Narfa5 (2:46:57 PM): stupid physics lab Narfa5 (2:47:07 PM): it hates me and i hate it more JenRHock (2:57:05 PM): i hate you too. Narfa5 (2:57:38 PM): i think you and physics lab would get along well JenRHock (2:58:46 PM): we should have babies. Narfa5 (2:59:03 PM): mmm…little vectors Narfa5 (2:59:42 PM): you could throw …
Author Archives: Jen
Polka Rockin
Dawn, in AIM: “argh! all i want is freaking jungle love by steve miller band! is that too much to ask?” (and later…) “ooh, found steve meisner band: jammin! polkas.” (even later…) “oh yeah, this polka is jammin! “
K-Y Ad
(After a commercial for K-Y Jelly.) Jen: K-Y Jelly, for when you just don’t do it for her. Alex: But still want her to do it for you.
I’ll Hump Your Leg Right Here!
Christine, rubbing the back of Wes’s head: He could have been a golden retriever in another life. (and later) Wes: Whaddya mean COULDA been?
This Rag Better Be Clean
(Andy walks in out of the rain.) Andy: Can you toss me a rag? (Jennifer tosses him a rag.) Andy (wiping off his computer case): Oh, my poor baby…
Pinch His Aryan Cheeks
Christine: He was so cute…”You’re the cutest little Nazi I ever saw.” (Regarding Edward Norton in American History X)
Hex Sex
Alex: “Dark khaki” sounds stupid. Sean: It has a hex value: DDB76B. Jen: DFB33B (flustered)…f#ck! Sean: Sorry, you can’t code for “f#ck”. Alex: Yeah, and I would make my background color “f#ck”. (Jennifer falls down on the floor dying of coke burns…see below.) Sean: Yes, and it would induce orgasm on page loading.
CSS Mistress
Alex: Do you care about me, Sean? Sean: No one cares about your silly-a$$ style sheets. Alex: There goes your ride home, sh!tface. (And later…)Alex: Know what I like about Jen? Nothing.
All of It
Alex (while struggling with style sheets): F#cking sh!th@le! F#cking Randall! It always works when he does it! I hate him with all of my hate!
Short Fuse
Sean: I fail to see what that has to do with anything. Alex: Why don’t you shut the f#ck up?!? Ever think of THAT, jerkwad?
Hick Teachers?
(regarding simile) Wes: I never had any hick relatives growing up, so I didn’t learn these things like Sean. Sean: What, like English?
Swift Words
Wes: This chick’s not the swiftest branch on the tree. Sean: What does THAT mean? Wes: Not the smoothest goblin on the church. Not the spikiest mace in the dungeon. Not the sharpest spike on your track shoes. (a short time later…) Wes: Ok, maybe it doesn’t make a whole lotta sense when you read …
Pass Times
Sean: When you can hear the ocean, that means you’re no longer connected to RBT. Alex: It also means you’re drowning. Sean: Which is less of a concern.
Now, Dead Babies…
(While enduring a long, silent wait on RBT.) Jen: Should I hang up and call again? Sean and Alex: NO! Alex: That’s not even funny to joke about.
Best I Can Do
Sean: Oh, yeah, you’re my friend. Now I’ll kill you fast, instead of slow.
Numbers Can Be Sexy
Sean: Meet me in the alley. Wear something slinky. Jen: What do you think I DO there? Sean: Web stuff…well, econ people are repressed, aren’t they?
Big Heads
Alex: Josh stretched my sunglasses out when he put them on his big head.
Married With Scripts
(in threatening Austrian accents) Alex: I love Webmonkey. They taught me how to do Javascript. Sean: Why don’t you marry them? Alex: Maybe I will. Sean: Yes, and you’ll have orangutan children.
Mess Maker
Alex: Teriyaki makes me messy. Sean: I thought everything made you messy. (and later…) Alex: If I would think for about two seconds, I might not be on the quotes page so often…quit giggling!
He’s Special
Sean: You don’t just do things for no reason. Chris and Jen: Wes does.
Leaving?
Sean: You know, when you get bored in the server room, there’s only two alternatives. Randall: What’s the other one?
Not Even Oral
Sean: What were they thinking? There’s no sex in the server room.
Usually With Mace
Jen: Don’t touch me. Sean: I get that a lot.
BANNER
Sean: Man Banner. BRUCE Banner!
Big Ass Ham
Alex: Do you like HANDY SNACKS? Perhaps you’re a fan… of big ass ham. Big ass ham!
Crank Caller
Randall (while calling to cover a shift): Uh…yes…can I speak to….hang on a sec…(tries to figure out which consultant he’s calling)…wait…(hangs up and bursts into hysterical laughter)
P E N I L E
Sean (age 22): How do you spell “senile”?
Carnal Candy
Sean: I would never try to pressure you into opening up your Fun Dip. (Regarding the tasty tasty sugary snack pack, of course.)
Stroke School
Alex: I know how to stroke. Christy: Your mama taught you that. Alex: You taught me that! You sat me down and taught me how to stroke an image.
Mayo?
Sean (to Wes): Can you have one meal where you don’t have mayonnaise on your face?