(students chatting about classes and tests)
Excitable Student: Oh man, I love multiple choice. I always pass those. Scantrons and all that. Multiple choice is my shit!
Tagged: college RSS
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Posted by: Sean
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(a college couple observes a bunch of male students playing soccer in the mud)
Boyfriend: Eww.
Girlfriend: They’re probably rich kids. They can afford to do laundry.
Boyfriend: Oh.Posted by: Sean -
(as a Gunther concert lets out and the crowd disperses)
Random Male Student: I’m not sure yet. He did ask me to taste his semen.
Posted by: Sean -
(overheard on campus)
Woman 1: It was the cat’s meow!
Woman 2: I thought it was the cat’s pajamas.
Woman 1: The cat’s vagina?
Woman 2: Yeah, that’s totally it.Posted by: Sean -
(the night continues…see previous quote)
Samantha (fairly intoxicated): I give good head.
(everyone starts laughing)
Samantha: I do.
Jermaine: What?! No you don’t. You give shitty head.
(laughter grows)
Samantha: Not on humans. Duh. Animals. They’re much easier. With their little weewees.
Joe (laughing uncontrollably): Stop stop! I can’t handle anymore. No more animal sex!Posted by: Sean -
(while walking in a group down the streets of the local college town)
Samantha (approaching random guy): Hey, how’re you doing?
Random Guy: Real good.
Samantha: What would it take to get you on all fours?
Random Guy: Um, a lot.
Samantha: That’s too bad. You’re not the goat I’m looking for. Bahhhhh! Bye.Posted by: Sean -
“You’re lucky, here at the university we have the foremost researcher on Genital Warts, Dr.Cox.”
- Completely serious ‘Human Sexuality’ professor.
Posted by: Sean -
“It doesn’t really matter to me, just as long as it’s tight on my ass.”
- some college girl in a laundromat, referring to god knows what
Posted by: Sean -
(from the little yellow sheet at Jen’s b’day.)
(in regards to Gabe’s much maligned major)
So, if a geography major gets lost, does he get kicked out of the major? -sean
No, they just give him a rock hammer and call it close enough. -anon
Posted by: Sean -
Sean: Hello, this is professor klumfudder. i would like to file a complaint about one of your student presentors for my class. i think his name was Tommy Square or something. the point is, he came into the presentation stinking ass drunk. he slurred his speech, and when one of my students asked what your open hours were, he proceeded to moon them and slap his ass, saying “Here’s yo open hours ya dirty bastard!”
Posted by: Alex -
Sean: When you can hear the ocean, that means you’re no longer connected to RBT.
Alex: It also means you’re drowning.
Sean: Which is less of a concern.Posted by: Jen -
(While enduring a long, silent wait on RBT.)
Jen: Should I hang up and call again?
Sean and Alex: NO!
Alex: That’s not even funny to joke about.Posted by: Jen -
USER: I am having problems with my email.
MIKA: What is your address?
USER: 6### Del Playa.Posted by: Anonymous
