(while discussing Thanksgiving versus other holidays) Lee: Yeah, I’ve heard that Thanksgiving has the most babies consumed out of all the holidays. Sean, Tessa, Max: {blank stare} Lee: Conceived! Babies conceived! I don’t eat babies!
Monthly Archives: November 2004
No, You’re Wearing Mittens
(Lopaka, Shasta, Andy and Dorothy at a sushi restaurant, Shasta was the only person given a knife and fork) Shasta: Is this because I’m white?
43 is the New Pi
(Note: Stephen is 21 years old.) Stephen (answering a quiz question): Men in Black? Jen: Nope. You’re close. Stephen: Men in Black II. Jen: Right. Stephen: Sheesh. Who knew numbers were sooooo important? I didn’t. That’s why I’m 43 years old.
Cutting Humor
Billy: Damnit, I’m still waiting for a steak knife to cut this meat. Sean (jokingly reaching for his pocket): You can borrow my knife if you want. Billy: Ha, I just might at this point. Sean: On second thought, you don’t know where it’s been. Billy: Oh yeah? Sean: Yeah, you’d be cutting your food …
Wear Pants Around Flames
steve m: ouch. boner burn!
Foursome Too Much?
sean: as long as it ends in a threesome, i don’t care.
‘For Use on Penis’
(the phone rings) Sean: Hello, this is Sean. Vanessa: Hi Sean. Um, do you have a key to the president’s office? Sean: Yeah, why? Vanessa: Can you come down here and unlock it? I have to put stickers on condoms. Sean: Uh, ok then.
Warmongering H20
(standing in a group outside. a political operative approaches us, handing us free water with the label advertising for a local judicial candidate.) Shasta: Wait, I don’t know this guy. What if it’s evil poisoned republican water?