Sean: I don’t think I’ve ever made baby Jesus cry. But I’ve tried. Oh, how I’ve tried.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Time to Switch Brands
Christy: Ew! There’s hair in my private time soda!
Distraction King
Wes: Hey, if you dangle a little shiny object in front of me, I’m there.
That’s a Relief
Sean: Christy, we can never get you one of those stress relief balls because you would break it and get stress juice all over the place.
Stretched Thin
Phil: Sean, do you want to answer some Mac questions? Sean: More than ever… Wes: Hey, he was answering some here!
Suck All Around
Jennifer: So, you’ve spent an entire day trying to make something work, and it still sucks. Mike: That’s my job.
I Pay Well
Josh: I’m my own bitch
It was All Consensual
Mika: It’s not like when my mom and dad had sex and my dad hacked off my mom’s arm. Steve: Goodnight!
With Labcoats
Christy: He was kind of like lab. We experimented frequently.
All About Boob
Christine- I recognize you by the shape of your chest.
Lots of Alphabet Left
Josh (to Naseem) – What are you up to right now? Naseem – (pause) Kash….. Phil – You’re up to Kash?? blink blink Sean – What does that mean? Mike – I don’t know.. but it sounds illegal…
Marathon ‘Mousing’
Mike: Sometimes on heavy mousing days, I switch hands to give my wrist a rest. (Sean only heard the last half of this sentence.)
Fun With Identity Theft
Debbie looking through access cards Debbie: I just need an Asian female.
Management Skills
Sean giving SC advice to Billy Sean: Let your consultants think you know everything. If there is something you don’t know, just say it’s broken.
War Games
Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.
Easily Distracted
Christy: “I’m doing you… pay attention to me!”
Meat Holes
Christy: “I really wish there was meat in donuts. I really want a slab of meat and I don’t know why.”
Effective Leadership
Wes: Says who? I make the rules.
Baby Face Jokes
Andy: How long have you skiied? Wes: Since I was 15. Sean: So for about a year and a half?
Handy Stash
Josh: it would be nice if the other speaker worked Sean: it’s full of heroin Note: the speaker is actually not filled with heroin
Screw Humor
Wes: Hey, hand me the Phillips. [screwdriver] Andy: Don’t call me Phil. You can call me Lips all you want.
Computer Comfort
Christy: i don’t believe in human contact. that’s why i work in a computer lab.
Beasts
Anonymous: Oh yeah. It’s time to put the beast back in bestiality.
The Only Lunchtime Odor
Mike: Smells like sandwich over here… maybe it’s my new cologne…Sandwich.
Way Connected
Josh: I gots more Mafia connections than Don Knotts!
Pagemill Mafia
Christy: I hate to admit it, but I’m begining to like PageMill… Mike: My God, they got you too!
Advanced Dimensions
Kashyap: Okay all you geeks. I got someone out in the labs who wants to take a two dimensional object and make it 3-D. Is there an easy way to do that? Christy: Tell her to cross her eyes.
Nuts
Debbie: What do you think about Brazilian nuts? Christy: I don’t know. I never had a Brazilian.
Drown It
“What’d you guys do with the MCL?” – A confused and deeply concerned user.
Not a Command
Sean: Christy, a wise man once told me you won’t find Utopia at the UNIX prompt. Anonymous: Your wise men suck ass.