices
Wes: I like females!!!!
Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes* -
Alex
Sean: Don’t bite stumpy!
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Alex
Jen: whoa, those are masturbationarific!
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Alex
Jen: tell [Jen] that I said hello.
Alex: ok, Jen says hello… that was weird.
Jen: you’re telling us! -
Alex
Andy: A piece of ass is always sweet.
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Alex
Christy: I might go to the play by myself.
Sean: You can’t go to a play with yourself. I mean, what would the two of you talk about?
Christy: ummm, me. -
Alex
Alex: Hey Tobin, anything you need in the NMC?
Tobin: Hmmm…. not really, maybe a stripper and some beer, but I’d settle for someone to come in and use the damn lab and ask questions. -
Alex
Sean: secrets secrets…places and things. fun with yarn, fun with string.
Alex: *blank stare*
Sean: I made that up. -
Alex
Alex: When Sean types he moves his head and his mouth a lot.
Christy: That’s cause he’s a puppet. -
Alex
Christy: Look at this document I made today, isn’t it interesting?
Sean: Yes, if that was hanging in the air, I’d definitely pay attention to that, as opposed to the air. *smug smile* -
Alex
Alex: I’m not a smart man.
Jen: mmm, me neither. -
Alex
Christine: Our children will be like little monkeys. We’ll name them after ic staff. Ya know, like Seannifer. Or maybe Stevilly.
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Alex
Tobin: I thought I needed more paper but everything’s under control now. I went out into the courtyard and cut a tree down. False alarm.
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Alex
Sean: Where am I?
Jen and Alex: *blank stares*
Sean: Oh yeah, I’m in the office. -
Alex
Jen: Sean, if you don’t take that thing out of your mouth right now, I’m gonna shove the VACO key up your nose!
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Alex
Jen: It’s got a nice, whorish aftertone…
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