Wes: Says who? I make the rules.
Yearly Archives: 1998
Baby Face Jokes
Andy: How long have you skiied? Wes: Since I was 15. Sean: So for about a year and a half?
Handy Stash
Josh: it would be nice if the other speaker worked Sean: it’s full of heroin Note: the speaker is actually not filled with heroin
Screw Humor
Wes: Hey, hand me the Phillips. [screwdriver] Andy: Don’t call me Phil. You can call me Lips all you want.
Computer Comfort
Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.
Beasts
Anonymous: Oh yeah. It’s time to put the beast back in bestiality.
The Only Lunchtime Odor
Mike: Smells like sandwich over here… maybe it’s my new cologne…Sandwich.
Way Connected
Josh: I gots more Mafia connections than Don Knotts!
Pagemill Mafia
Christy: I hate to admit it, but I’m begining to like PageMill… Mike: My God, they got you too!
Advanced Dimensions
Kashyap: Okay all you geeks. I got someone out in the labs who wants to take a two dimensional object and make it 3-D. Is there an easy way to do that? Christy: Tell her to cross her eyes.
Nuts
Debbie: What do you think about Brazilian nuts? Christy: I don’t know. I never had a Brazilian.
Drown It
“What’d you guys do with the MCL?” – A confused and deeply concerned user.
Not a Command
Sean: Christy, a wise man once told me you won’t find Utopia at the UNIX prompt. Anonymous: Your wise men suck ass.
Security Killing
Sean: Do you think a moth would set off the sensors?… cuz I had to kill one the other night just to make sure.
We <3 Shin Kicks
Sean: We should have a contest here at the IC. Give prizes to the tallest and shortest consultants. David D.: What kind of prizes? Sean: We can buy the shortest person some elevator shoes. David D.: And kick the tallest person in the shins? Sean: Naturally.
Hip Yip
Ray: Debbie Yip, stop trying to be hip.
Ok Then
Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, Gimp, …
More of a Fascist
Andy (to Christy): Why red? Why you like red so much…you a commie?
Eunuchs Gone Wild
Sean: Yup. Eunuchs are coming back in a big way. Mike: …Isn’t that what the new Mac OS is based on? Sean: You mean UNIX?
Stop. Slobbertime
Josh: Where’s the line drawn between attraction and sexual harrassment? Christy: When you drool on them. Mike: Yeah, now that’s love.
One With Nature
HIKE QUOTES: Kashyap: (lagging behind) If they clap when we get back I’m gonna kick their ass. Christy: (tripping up the path) I can’t laugh and hike at the same time! Mike: You need to learn to multitask. Are you thristy yet? -Alex’s sign, found by Christy of all people No! Don’t go upstream! -Everybody …
ADD Theater
Debbie: (playing with the dirty yucky slug) God, I almost want to eat this stuff…just to taste it….Has anyone TRIED to wash this? (then she proceeded to make it dance.)
So Many Choices
I like cheese that tastes like ass. -Debbie
Evil is so Subjective
I heard a rumor that you’re pure evil…is this true? -Sean
16 Shades of Naked
There ain’t nothin’ in the world like 16 color porn. -Sean
Pscyh!
I think women get into psych because they have some fundamental pathology they think they can solve themselves. (points at Christy) Case in point. -Matt D.
Is This the Matrix?
This is all in my head you realize. This isn’t real. -Andy
Just Sometimes?
Sometimes I wish I wore diapers. — Christy
Lazy Going
That is the ultimate in not wanting to get out of your damn chair…Damn, you’re lazy. – Sean (to Christy)
Storytime is Over
(excerpt from the critically acclaimed short, “NeXT Storage: The Velvet Underbelly”) Sean: You were sitting on the beach. Reading? Christy: Well, yes. I was searching for the intellectual short beachgoer… (time passes) Christy: He was suckling the child to his womb. Sean: So then he was kind to small children? Wait. That’s disgusting! -Anonymous