Monthly Archives: October 1999

Usually With Mace

Jen: Don’t touch me. Sean: I get that a lot.

Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone. Sean: (pretending to call consultant) “I’m outside your window! I know you’re there! Is that your girlfriend? SHE’S PRETTY!”

Scary Beautiful

Alex: I’m such an attractive man, it frightens me.

Little Boys Room

Alex: I’m going to the little boys room. To do little boy things. Sean: What, like go play with Hot Wheels?

I Even Brought in Clothes

Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home? Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home.

Word Limit Reached

Jen: Oh shoot, I just go- duh- bu- ah- gu- … damn. I ran out of words.

Big Ass Ham

Alex: Do you like HANDY SNACKS? Perhaps you’re a fan… of big ass ham. Big ass ham!

Good First Impressions

Becca: (introducing Andy) This is Andy. He makes a great piece of ass.

Crank Caller

Randall (while calling to cover a shift): Uh…yes…can I speak to….hang on a sec…(tries to figure out which consultant he’s calling)…wait…(hangs up and bursts into hysterical laughter)