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Tag Archives: workplace

Not Bathroom Prepared

A woman at work: “I don’t wear a helmet to go to the bathroom.”

Posted byStephenhJune 5, 2007January 28, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: bathroom, helmet, workplaceLeave a comment on Not Bathroom Prepared

Awesome Scavenger Hunt

{when asked what she was doing wandering the halls} Ellie: they were all on the phone. and i was bored. so i stole a giraffe.

Posted bySeanDecember 7, 2006Posted inUncategorizedTags: theft, workplaceLeave a comment on Awesome Scavenger Hunt

Taking it for the Team

Jen: I am the You of this campus right now. Sean: An enviable position to be sure. Jen: It’s okay, but I can’t get used to all this bending over. Sean: You get used to it eventually. I mean…hey!

Posted byJenApril 11, 2006February 4, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: innuendo, workplaceLeave a comment on Taking it for the Team

‘For Use on Penis’

(the phone rings) Sean: Hello, this is Sean. Vanessa: Hi Sean. Um, do you have a key to the president’s office? Sean: Yeah, why? Vanessa: Can you come down here and unlock it? I have to put stickers on condoms. Sean: Uh, ok then.

Posted bySeanNovember 8, 2004Posted inUncategorizedTags: condoms, workplaceLeave a comment on ‘For Use on Penis’

At Least you Frolick

on her day at work: Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.

Posted byAlexAugust 23, 2002February 3, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: retards, workplaceLeave a comment on At Least you Frolick

Surely Not That Dumb

while discussing stupid coworkers alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there? jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system…    i am …

Continue reading “Surely Not That Dumb”

Posted byAlexMay 23, 2002February 3, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: dumb, workplaceLeave a comment on Surely Not That Dumb

Work Smerk

Tobin, walking in two and a half hours late for work *looks around blankly* Tobin: … oops. *goes about his business*

Posted byAlexMay 18, 2001February 3, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: workplaceLeave a comment on Work Smerk

Tobin’s Digest

Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!

Posted byAlexJanuary 26, 2000February 5, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: food, workplaceLeave a comment on Tobin’s Digest

Lab Player

Naseem:  I’m the most action this lab has ever seen.

Posted byLambertJanuary 12, 2000January 30, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: experimentation, workplaceLeave a comment on Lab Player

Ooh, Hard to Get

Alex: I hear female voices Wes: I like females!!!! Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes*

Posted byAlexJanuary 10, 2000February 5, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: women, workplaceLeave a comment on Ooh, Hard to Get

Multimedia Strippers?

Alex: Hey Tobin, anything you need in the NMC? Tobin: Hmmm…. not really, maybe a stripper and some beer, but I’d settle for someone to come in and use the damn lab and ask questions.

Posted byAlexDecember 19, 1999Posted inUncategorizedTags: geek, strippers, workplaceLeave a comment on Multimedia Strippers?

They’ll Fling Poop

Christine: Our children will be like little monkeys. We’ll name them after ic staff. Ya know, like Seannifer. Or maybe Stevilly.

Posted byAlexDecember 5, 1999February 5, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: monkeys, name combos, workplaceLeave a comment on They’ll Fling Poop

Leaving?

Sean: You know, when you get bored in the server room, there’s only two alternatives. Randall: What’s the other one?

Posted byJenNovember 5, 1999February 5, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: server room, workplaceLeave a comment on Leaving?

Not Even Oral

Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.

Posted byJenNovember 1, 1999Posted inUncategorizedTags: server room, sex, workplaceLeave a comment on Not Even Oral

Boss Games

Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone. Sean: (pretending to call consultant) “I’m outside your window! I know you’re there! Is that your girlfriend? SHE’S PRETTY!”

Posted byAlexOctober 23, 1999February 5, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: creepy, workplaceLeave a comment on Boss Games

I Even Brought in Clothes

Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home? Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home.

Posted byAlexOctober 12, 1999Posted inUncategorizedTags: sad, workplaceLeave a comment on I Even Brought in Clothes

Suck All Around

Jennifer: So, you’ve spent an entire day trying to make something work, and it still sucks. Mike: That’s my job.

Posted byJenFebruary 22, 1999Posted inUncategorizedTags: suck, workplaceLeave a comment on Suck All Around

War Games

Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.

Posted byChristyJanuary 16, 1999January 30, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: workplace, wrestlingLeave a comment on War Games

Effective Leadership

Wes: Says who? I make the rules.

Posted byChristyDecember 18, 1998January 30, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: leader, workplaceLeave a comment on Effective Leadership

Computer Comfort

Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.

Posted byAnonymousNovember 27, 1998Posted inUncategorizedTags: computers, workplaceLeave a comment on Computer Comfort

What’s in a Title Though?

Christy: Why don’t you become a consultant? Debbie:  I don’t know…I don’t really like to deal with people. Christy: Debbie, you’re a receptionist!

Posted byChristyJune 24, 1998January 30, 2010Posted inUncategorizedTags: workplaceLeave a comment on What’s in a Title Though?

Motivate Us

SCs:  “We need motivation.” Andy:  (with his mouth full)  “Hey, I’m eatin’ here.”

Posted byAnonymousJune 16, 1998Posted inUncategorizedTags: food, motivation, workplaceLeave a comment on Motivate Us

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