Tagged: workplace Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Stephenh 4:10 pm on June 5, 2007 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , helmet, workplace   

    A woman at work: “I don’t wear a helmet to go to the bathroom.”

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  • Sean 1:24 pm on December 7, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: theft, workplace   

    {when asked what she was doing wandering the halls}

    Ellie: they were all on the phone. and i was bored. so i stole a giraffe.

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  • Jen 1:40 pm on April 11, 2006 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , workplace   

    Jen: I am the You of this campus right now.
    Sean: An enviable position to be sure.
    Jen: It’s okay, but I can’t get used to all this bending over.
    Sean: You get used to it eventually. I mean…hey!

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  • Sean 10:08 am on November 8, 2004 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: condoms, workplace   

    (the phone rings)
    Sean: Hello, this is Sean.
    Vanessa: Hi Sean. Um, do you have a key to the president’s office?
    Sean: Yeah, why?
    Vanessa: Can you come down here and unlock it? I have to put stickers on condoms.
    Sean: Uh, ok then.

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  • Alex 4:04 pm on August 23, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: retards, workplace   

    on her day at work:
    Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.

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  • Alex 2:59 pm on May 23, 2002 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: dumb, workplace   

    while discussing stupid coworkers
    alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there?
    jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system…    i am that dumb.

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  • Alex 1:30 pm on May 18, 2001 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: workplace   

    Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work

    *looks around blankly*
    Tobin: … oops.
    *goes about his business*

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  • Alex 10:36 pm on January 26, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , workplace   

    Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!

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  • Lambert 3:33 pm on January 12, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: experimentation, workplace   

    Naseem:  I’m the most action this lab has ever seen.

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  • Alex 11:39 am on January 10, 2000 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , workplace   

    Alex: I hear female voices
    Wes: I like females!!!!
    Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes*

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  • Alex 9:46 am on December 19, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , strippers, workplace   

    Alex: Hey Tobin, anything you need in the NMC?
    Tobin: Hmmm…. not really, maybe a stripper and some beer, but I’d settle for someone to come in and use the damn lab and ask questions.

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  • Alex 11:51 am on December 5, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , name combos, workplace   

    Christine: Our children will be like little monkeys. We’ll name them after ic staff. Ya know, like Seannifer. Or maybe Stevilly.

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  • Jen 7:32 pm on November 5, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , workplace   

    Sean: You know, when you get bored in the server room, there’s only two alternatives.
    Randall: What’s the other one?

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  • Jen 11:33 pm on November 1, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , workplace   

    Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.

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  • Alex 6:56 pm on October 23, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: creepy, workplace   

    Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone.
    Sean: (pretending to call consultant)

    “I’m outside your window!
    I know you’re there!
    Is that your girlfriend?
    SHE’S PRETTY!”
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  • Alex 10:58 pm on October 12, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: sad, workplace   

    Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home?
    Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home.

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  • Jen 10:52 pm on February 22, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: suck, workplace   

    Jennifer: So, you’ve spent an entire day trying to make something work, and it still sucks.
    Mike: That’s my job.

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  • Christy 8:17 am on January 16, 1999 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: workplace, wrestling   

    Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.

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  • Christy 2:45 pm on December 18, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: leader, workplace   

    Wes: Says who? I make the rules.

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  • Anonymous 8:25 pm on November 27, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: computers, workplace   

    Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.

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  • Christy 9:10 pm on June 24, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: workplace   

    Christy: Why don’t you become a consultant?
    Debbie:  I don’t know…I don’t really like to deal with people.
    Christy: Debbie, you’re a receptionist!

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  • Anonymous 2:34 pm on June 16, 1998 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , motivation, workplace   

    SCs:  “We need motivation.”
    Andy:  (with his mouth full)  “Hey, I’m eatin’ here.”

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