Andy: So I got this time management book from my birthday, I haven’t had
time to read it yet….
ya know, I got it like two years ago…
I’ll Hump Your Leg Right Here!
Christine, rubbing the back of Wes’s head: He could have been a golden retriever in another life.
(and later)
Wes: Whaddya mean COULDA been?
Whoopa!
begin aim conversation:
ICnerd: blizzablam!
TycoonAlex: whaboom!
ICnerd: chachink! kablam!
TycoonAlex: fzzzpop whoopa!
ICnerd: pshhhhhiitt… kaboooom!
TycoonAlex: vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaa klazaam!
ICnerd: chuggachuggachugga whammo!
TycoonAlex: the chugga chugga stopped me. that one was too good
ICnerd: i was seriously cracking up.. hard to type.. that was a
good game.. same time, next week?
end aim conversation
Fin Fights
Colin: I’m going home, that fish keeps looking at me
Alex: I think he wants to fight you… my money’s on the fish, he’s mean.
Colin: That’s not fair, he’s not afraid of me
Lost & Yoink!
*As he puts on a jacket from the lost & found*
Tobin: Next time someone loses a jacket, they should really lose a size smaller
Echo…echo…echo
Lora: *Pointing at her own head* Do you ever get that “empty feeling” RIGHT HERE?
Humor thru Theft
Billy: Wanna know something disturbing? I called to check my credit card balance and the guy on the phone asked for my account number. When I gave it to him, he said “hee hee hee” and the line went dead.
Dressed Sharply
(Lopaka walks by in a suit-looking ready for Wall Street)
(Matt stops dead in his tracks-looking scared)
Matt: Oh shit. (waits) What are you doing?
Lopaka: Applying for your position.
This Rag Better Be Clean
(Andy walks in out of the rain.)
Andy: Can you toss me a rag?
(Jennifer tosses him a rag.)
Andy (wiping off his computer case): Oh, my poor baby…
Pinch His Aryan Cheeks
Christine: He was so cute…”You’re the cutest little Nazi I ever saw.”
(Regarding Edward Norton in American History X)
Desperate Times
Sean: I guess Valentine’s Day brings out the desparation in all of us.
Alex: *blank stare*
Sean: *apologetic* NOT to say that you’re not an attractive man….
That Many ‘Neeners’?
Sean tells Alex about a segment on Dateline NBC about a kid who was born a boy but raised a girl because his circumcision was botched.
Sean: [continued]…hehe, that was the title.
Alex: it was called “hehe”?
Alex: that’s cruel.
Sean: it was called “neener neener neener you don’t gotta weener”
Robin the Player
Sean: cuz gee willickers batman, we shouldn’t have to think hard before we have lunch and screw some groupies
They’re a Lovely People
Randall: Digital Unix? It’s not american.
Alex: No, it’s digital. From digitania.
Wes: Huh, what are the people from there called?
Randall: *matter of fact* Digits!
Unix Danger
Wes: Someone is going to send you an email.
Lopaka: Who?
Wes: What does this command do? (writing on whiteboard) grep –> quotes.html
Lopaka: Oh sh!t. He erased the quotes page!!!!
Wanna Shake my Hand?
Tobin: I just got that sudden urge to go play with my poop again.
It’s All in the Marketing
Tobin: Of all the things that are hard to sell, I don’t think sex is one of them
Jen: I’ve had some difficulty….
I’m Totally Listening
Alex: You ever have an event in life the aftermath of which gives you the ability to relate to sappy sad 80’s songs?
Tobin: Yeah….
Tobin: I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.
Lifestyle Choices
Alex: … anyway, I used to think that girl was really cute when I watched that show.
Christy: Well I used to think that too, until I decided that I wasn’t a lesbian.
Alex: That must have been a hard choice to make.
Sean: Yes, but we all have to make that decision at some point in our lives.
I’m on a Contract
overheard while walking to phelps
girl: no, sorry, i cant. i have to help my ex-boyfriend wax his chest.
And Speedy
Sean, while wearing black clothes, hockey skates and a ski mask: “This is what’s called my friendly look. I think it says ‘Hey, I’m approachable.'”
Multitasking Woes
Alex: I could be downloading some serious porn right now if it weren’t for all these damn AIM conversations.
That Ass Must Itch
Sean (reading upsetting new additions to quotes page): Let’s see… a couple fucks, a few shits, and a silly ass in a pear tree.
Hex Sex
Alex: “Dark khaki” sounds stupid.
Sean: It has a hex value: DDB76B.
Jen: DFB33B (flustered)…f#ck!
Sean: Sorry, you can’t code for “f#ck”.
Alex: Yeah, and I would make my background color “f#ck”. (Jennifer falls down on the floor dying of coke burns…see below.)
Sean: Yes, and it would induce orgasm on page loading.
I Was Promised Fucking!
Jen: !’m n0t g0ing to be d0wn there f0r g@$ping @nd n0 fucking!
Gasping
Jen: I was drinking coke – *gasp* – and then I was laughing – *gasp* – and then the coke was in my throat – *gasp* – and then the coke started going back up my throat – *gasp* – and then I had to lie on the ground and try to make it go back down my throat – *sigh* – and it burns…..
CSS Mistress
Alex: Do you care about me, Sean?
Sean: No one cares about your silly-a$$ style sheets.
Alex: There goes your ride home, sh!tface.
(And later…)Alex: Know what I like about Jen? Nothing.
All of It
Alex (while struggling with style sheets): F#cking sh!th@le!
F#cking Randall! It always works when he does it! I hate him with all of my hate!
Short Fuse
Sean: I fail to see what that has to do with anything.
Alex: Why don’t you shut the f#ck up?!? Ever think of THAT, jerkwad?
Nuns Had it Coming
Jen: but would I be a bad person?
Alex: no. you’ll have to do better than that.
Jen: um….I recently robbed and pillaged a nunnery, and after I turned the nuns out completely nude, and sold the nunnery to a chain of grocery stores.
Jen: “St. Albertsons”
Alex: that’s pretty good, but still far too funny.
Jen: f*ck! maybe I’m one of those demented madmen who make jokes at inappropriate times?
Jen: Why, just last week, I had Macguyver in a grain storage bin, and I made a joke, and distracted my evil henchmen, and he was able to make a rope of duct tape and climb to safety.