Billy: Damnit, I’m still waiting for a steak knife to cut this meat.
Sean (jokingly reaching for his pocket): You can borrow my knife if you want.
Billy: Ha, I just might at this point.
Sean: On second thought, you don’t know where it’s been.
Billy: Oh yeah?
Sean: Yeah, you’d be cutting your food and then say “Hey, this tastes like homeless person!”
Tagged: violence Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Sean
Sean
(Andy traps a small moth in a glass at dinner.)
(20 minutes pass)
Sean: (taps glass) I think it’s dead. You killed it Andy, how does that make you feel?
Andy: Um…superior?
Alex
discussing a bizarro group of friends, just like ours
sean: we should fight them.
alex: do you have any idea what that could do to the universe?
sean: screw the universe, this is about reputation.
Sean
(at dinner on a cruise ship)
Shasta: This kahlua cake doesn’t taste much like kahlua.
Sean: I thought you said koala cake. That doesn’t seem tasty.
Shasta: Aww. Poor koalas.
Billy: Man, koalas will mess you up!
Lora
Billy: What kind of a world is it when a man will get arrested for backhanding a woman, but a woman will not get arrested for flicking a man in the balls.
Alex
Sean: … It’s like making webpages, ya know? It’s easy, but it takes a long time.
Jen, Alex, Phil: * mocking, non-understanding laughter *
Sean: *upset* But, KILLIN’! that’s quick… it’s just disposing of the body that takes time.
Jen
Sean: Oh, yeah, you’re my friend. Now I’ll kill you fast, instead of slow.
Alex
Jen: Sean, if you don’t take that thing out of your mouth right now, I’m gonna shove the VACO key up your nose!
Jen
Mika: It’s not like when my mom and dad had sex and my dad hacked off my mom’s arm.
Steve: Goodnight!
Sean
Sean: We should have a contest here at the IC. Give prizes to the tallest and shortest consultants.
David D.: What kind of prizes?
Sean: We can buy the shortest person some elevator shoes.
David D.: And kick the tallest person in the shins?
Sean: Naturally.
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