Sean: I fail to see what that has to do with anything.
Alex: Why don’t you shut the f#ck up?!? Ever think of THAT, jerkwad?
Updates from March, 2000 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Jen
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Alex
Jen: but would I be a bad person?
Alex: no. you’ll have to do better than that.
Jen: um….I recently robbed and pillaged a nunnery, and after I turned the nuns out completely nude, and sold the nunnery to a chain of grocery stores.
Jen: “St. Albertsons”
Alex: that’s pretty good, but still far too funny.
Jen: f*ck! maybe I’m one of those demented madmen who make jokes at inappropriate times?
Jen: Why, just last week, I had Macguyver in a grain storage bin, and I made a joke, and distracted my evil henchmen, and he was able to make a rope of duct tape and climb to safety. -
Alex
Alex: You can’t play Russian Roulette with a cap gun, Sean.
Sean: SURE you can, you just go deaf. -
Alex
Sean: Hello, this is professor klumfudder. i would like to file a complaint about one of your student presentors for my class. i think his name was Tommy Square or something. the point is, he came into the presentation stinking ass drunk. he slurred his speech, and when one of my students asked what your open hours were, he proceeded to moon them and slap his ass, saying “Here’s yo open hours ya dirty bastard!”
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Sean
Tod’s Fairwell Dinner – The little yellow sheet
(all of these comments were written over the course of Tod’s dinner by the various people in attendence. since none of them are labeled, they are completely anonymous)
- For a good time call 571-7557 (phil’s # during the summer)
- I am an alien taken this paper form. Right now I am having sex w/your hand and I know you like it because you are smiling. 🙂
- http://www.todsgoawaydinner.com
- Do NOT be afraid to love the avocado.
- you want a piece of me? i’ll kill ya! kill ya all!
- I miss Alex W. at this end of the table. His charming smile melts my brain.
- (commenting on above quote)
narcissist? - (commenting on above quote)
- I am wearing polka-dot panties.
- I’d smile if you’d touch me again.
- I’m trapped in a Turkish prison. Help! Send brownies.
- (commenting on above quote)
I’m trapped in a turkish toilet…splash splash!- (commenting on above quote)
I’m trapped in a Turkish whore. Bring the jaws-of-life. - (commenting on above quote)
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
- The people I work with are sick puppies. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
- suckers!
- “No matter where you go, there you are.”
- ok. here’s the deal. this is only a “work” function. get over it.
- I’m squishing your head. I’m squishing your head.
- Brandy is not a “shot taking” liquor.
- I’m melting because I’m made of cheese.
- press here.
- The glass isn’t half empty, it’s just designed twice as big as it needs to be.
- I am the outsider.
- Minni-me you complete me!
- ?
- none of this makes sense.
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Alex
Sean: If I were immortal, I’d become the best skater in the world cause I wouldn’t spend time doing anything else.
Alex: Where would you get money to live?
Sean: Dude, I’d be immortal. You don’t see any poor immortals around, do you?!
Alex: I don’t…. immortals…. I…. -
Alex
Sean (on being a sappy person in a bad mood): And I’m pissed off… that there aren’t more butterflies in the world, damnit!
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Alex
Sean: … It’s like making webpages, ya know? It’s easy, but it takes a long time.
Jen, Alex, Phil: * mocking, non-understanding laughter *
Sean: *upset* But, KILLIN’! that’s quick… it’s just disposing of the body that takes time. -
Alex
Alex: I don’t want the frosting to get on the napkin.
Jen: I don’t care where it goes as long as it ends up in my mouth at some point. -
Stevem
(after andy claimed he was responsible for the pearl harbor attack, coincidentally (sp?) on his birthday)
Wes: Andy, you weren’t even a twinkle in someone’s twinkle then! -
Alex
(this happens everyday, at 3 million words per second)
Andy: Hilloo-thisiz-indy
translation: Hello this is Andy -
Alex
Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!
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Alex
Christy: There’s nothing wrong with nipple.
Steve: Nope. In fact, there’s something quite RIGHT with it. -
Alex
“anonymous”: I’m gonna drop my boys on the scanner. hee heeeee!!
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Jen
(regarding simile)
Wes: I never had any hick relatives growing up, so I didn’t learn these things like Sean.
Sean: What, like English? -
Jen
Wes: This chick’s not the swiftest branch on the tree.
Sean: What does THAT mean?
Wes: Not the smoothest goblin on the church.
Not the spikiest mace in the dungeon.
Not the sharpest spike on your track shoes.(a short time later…)
Wes: Ok, maybe it doesn’t make a whole lotta sense when you read it, but the first time you hear it…..yeah…. -
Stevem
Christine: the cutest pokemon is called Scrotum
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Lambert
Naseem: I’m the most action this lab has ever seen.
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Jen
Sean: When you can hear the ocean, that means you’re no longer connected to RBT.
Alex: It also means you’re drowning.
Sean: Which is less of a concern. -
Jen
(While enduring a long, silent wait on RBT.)
Jen: Should I hang up and call again?
Sean and Alex: NO!
Alex: That’s not even funny to joke about. -
Jen
Sean: Oh, yeah, you’re my friend. Now I’ll kill you fast, instead of slow.
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Alex
Alex: I hear female voices
Wes: I like females!!!!
Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes* -
Alex
Sean: Don’t bite stumpy!
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Alex
Jen: whoa, those are masturbationarific!
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Phil
Wes: I can make thunder under my desk.
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Anonymous
Alex: Is it possible to fall in love with something you’ve worn on your feet?
Cause that’s what I’m feeling right now. -
Alex
Jen: tell [Jen] that I said hello.
Alex: ok, Jen says hello… that was weird.
Jen: you’re telling us!
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