Yearly Archives: 2000

Lonely Salad

Justin: I hate it when they forget to toss my salad and I have to do it myself.

One Day I’ll Get To It

Andy: So I got this time management book from my birthday, I haven’t had time to read it yet…. ya know, I got it like two years ago…

I’ll Hump Your Leg Right Here!

Christine, rubbing the back of Wes’s head: He could have been a golden retriever in another life. (and later) Wes: Whaddya mean COULDA been?

begin aim conversation: ICnerd: blizzablam! TycoonAlex: whaboom! ICnerd: chachink! kablam! TycoonAlex: fzzzpop whoopa! ICnerd: pshhhhhiitt… kaboooom! TycoonAlex: vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaa klazaam! ICnerd: chuggachuggachugga whammo! TycoonAlex: the chugga chugga stopped me. that one was too good ICnerd: i was seriously cracking up.. hard to type.. that was a good game.. same time, next week? end aim conversation

Fin Fights

Colin: I’m going home, that fish keeps looking at me Alex: I think he wants to fight you… my money’s on the fish, he’s mean. Colin: That’s not fair, he’s not afraid of me

Lost & Yoink!

*As he puts on a jacket from the lost & found* Tobin: Next time someone loses a jacket, they should really lose a size smaller

Echo…echo…echo

Lora: *Pointing at her own head* Do you ever get that “empty feeling” RIGHT HERE?

Humor thru Theft

Billy: Wanna know something disturbing? I called to check my credit card balance and the guy on the phone asked for my account number. When I gave it to him, he said “hee hee hee” and the line went dead.

Dressed Sharply

(Lopaka walks by in a suit-looking ready for Wall Street) (Matt stops dead in his tracks-looking scared) Matt: Oh shit. (waits) What are you doing? Lopaka: Applying for your position.

This Rag Better Be Clean

(Andy walks in out of the rain.) Andy: Can you toss me a rag? (Jennifer tosses him a rag.) Andy (wiping off his computer case): Oh, my poor baby…

Pinch His Aryan Cheeks

Christine: He was so cute…”You’re the cutest little Nazi I ever saw.” (Regarding Edward Norton in American History X)

Desperate Times

Sean: I guess Valentine’s Day brings out the desparation in all of us. Alex: *blank stare* Sean: *apologetic* NOT to say that you’re not an attractive man….

That Many ‘Neeners’?

Sean tells Alex about a segment on Dateline NBC about a kid who was born a boy but raised a girl because his circumcision was botched. Sean: [continued]…hehe, that was the title. Alex: it was called “hehe”? Alex: that’s cruel. Sean: it was called “neener neener neener you don’t gotta weener”

Robin the Player

Sean: cuz gee willickers batman, we shouldn’t have to think hard before we have lunch and screw some groupies

They’re a Lovely People

Randall: Digital Unix? It’s not american. Alex: No, it’s digital. From digitania. Wes: Huh, what are the people from there called? Randall: *matter of fact* Digits!

Unix Danger

Wes: Someone is going to send you an email. Lopaka: Who? Wes: What does this command do? (writing on whiteboard) grep –> quotes.html Lopaka: Oh sh!t. He erased the quotes page!!!!

Wanna Shake my Hand?

Tobin: I just got that sudden urge to go play with my poop again.

It’s All in the Marketing

Tobin: Of all the things that are hard to sell, I don’t think sex is one of them Jen: I’ve had some difficulty….

I’m Totally Listening

Alex: You ever have an event in life the aftermath of which gives you the ability to relate to sappy sad 80’s songs? Tobin: Yeah…. Tobin: I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.

Lifestyle Choices

Alex: … anyway, I used to think that girl was really cute when I watched that show. Christy: Well I used to think that too, until I decided that I wasn’t a lesbian. Alex: That must have been a hard choice to make. Sean: Yes, but we all have to make that decision at some …

Continue reading “Lifestyle Choices”

I’m on a Contract

overheard while walking to phelps girl: no, sorry, i cant. i have to help my ex-boyfriend wax his chest.

And Speedy

Sean, while wearing black clothes, hockey skates and a ski mask: “This is what’s called my friendly look. I think it says ‘Hey, I’m approachable.’”

Multitasking Woes

Alex: I could be downloading some serious porn right now if it weren’t for all these damn AIM conversations.

That Ass Must Itch

Sean (reading upsetting new additions to quotes page): Let’s see… a couple fucks, a few shits, and a silly ass in a pear tree.

Hex Sex

Alex: “Dark khaki” sounds stupid. Sean: It has a hex value: DDB76B. Jen: DFB33B (flustered)…f#ck! Sean: Sorry, you can’t code for “f#ck”. Alex: Yeah, and I would make my background color “f#ck”. (Jennifer falls down on the floor dying of coke burns…see below.) Sean: Yes, and it would induce orgasm on page loading.