Ray: Debbie Yip, stop trying to be hip.
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Ok Then
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More of a Fascist
Andy (to Christy): Why red? Why you like red so much…you a commie?
Eunuchs Gone Wild
Sean: Yup. Eunuchs are coming back in a big way. Mike: …Isn’t that what the new Mac OS is based on? Sean: You mean UNIX?
Stop. Slobbertime
Josh: Where’s the line drawn between attraction and sexual harrassment? Christy: When you drool on them. Mike: Yeah, now that’s love.
One With Nature
HIKE QUOTES: Kashyap: (lagging behind) If they clap when we get back I’m gonna kick their ass. Christy: (tripping up the path) I can’t laugh and hike at the same time! Mike: You need to learn to multitask. Are you thristy yet? -Alex’s sign, found by Christy of all people No! Don’t go upstream! -Everybody …
ADD Theater
Debbie: (playing with the dirty yucky slug) God, I almost want to eat this stuff…just to taste it….Has anyone TRIED to wash this? (then she proceeded to make it dance.)
So Many Choices
I like cheese that tastes like ass. -Debbie
Evil is so Subjective
I heard a rumor that you’re pure evil…is this true? -Sean
16 Shades of Naked
There ain’t nothin’ in the world like 16 color porn. -Sean
Pscyh!
I think women get into psych because they have some fundamental pathology they think they can solve themselves. (points at Christy) Case in point. -Matt D.
Is This the Matrix?
This is all in my head you realize. This isn’t real. -Andy
Just Sometimes?
Sometimes I wish I wore diapers. — Christy
Lazy Going
That is the ultimate in not wanting to get out of your damn chair…Damn, you’re lazy. – Sean (to Christy)
Storytime is Over
(excerpt from the critically acclaimed short, “NeXT Storage: The Velvet Underbelly”) Sean: You were sitting on the beach. Reading? Christy: Well, yes. I was searching for the intellectual short beachgoer… (time passes) Christy: He was suckling the child to his womb. Sean: So then he was kind to small children? Wait. That’s disgusting! -Anonymous
Filthy Mice
Debbie: You know what they say about a dirty mouse? Christy: What, you have to wash it out with soap? Rob M. (to the mouse): You’re naughty.
Plus, Fake Noses
Me and Michael Jackson you know (indicates her blotchy colored arm) – and we both like little boys – Debbie Yip
People Watch Parades?
Ray – It’s the oldest carriage horse parade in the country. Christy – Gee. Ray – You do have to have cultural empathy.
Not Chocolate
How did I get chocolate there? [smells pant leg] ….. Is that chocolate? -Anonymous Office Staffer
So Smooth and Fatty
Matt D. – How does this program flow? Debbie – Like butter baby.
What’s in a Title Though?
Christy: Why don’t you become a consultant? Debbie: I don’t know…I don’t really like to deal with people. Christy: Debbie, you’re a receptionist!
Service Lottery
That’s my new customer service technique: for every other call I hang up on them. – Tod
I Left My Email There
USER: I am having problems with my email. MIKA: What is your address? USER: 6### Del Playa.
Fresh Check
“Stop squeezing my fruit!” –Christy
SexEd Deficiency
“And I have no idea which hole to plug it into…” – Chris L.
Blocks FTW
I am the tetris fucking master. – Matt Dunham
Sweet Veggies
“Coleslaw is God’s way of saying, hey, add some sugar to that cabbage.” -Lopaka
Solved!
Email from user: From: *******@mcl.ucsb.edu To: lopaka@mcl.ucsb.edu Subject: Help How do I send an email?
Everyone
USER: Who is ‘Login’?
But They Can Shoot
“I have diplomatic immunity in Taiwan. If I ever go back, they can’t touch me.” – andy