Jen: Hey, nobody’s talking about the Klan here. I just indicated that us white people had a meeting where we decided what kinds of actors we like. Torrell: That’s true, Mexicans do the same thing. Jen: La Raza! Torrell: No, we get our business done at quinceañeras.
Tag Archives: movies
That’s Not Racial Transcendence, Pt. 1
Jen: What are you watching? Torrell: Marine 2. Jen: Who’s in it? Torrell: I don’t know. You might recognize him, though. He looks like the kind of action-type actor that white people would like. (After careful consideration of the main character.) Jen: Nope, sorry. I don’t recognize that guy. He must not have been at …
Alien 0: Rise of the Riser
(discussing the possibility of an Alien prequel) Jen: prequel? who could possibly be interested in that crap Jen: Alien 0: Gassing Up the Nostromo Alien 0: Some Random Aliens Crashed into a Planet Sean: Alien 0: Man, Tom Skerritt looks old Alien 0: Ripley Picks out a Cat at the Intergalactic Humane Society Jen: Alien …
Meet the McDickersons
Christine: So I was watching Kill Bill on TBS the other day, and they kept bleeping it when people said Uma Thurman’s character’s name. What was it? Brian: Cunty McDickerson. Christine: Oh. That is pretty bad. Makes sense they had to censor it.
Watching Puppets IS Combat
Steve: I got an email from Matt yesterday. He said that nobody in his unit had ever seen “The Dark Crystal”. Jen: I thought you were going to say “real combat”. Steve: That too.
New Challenger – Gremlins
Alien vs Predator Game hits a snag in the retelling Jen: I feel bad that gremlins got cut. maybe we SHOULD take out terminator. Wait – I know how to resolve this. Gremlins vs. Terminator! Sean: That’d take a shitload of gremlins. Jen: Fine, fine: A Shitload of Gremlins vs The Original Terminator! Sean: They’d …
Sequelmania
(while perusing an upcoming movie sequel site) jen: “Charlie’s Angels 3 is going to be a lot more like the TV series. And I am absolutely thrilled that my good friend John Travolta is going to have a cameo role!” jen: that screaming sound you hear is my brains exiting my skull at high velocity. …
Everyone is Puerto Rican
Mom: What’s the name of that movie…”Silent Runnings”? You know, that one with the Puerto Rican luge team. Jen: You mean the Jamaican bobsled team? Mom: No, it was a Puerto Rican luge. “Silent Runnings,” right? Steve: Cool Runnings. With the Jamaican bobsled team. Mom: Right, Cool Runnings.
The Ron Silver Rule
[online debate. subject: Time Travel.] Jen: if watching Back to the Future taught me anything, it’s that your past and future selves cannot meet, or else you destroy the universe. Sean: i dunno. if i take Timecop as gospel (and why wouldn’t i?!), then they couldn’t fight because they’d cancel each other out and cease …
43 is the New Pi
(Note: Stephen is 21 years old.) Stephen (answering a quiz question): Men in Black? Jen: Nope. You’re close. Stephen: Men in Black II. Jen: Right. Stephen: Sheesh. Who knew numbers were sooooo important? I didn’t. That’s why I’m 43 years old.
Princess Bride Redux
from another site: The Two Things about World Conquest: 1. Divide and Conquer. 2. Never invade Russia in the winter. from jen and sean: 3. “Never get in a land war in Asia” 4. Never challenge a Sicilian, when death is on the line. 5. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ….. ha! …
Seven Days
(most of us had recently seen the new movie ‘The Ring’) lopaka: …7 days… sean: cleaning a broom closet takes…7 days jen: dissolving a body in acid takes…7 days lopaka: 1 week is … 7 days jen: 7 hours at work feels like…7 days sean: the common cold can last…for 7 days jen: lopaka, what …
Always Bet on Blood
(on the movie “Art of War” Jen: Half man, half vampire, Wesley Snipes is Vampire 57!
Pinch His Aryan Cheeks
Christine: He was so cute…”You’re the cutest little Nazi I ever saw.” (Regarding Edward Norton in American History X)
Keyzer Soze
Wes: I didn’t really like it [The Usual Suspects]. Sean: It won best screenplay bitch.