Billy: Damnit, I’m still waiting for a steak knife to cut this meat. Sean (jokingly reaching for his pocket): You can borrow my knife if you want. Billy: Ha, I just might at this point. Sean: On second thought, you don’t know where it’s been. Billy: Oh yeah? Sean: Yeah, you’d be cutting your food …
Tag Archives: violence
Evolution Personified
(Andy traps a small moth in a glass at dinner.) (20 minutes pass) Sean: (taps glass) I think it’s dead. You killed it Andy, how does that make you feel? Andy: Um…superior?
Bizarro Battle
discussing a bizarro group of friends, just like ours sean: we should fight them. alex: do you have any idea what that could do to the universe? sean: screw the universe, this is about reputation.
Koala
(at dinner on a cruise ship) Shasta: This kahlua cake doesn’t taste much like kahlua. Sean: I thought you said koala cake. That doesn’t seem tasty. Shasta: Aww. Poor koalas. Billy: Man, koalas will mess you up!
Equal Rights
Billy: What kind of a world is it when a man will get arrested for backhanding a woman, but a woman will not get arrested for flicking a man in the balls.
Easy and Long
Sean: … It’s like making webpages, ya know? It’s easy, but it takes a long time. Jen, Alex, Phil: * mocking, non-understanding laughter * Sean: *upset* But, KILLIN’! that’s quick… it’s just disposing of the body that takes time.
Best I Can Do
Sean: Oh, yeah, you’re my friend. Now I’ll kill you fast, instead of slow.
Tastes so Good Though
Jen: Sean, if you don’t take that thing out of your mouth right now, I’m gonna shove the VACO key up your nose!
It was All Consensual
Mika: It’s not like when my mom and dad had sex and my dad hacked off my mom’s arm. Steve: Goodnight!
We <3 Shin Kicks
Sean: We should have a contest here at the IC. Give prizes to the tallest and shortest consultants. David D.: What kind of prizes? Sean: We can buy the shortest person some elevator shoes. David D.: And kick the tallest person in the shins? Sean: Naturally.