Sean: Yes I write all my letters from the bottom up. It’s freakish. If you saw me writing on a chalkboard you’d laugh. Just like my physics class. But they learned. (throws Mr. Happy at the floor demonically)
Author Archives: Christy
Keyzer Soze
Wes: I didn’t really like it [The Usual Suspects]. Sean: It won best screenplay bitch.
It’s All Infected
(Referring to Wes’s chair) Christy: See, now you’re starting to sound like him … it’s the chair. Sean: I should disinfect this thing before I sit down. Christy: Ew. It’s got cooties.
Popcorn Ain’t Food
Christy: I should go home and eat. Jennifer: Eating’s overrated. (as she stuffs a large handful of buttery popcorn into her mouth)
It’s Messy
Christy and Sean on checking out CD’s to users Christy: Usually we take the driver’s license … First born child… Sean: Yeeeess. I’ve seen the baby bin.
True Love
Sean: I have my slinky. I don’t need you people.
Stretched Thin
Phil: Sean, do you want to answer some Mac questions? Sean: More than ever… Wes: Hey, he was answering some here!
With Labcoats
Christy: He was kind of like lab. We experimented frequently.
War Games
Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.
Effective Leadership
Wes: Says who? I make the rules.
Baby Face Jokes
Andy: How long have you skiied? Wes: Since I was 15. Sean: So for about a year and a half?
Screw Humor
Wes: Hey, hand me the Phillips. [screwdriver] Andy: Don’t call me Phil. You can call me Lips all you want.
The Only Lunchtime Odor
Mike: Smells like sandwich over here… maybe it’s my new cologne…Sandwich.
Advanced Dimensions
Kashyap: Okay all you geeks. I got someone out in the labs who wants to take a two dimensional object and make it 3-D. Is there an easy way to do that? Christy: Tell her to cross her eyes.
Security Killing
Sean: Do you think a moth would set off the sensors?… cuz I had to kill one the other night just to make sure.
More of a Fascist
Andy (to Christy): Why red? Why you like red so much…you a commie?
Eunuchs Gone Wild
Sean: Yup. Eunuchs are coming back in a big way. Mike: …Isn’t that what the new Mac OS is based on? Sean: You mean UNIX?
Stop. Slobbertime
Josh: Where’s the line drawn between attraction and sexual harrassment? Christy: When you drool on them. Mike: Yeah, now that’s love.
ADD Theater
Debbie: (playing with the dirty yucky slug) God, I almost want to eat this stuff…just to taste it….Has anyone TRIED to wash this? (then she proceeded to make it dance.)
So Many Choices
I like cheese that tastes like ass. -Debbie
Evil is so Subjective
I heard a rumor that you’re pure evil…is this true? -Sean
16 Shades of Naked
There ain’t nothin’ in the world like 16 color porn. -Sean
Pscyh!
I think women get into psych because they have some fundamental pathology they think they can solve themselves. (points at Christy) Case in point. -Matt D.
Is This the Matrix?
This is all in my head you realize. This isn’t real. -Andy
Lazy Going
That is the ultimate in not wanting to get out of your damn chair…Damn, you’re lazy. – Sean (to Christy)
Filthy Mice
Debbie: You know what they say about a dirty mouse? Christy: What, you have to wash it out with soap? Rob M. (to the mouse): You’re naughty.
Plus, Fake Noses
Me and Michael Jackson you know (indicates her blotchy colored arm) – and we both like little boys – Debbie Yip
People Watch Parades?
Ray – It’s the oldest carriage horse parade in the country. Christy – Gee. Ray – You do have to have cultural empathy.
So Smooth and Fatty
Matt D. – How does this program flow? Debbie – Like butter baby.
What’s in a Title Though?
Christy: Why don’t you become a consultant? Debbie: I don’t know…I don’t really like to deal with people. Christy: Debbie, you’re a receptionist!