Alex: When Sean types he moves his head and his mouth a lot.
Christy: That’s cause he’s a puppet.
Micks?
Sean: Pick-Up-Stix… Chicks-With-uhh that’s not a good rhyme.
It’s Shiny
Christy: Look at this document I made today, isn’t it interesting?
Sean: Yes, if that was hanging in the air, I’d definitely pay attention to that, as opposed to the air. *smug smile*
Big Heads
Alex: Josh stretched my sunglasses out when he put them on his big head.
Married With Scripts
(in threatening Austrian accents)
Alex: I love Webmonkey. They taught me how to do Javascript.
Sean: Why don’t you marry them?
Alex: Maybe I will.
Sean: Yes, and you’ll have orangutan children.
Common Bonds
Alex: I’m not a smart man.
Jen: mmm, me neither.
They’ll Fling Poop
Christine: Our children will be like little monkeys. We’ll name them after ic staff. Ya know, like Seannifer. Or maybe Stevilly.
Fresh Paper
Tobin: I thought I needed more paper but everything’s under control now. I went out into the courtyard and cut a tree down. False alarm.
Illiterate Rabbit
Randall: What’s with this “little bunny foo foo?”
Becca: You know. “Little bunny foo foo, hopping through the forest…”
Randall: Ohh. I wasn’t read to as a child.
Still in the Office
Sean: Where am I?
Jen and Alex: *blank stares*
Sean: Oh yeah, I’m in the office.
Mess Maker
Alex: Teriyaki makes me messy.
Sean: I thought everything made you messy.
(and later…)
Alex: If I would think for about two seconds, I might not be on the quotes page so often…quit giggling!
Tastes so Good Though
Jen: Sean, if you don’t take that thing out of your mouth right now, I’m gonna shove the VACO key up your nose!
He’s Special
Sean: You don’t just do things for no reason.
Chris and Jen: Wes does.
Leaving?
Sean: You know, when you get bored in the server room, there’s only two alternatives.
Randall: What’s the other one?
Dirty but Delicious
Jen: It’s got a nice, whorish aftertone…
Not Even Oral
Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.
Usually With Mace
Jen: Don’t touch me.
Sean: I get that a lot.
BANNER
Sean: Man Banner. BRUCE Banner!
Boss Games
Alex: I love calling the new consultants and having them be scared of me on the phone.
Sean: (pretending to call consultant)
Scary Beautiful
Alex: I’m such an attractive man, it frightens me.
Little Boys Room
Alex: I’m going to the little boys room. To do little boy things.
Sean: What, like go play with Hot Wheels?
I Even Brought in Clothes
Randall: (in the office, to Jennifer) Why don’t you go home?
Jennifer: (in meek voice) I AM home.
Word Limit Reached
Jen: Oh shoot, I just go- duh- bu- ah- gu- … damn. I ran out of words.
Big Ass Ham
Alex: Do you like HANDY SNACKS? Perhaps you’re a fan… of big ass ham. Big ass ham!
Good First Impressions
Becca: (introducing Andy) This is Andy. He makes a great piece of ass.
Crank Caller
Randall (while calling to cover a shift): Uh…yes…can I speak to….hang on a sec…(tries to figure out which consultant he’s calling)…wait…(hangs up and bursts into hysterical laughter)
P E N I L E
Sean (age 22): How do you spell “senile”?
Toilet Clogged
Randall: I go to Raging Waters every other friday to relieve myself
Good for Spider Dating
Alex: I’ve got spider radar, I’ve got spi-dar.
Falling Flat
Jen: I fall down… with alarming frequency.