Sean: I fail to see what that has to do with anything. Alex: Why don’t you shut the f#ck up?!? Ever think of THAT, jerkwad?
Yearly Archives: 2000
Nuns Had it Coming
Jen: but would I be a bad person? Alex: no. you’ll have to do better than that. Jen: um….I recently robbed and pillaged a nunnery, and after I turned the nuns out completely nude, and sold the nunnery to a chain of grocery stores. Jen: “St. Albertsons” Alex: that’s pretty good, but still far too …
Scottish Roulette
Alex: You can’t play Russian Roulette with a cap gun, Sean. Sean: SURE you can, you just go deaf.
Presentation Skillz
Sean: Hello, this is professor klumfudder. i would like to file a complaint about one of your student presentors for my class. i think his name was Tommy Square or something. the point is, he came into the presentation stinking ass drunk. he slurred his speech, and when one of my students asked what your …
Were We Drunk?
Tod’s Fairwell Dinner – The little yellow sheet (all of these comments were written over the course of Tod’s dinner by the various people in attendence. since none of them are labeled, they are completely anonymous) For a good time call 571-7557 (phil’s # during the summer) I am an alien taken this paper form. …
So Logical
Sean: If I were immortal, I’d become the best skater in the world cause I wouldn’t spend time doing anything else. Alex: Where would you get money to live? Sean: Dude, I’d be immortal. You don’t see any poor immortals around, do you?! Alex: I don’t…. immortals…. I….
So Pissed
Sean (on being a sappy person in a bad mood): And I’m pissed off… that there aren’t more butterflies in the world, damnit!
Easy and Long
Sean: … It’s like making webpages, ya know? It’s easy, but it takes a long time. Jen, Alex, Phil: * mocking, non-understanding laughter * Sean: *upset* But, KILLIN’! that’s quick… it’s just disposing of the body that takes time.
Messy Eaters
Alex: I don’t want the frosting to get on the napkin. Jen: I don’t care where it goes as long as it ends up in my mouth at some point.
That’s a lot of Twinkle
(after andy claimed he was responsible for the pearl harbor attack, coincidentally (sp?) on his birthday) Wes: Andy, you weren’t even a twinkle in someone’s twinkle then!
Saving Time
(this happens everyday, at 3 million words per second) Andy: Hilloo-thisiz-indy translation: Hello this is Andy
Tobin’s Digest
Tobin: This is Tobin’s stomach, if you don’t give him a break soon I’m going to start digesting him, and you’re next, tough guy!
And the Left Nipple?
Christy: There’s nothing wrong with nipple. Steve: Nope. In fact, there’s something quite RIGHT with it.
Then Press ‘Enlarge’
“anonymous”: I’m gonna drop my boys on the scanner. hee heeeee!!
Hick Teachers?
(regarding simile) Wes: I never had any hick relatives growing up, so I didn’t learn these things like Sean. Sean: What, like English?
Swift Words
Wes: This chick’s not the swiftest branch on the tree. Sean: What does THAT mean? Wes: Not the smoothest goblin on the church. Not the spikiest mace in the dungeon. Not the sharpest spike on your track shoes. (a short time later…) Wes: Ok, maybe it doesn’t make a whole lotta sense when you read …
Awesome Power Moves Too
Christine: the cutest pokemon is called Scrotum
Lab Player
Naseem: I’m the most action this lab has ever seen.
Pass Times
Sean: When you can hear the ocean, that means you’re no longer connected to RBT. Alex: It also means you’re drowning. Sean: Which is less of a concern.
Now, Dead Babies…
(While enduring a long, silent wait on RBT.) Jen: Should I hang up and call again? Sean and Alex: NO! Alex: That’s not even funny to joke about.
Best I Can Do
Sean: Oh, yeah, you’re my friend. Now I’ll kill you fast, instead of slow.
Ooh, Hard to Get
Alex: I hear female voices Wes: I like females!!!! Jen: *sheepishly turns away and leaves with fear in her eyes*
That’s My Job
Sean: Don’t bite stumpy!
Says So on the Box
Jen: whoa, those are masturbationarific!
Thunder Down Under
Wes: I can make thunder under my desk.
Shoe Fetish Beginnings
Alex: Is it possible to fall in love with something you’ve worn on your feet? Cause that’s what I’m feeling right now.
Split Greetings
Jen: tell [Jen] that I said hello. Alex: ok, Jen says hello… that was weird. Jen: you’re telling us!