stevem: I could carve rock with my nipples right now.
Updates from Alex Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Alex
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Alex
tobin: you win some, you lose some, and some you just don’t tell people about.
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Alex
tobin: Columbia House is sending me “What Women Want”. The only thing I know about that movie is that “I don’t want it”.
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Alex
randall: hey lopaka, do you know who [female name] is?
lopaka: nope, i don’t think so.randall: oh… well, she used to be a man.
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Alex
Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work
*looks around blankly*
Tobin: … oops.
*goes about his business* -
Alex
billy: How many “s”es are in “Rodman”?
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Alex
alex: does anyone here claim to know eudora well?
steve hock: i could claim it, but then i’d be a liar as well as a eudora expert. -
Alex
*bored at work, singing garth brooks*
alex: “troubles I forgot ’em, I buried ’em in the sand. So bring me two pina coladas…”
*pause*
alex: line?
tobin: “heeeeey macarena!” -
Alex
alex: We need an office skateboard here like we had at IC.
tobin: Dude, this is the Institute for Theoretical Physics… we need an office hoverboard! -
Alex
bored at work, alex sings the mickey mouse club song hoping for backup from sean
alex: M I C…
sean: r o p h o n e?
alex: K E Y…
sean: m a s t e r?
alex: M O U S E!
sean: e r c i s e! -
Alex
while on a work-out kick
alex: I’m going to go get the weights out of the shed in back.
stevem: Why, is it getting too heavy? -
Alex
sean:… then a snail spoke to me in latin. then i wet myself. then the story ended. did the snail speak to you too
alex: he’s speaking to me right now. he says you were a good lay.
tobin: wow, he really puts the “go” in escargot! -
Alex
while playing super mario brothers 3
alex: a ba-bomb! *grabs ba-bomb*. let’s go, ba-bomb!
*alex dies holding a ba-bomb*
billy: you ba-blew it!
all: *painful groan*
billy: oooo ba-billy… -
Alex
sean: we’re good.
alex: TOO good.
sean: if we were any gooder, we’d have to beat the women off with a stick. and i don’t mean ‘that’ stick. -
Alex
alex: some like it hot but some sweat when the heat is on.
tobin: some like it cold but some shiver when their pants are gone. -
Alex
(on the movie “Art of War”
Jen: Half man, half vampire, Wesley Snipes is Vampire 57! -
Alex
sean: I’m not into exactities. or real words either
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Alex
alex: I just laughed at myself.
sean: Oh the glory of mirrors.
*pause*
alex: Mirrors? … jerk! -
Alex
Andy: So I got this time management book from my birthday, I haven’t had
time to read it yet….
ya know, I got it like two years ago… -
Alex
Colin: I’m going home, that fish keeps looking at me
Alex: I think he wants to fight you… my money’s on the fish, he’s mean.
Colin: That’s not fair, he’s not afraid of me -
Alex
*As he puts on a jacket from the lost & found*
Tobin: Next time someone loses a jacket, they should really lose a size smaller -
Alex
Lora: *Pointing at her own head* Do you ever get that “empty feeling” RIGHT HERE?
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Alex
Billy: Wanna know something disturbing? I called to check my credit card balance and the guy on the phone asked for my account number. When I gave it to him, he said “hee hee hee” and the line went dead.
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Alex
Sean: I guess Valentine’s Day brings out the desparation in all of us.
Alex: *blank stare*
Sean: *apologetic* NOT to say that you’re not an attractive man…. -
Alex
Sean tells Alex about a segment on Dateline NBC about a kid who was born a boy but raised a girl because his circumcision was botched.
Sean: [continued]…hehe, that was the title.
Alex: it was called “hehe”?
Alex: that’s cruel.
Sean: it was called “neener neener neener you don’t gotta weener” -
Alex
Sean: cuz gee willickers batman, we shouldn’t have to think hard before we have lunch and screw some groupies
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Alex
Randall: Digital Unix? It’s not american.
Alex: No, it’s digital. From digitania.
Wes: Huh, what are the people from there called?
Randall: *matter of fact* Digits!
Alex
Tobin: I just got that sudden urge to go play with my poop again.
Alex
Alex: You ever have an event in life the aftermath of which gives you the ability to relate to sappy sad 80’s songs?
Tobin: Yeah….
Tobin: I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.
Alex
Alex: … anyway, I used to think that girl was really cute when I watched that show.
Christy: Well I used to think that too, until I decided that I wasn’t a lesbian.
Alex: That must have been a hard choice to make.
Sean: Yes, but we all have to make that decision at some point in our lives.
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