Randall (while calling to cover a shift): Uh…yes…can I speak to….hang on a sec…(tries to figure out which consultant he’s calling)…wait…(hangs up and bursts into hysterical laughter)
Updates from October, 1999 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Jen
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Jen
Sean (age 22): How do you spell “senile”?
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Alex
Randall: I go to Raging Waters every other friday to relieve myself
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Charlyb
Alex: I’ve got spider radar, I’ve got spi-dar.
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Mika
Jen: I fall down… with alarming frequency.
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Sean
Jennifer: I wouldn’t force any leprechaun on anyone until they were drunk and passed out on the floor.
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Lora
Lora: You lose when you touch yourself.
Billy: Yeah, it’s not good to touch yourself. -
Stevem
AT Rock’n Bowl:
Steve: I dont want to win, ive already seen [6th sense], but i entered twice..
Billy: Yeah, well i entered three times, im gonna win!
<Over the loudspeaker>
The winner… Billy Barker!
–billy goes and gets prize–
<The next winner is… Billy Barker? … Cheater! Now you dont get the prize.>
Billy: Hey. Screw.
…later that night…
<Lets get another big winner… Billy Barker?? Whats with this guy?>
Steve: Thats a cryin’ damn shame. -
Phil
Alex: I’m impartial to dressing.
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Alex
Phil: It’s cool, unless you start staring at red lights all night long.
Sean: Cause that means you’re at a whorehouse! -
Phil
Jennifer: Kick him in the head. That’ll learn him.
(and later:)
Is nobody saying any self compromising comments this summer? Not even Sean? -
Phil
Alex: I’ve gone into kill mode again.
Phil: And how does that make you feel Alex?
Alex: Fantastic. -
Alex
Lora: Could you date someone of below average attractiveness?
Ado: Look, either you’re attracted to someone, or you aren’t!
Billy: Wellllll, it depends on how much money they have. -
Charlyb
Phil: I like the mascara.
Alex: It suits you.
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Phil
Sean: It’s always better to eat on a full stomach. (pause) Sh!t.
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Alex
Response to one of Ado’s emails: Hi. This is the qmail-send program at as.ucsb.edu. I’m afraid I wasn’t able to deliver your message to the following addresses. This is a permanent error; I’ve given up. Sorry it didn’t work out.
Ado: I think my email just broke up with me.
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Stevem
Billy: Phil, you missed it last night, Sean taught Alex how to spoon.
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Jen
Sean: I would never try to pressure you into opening up your Fun Dip.
(Regarding the tasty tasty sugary snack pack, of course.) -
Sean
Christine: (pulling on Billy’s keychain) Hey look….his pants are alive!
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Lambert
Christy: “I’m graduated. Like a cylinder.”
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Sean
Jennifer (to Wes about Christy): “Good thing you stopped her. She was about to feel special all over the office.”
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Alex
Ado: Doo doo doo, Monkey Brains, Monkey Brains…. Never has anything looked so gross but tasted soooo good.
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Stevem
Billy at Carrow’s: “Look everyone, i can make the snake grow.”
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Christy
Sean: Yes I write all my letters from the bottom up. It’s freakish. If you saw me writing on a chalkboard you’d laugh. Just like my physics class.
But they learned. (throws Mr. Happy at the floor demonically) -
Alex
(as the pager beeps)
Billy: Ah yes, and the party begins in my pants. -
Christy
Wes: I didn’t really like it [The Usual Suspects].
Sean: It won best screenplay bitch. -
Stevem
Phil: “The only reason I’m in ECE is because I had that robotic arm”
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Sean
Alex: “Hey, my butt’s kinda jiggley” {he glances at his rear}
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Christy
(Referring to Wes’s chair)
Christy: See, now you’re starting to sound like him … it’s the chair.
Sean: I should disinfect this thing before I sit down.
Christy: Ew. It’s got cooties.
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