Quotes Page

Computer Comfort

Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.

Beasts

Anonymous: Oh yeah. It’s time to put the beast back in bestiality.

The Only Lunchtime Odor

Mike: Smells like sandwich over here… maybe it’s my new cologne…Sandwich.

Way Connected

Josh: I gots more Mafia connections than Don Knotts!

Pagemill Mafia

Christy: I hate to admit it, but I’m begining to like PageMill…
Mike: My God, they got you too!

Advanced Dimensions

Kashyap: Okay all you geeks. I got someone out in the labs who wants to take a two dimensional object and make it 3-D. Is there an easy way to do that?
Christy: Tell her to cross her eyes.

Nuts

Debbie: What do you think about Brazilian nuts?
Christy: I don’t know. I never had a Brazilian.

Drown It

“What’d you guys do with the MCL?” – A confused and deeply concerned user.

Not a Command

Sean: Christy, a wise man once told me you won’t find Utopia at the UNIX prompt.
Anonymous: Your wise men suck ass.

Security Killing

Sean: Do you think a moth would set off the sensors?… cuz I had to kill one the other night just to make sure.

Sean: We should have a contest here at the IC. Give prizes to the tallest and shortest consultants.
David D.: What kind of prizes?
Sean: We can buy the shortest person some elevator shoes.
David D.: And kick the tallest person in the shins?
Sean: Naturally.

Hip Yip

Ray: Debbie Yip, stop trying to be hip.

Ok Then

Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp,
Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp,
Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp,
Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp,
Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp,
—Christy

More of a Fascist

Andy (to Christy): Why red? Why you like red so much…you a commie?

Eunuchs Gone Wild

Sean: Yup. Eunuchs are coming back in a big way.
Mike: …Isn’t that what the new Mac OS is based on?
Sean: You mean UNIX?

Stop. Slobbertime

Josh: Where’s the line drawn between attraction and sexual harrassment?
Christy: When you drool on them.
Mike: Yeah, now that’s love.

One With Nature

HIKE QUOTES:

Kashyap: (lagging behind) If they clap when we get back I’m gonna kick their ass.

Christy: (tripping up the path) I can’t laugh and hike at the same time!
Mike: You need to learn to multitask.

Are you thristy yet?
-Alex’s sign, found by Christy of all people

No! Don’t go upstream!
-Everybody (minus one)

ADD Theater

Debbie: (playing with the dirty yucky slug) God, I almost want to eat this stuff…just to taste it….Has anyone TRIED to wash this? (then she proceeded to make it dance.)

So Many Choices

I like cheese that tastes like ass.
-Debbie

Evil is so Subjective

I heard a rumor that you’re pure evil…is this true?
-Sean

16 Shades of Naked

There ain’t nothin’ in the world like 16 color porn.
-Sean

Pscyh!

I think women get into psych because they have some fundamental pathology they think they can solve themselves. (points at Christy) Case in point.
-Matt D.

Is This the Matrix?

This is all in my head you realize. This isn’t real.
-Andy

Just Sometimes?

Sometimes I wish I wore diapers. — Christy

Lazy Going

That is the ultimate in not wanting to get out of your damn chair…Damn, you’re lazy. – Sean (to Christy)

Storytime is Over

(excerpt from the critically acclaimed short, “NeXT Storage: The Velvet Underbelly”)

Sean: You were sitting on the beach. Reading?
Christy: Well, yes. I was searching for the intellectual short beachgoer…
(time passes)
Christy: He was suckling the child to his womb.
Sean: So then he was kind to small children? Wait. That’s disgusting!

-Anonymous