Steve: I wore pajamas last night. I have Peanuts all over my bottom.
Monthly Archives: December 2005
Clerking
opening presents Dad: It plays DVDs and CDs. Tessa (reading box): It does 400…..dicks. Uh, I mean discs! Steve, Anna & Max (at once): In a row?!
Everyone is Puerto Rican
Mom: What’s the name of that movie…”Silent Runnings”? You know, that one with the Puerto Rican luge team. Jen: You mean the Jamaican bobsled team? Mom: No, it was a Puerto Rican luge. “Silent Runnings,” right? Steve: Cool Runnings. With the Jamaican bobsled team. Mom: Right, Cool Runnings.
Star Trek Nerds
While playing movie game: Sean: You’re on Brent Spiner Max: wait wait what?! Sean: You’re doing Data Bitch!!
Wiggle It
this man is sick, I don’t know him… alex: “you put your right toe bin, you put your right toe bout, you put your right toe bin, and you gently massage the anal cavity. you do the tobin toe-bin and you wiggle it about and hope that no poop comes out!” but damn, he’s funny
Temptation
[the out of context battle continues] jen: i snuck out of my bed last night and had some. jen: i was laying there thinking about how it was in the next room, so i finally gave up and got some, and then i wanted more. jen: wait, that sounded dirty.
Bourbon Tears
lopaka: Drinking makes me feel good. I should drink more often. (everyone laughs) sean: That’s why I drink every night. (everyone laughs) sean: No, really. (everyone stares at sean)
The Ron Silver Rule
[online debate. subject: Time Travel.] Jen: if watching Back to the Future taught me anything, it’s that your past and future selves cannot meet, or else you destroy the universe. Sean: i dunno. if i take Timecop as gospel (and why wouldn’t i?!), then they couldn’t fight because they’d cancel each other out and cease …
Context is King
[online conversation] Sean: if i have to listen to a sleeping man snoring while almost swallowing his own tongue, they can deal with a little rack action. Jen: i’m taking that out of context. Sean: i’m a lot filthier out of context.
Totally Innocent
[online conversation] Sean: i’d have a stupid smirk on my face the entire time. and there’s no way i’d be able to do it with either of you there. one bit of eye contact and i’d explode with laughter. Jen: i’m taking that out of context.
Cock Clock
sean: if it can’t tell time AND make your penis bigger, then what use is it?!!