discussing Britney Spears, the almighty tobin: “She’s so cold, she’s hot. She’s so hot, she’s cold. She’s so yin, she’s yang. And now to wax my wang.”
Yearly Archives: 2003
Boy & Dog
(jess talking with alex about housing possibilities in Hayward) jess: you might want to look at B street. alex: B as in boy? or D as in dog? jess: boy as in dog. alex: *laughs maniacally* jess (realizing error): *laughs* i mean B as in boy! sean (listening in, messaged to alex): my girlfriend doesn’t …
Sandpaper Grip
While watching a friend play a videogame Yamo “This game is the rough equivalent of masturbating with sandpaper”
Poppycock
DEM0NH00D:new topic! LAM0NT: Fiddle faddle…any thoughts? DEM0NH00D: not as good as poppycock! LAM0NT: I’m not eating anything with the word cock in it DEM0NH00D: that’s not what i hear DEM0NH00D: :p LAM0NT: suck my poppy
Beaver Diddies
tobin: I think I prefer “songs to which one ought to eat twat” for an album title, reserving “cunilingus ditty” for the hit single. Other songs include “greasy smile”, “it only smells like fish”, “I found the boat, where’s the man”, and the anthem sing-a-long “tasty pink taco”
A BIG Boat
*emulating her childhood self* Andria: When I have a boyfriend, I want to kiss him on a boat.
An Accurate Map
(Sean puts on a Mac OS X t-shirt that prominently displays a big blue X) Jess: Hey look, X marks the geek!
Self Cleaning
(while playing with a friend’s cats) Jess: The cats are licking their own crotches. I’m not sure whether to be grossed out or jealous.
Salty Movies
colin (the sailor): “Pirates of the Caribbean” has got to be the best movie since “Captain Ron”!
Bah, Nice
jen: if everybody had very nice lives, we’d all run out of reasons to drink.
Press X + Y Together
(while playing Metroid on the Gamecube) sean: …and this is the analyze mode. you can run around and analyze everything. andria: ooh, women are good at analyzing things. alex (chuckling): so where’s the over analyze button?
Scrambled Memories
tessa: “I heard this is a great movie” mom: “yeah, FOR EGGS!” tessa: “WHAT?”
Mostly the Soft Taffy
Alex: Jen always gets scared when I pull my candy out too soon.
Coffin Stereos
(online conversation via broadcast messages) Steve: anyone else hear those sirens on campus? Sean: some power transformer blow up again or something? Jen: if you all die, I get your stereos Steve: granted Alex: i’d like to be burried with my stereo playing ‘tell me something good’ Sean: much better choice than queen’s ‘another one …
Leave it to Clean Beaver
Billy J: I learn things from tv. I learned from Leave it to Beaver that every time you shave, your hair gets thicker when it grows back. Alex: So eventually it’ll be this huuuge {forms hands in ring the size of a tennis ball}. Jess: Did the beaver shave on that show? Billy J: Well… …
Pride Worthy
Steve Y.: It’s only blackmail if you’re not proud of it.
The Burger King of England
lamont: Taco Bell has no bell demonhood: mcdonalds is not irish demonhood: or scottish even lamont: Pizza Hut is run by humans not Hutts demonhood: there is no royalty at burger king lamont: Jack in the Box and Carl’s Junior are both utterly perverse names demonhood: wendy’s doesn’t even serve wendy burgers anymore lamont: And …
Sounds Delicious Too
eating chocolate, jen sneezes violently jen: ACHOO! whoa, I think I got chocolate in my nose… *looks around*… smells good in here.
Harry Wight
Alex (striking a karate pose to imitate the author on the cover of the book Dynamic Strength): I’m Harry Wong! *pause* Alex, thoughtfully: Oh my god, that guy’s name is Harry Wong!
Making the Ladies Laugh
alex: have you heard of those dildos that you strap onto your chin? jen: you mean the “Leno Dildo”?
Damn Dirty Hippies
Billy: That’s the creed of those damn dirty hippies: Fight the man. Fight the shower.