A woman at work: “I don’t wear a helmet to go to the bathroom.”
Tagged: workplace Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Stephenh
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Sean
{when asked what she was doing wandering the halls}
Ellie: they were all on the phone. and i was bored. so i stole a giraffe.
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Jen
Jen: I am the You of this campus right now.
Sean: An enviable position to be sure.
Jen: It’s okay, but I can’t get used to all this bending over.
Sean: You get used to it eventually. I mean…hey! -
Sean
(the phone rings)
Sean: Hello, this is Sean.
Vanessa: Hi Sean. Um, do you have a key to the president’s office?
Sean: Yeah, why?
Vanessa: Can you come down here and unlock it? I have to put stickers on condoms.
Sean: Uh, ok then. -
Alex
on her day at work:
Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards. -
Alex
while discussing stupid coworkers
alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there?
jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system… i am that dumb. -
Alex
Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work
*looks around blankly*
Tobin: … oops.
*goes about his business* -
Alex
Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!
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Lambert
Naseem: I’m the most action this lab has ever seen.
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Alex
Alex: I hear female voices
Wes: I like females!!!!
Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes* -
Alex
Alex: Hey Tobin, anything you need in the NMC?
Tobin: Hmmm…. not really, maybe a stripper and some beer, but I’d settle for someone to come in and use the damn lab and ask questions. -
Alex
Christine: Our children will be like little monkeys. We’ll name them after ic staff. Ya know, like Seannifer. Or maybe Stevilly.
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Jen
Sean: You know, when you get bored in the server room, there’s only two alternatives.
Randall: What’s the other one? -
Jen
Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.
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Alex
Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone.
Sean: (pretending to call consultant)- “I’m outside your window!
- I know you’re there!
- Is that your girlfriend?
- SHE’S PRETTY!”
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Alex
Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home?
Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home. -
Jen
Jennifer: So, you’ve spent an entire day trying to make something work, and it still sucks.
Mike: That’s my job. -
Christy
Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.
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Christy
Wes: Says who? I make the rules.
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Anonymous
Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.
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Christy
Christy: Why don’t you become a consultant?
Debbie: I don’t know…I don’t really like to deal with people.
Christy: Debbie, you’re a receptionist! -
Anonymous
SCs: “We need motivation.”
Andy: (with his mouth full) “Hey, I’m eatin’ here.”
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