jess: i’m enjoying this slurpee on a whole new level that slurpees shouldn’t be enjoyed on!
Category Archives: Uncategorized
At Least you Frolick
on her day at work: Jen: I frolick in a sea of bastard retards.
So, Hockey Then?
sean: yup. hockey is on alex: yea, hockey is where it’s at sean: hockey is da place alex: hockey in ya face sean: hockey – it’s a pants thing alex: hockey – not just for cows anymore sean: hockey – 4 out of 5 dentists agree, it’s greeeeaaat! alex: it would take 10 games of …
Laser Laser
alexatitp: laser tag bazooka? DEM0NH00D: hehe, that’s just nuts alexatitp: laser tag nerve gas alexatitp: laser tag demoralizing propoganda… DEM0NH00D: laser tag barbed wire DEM0NH00D: laser tag suicide pill alexatitp: laser tag wartime brothel DEM0NH00D: laser tag VD alexatitp: laser tag pine box / battleship sea burial kit DEM0NH00D: laser tag insignia wrapped over coffin …
Crazy Bout Nature
Driving downtown in the morning. Two leaves are stuck between the car hood and the windshield. They flap in the wind. Alex: See the little leaves. They dance in the breeze, like children. Jen: That was beautiful. Alex: I HATE THEM! I WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY AND DIE!
Verdana is Fish
(while discussing what font to use on ICQ) Jessica: verdana? looks like Arial. everything looks like Arial. Arial is like the chicken of fonts.
Private Parts, Second Class
Steve H. : Sgt. Dickerheimer just picked Matt up. Jen: Tell me that’s not really his name. Steve: Nah, its Hollinger or something. But I liked Dickenheimer better. Jen: It’s a good one.
Mustard Bandwidth
(around lunchtime, in two different locations) alex: man i’m so hungry sean: so hungry you’re hungy eh. i should make me a samich alex: then feed it to me sean: my cable modem does not support the food protocol alex: stupid cox. alex: i ate a pizza over dsl the other day alex: it was …
Restrain the One You Love
DEM0NH00D: pretty cheap averybridgette: whats cheap averybridgette: your prostitute? DEM0NH00D: yeah DEM0NH00D: she fell apart DEM0NH00D: i was disappointed DEM0NH00D: couldn’t even get my money back averybridgette: at least you have the sheep DEM0NH00D: i mean, that was bus fare averybridgette: and your handcuffs DEM0NH00D: the sheep will never leave me DEM0NH00D: because i have …
So Polite
sean: snatch, always a pleasure
Medical Hobbies
sean: you’re a very helpful man. hell, i was just talking to my doctor the other day, and i told him how helpful you were in removing my spleen with a spork, a dirty rock, and a pair of tongs. alex: you didn’t tell him my name, did you? sean: no, i sorta passed out. …
She Screams that Everywhere
(while in Chilis, talking to an off duty waiter named Gregg. Gregg, btw, is the one that sings Happy Birthday opera style.) Avery: Oh yeah, so you like the lakers? Gregg: Yeah. (sometime later) (lakers score a basket) Avery: Woooooh. Show us your tits! (Gregg shakes his head, looks around as if to say “this …
Helps Pass The Time
Paka: What?? I’m not drunk enough to drive!
MASSiVE
sean: oh yea, look at my massive 2 inches…
Geography Major
SMcGheek: nah. you see that thing about greenland? rehren: no, what is it? SMcGheek: slashdot.org rehren: iceland you mean? SMcGheek: ya SMcGheek: same thing 😉 rehren: it is? SMcGheek: no SMcGheek: joking
Our Lord’s Paper Towel
While discussing a Catholic mass Dawn had recently attended… Narfa5 (1:57:39 PM): and i probably would have really gone off when i drank the wine Narfa5 (1:57:47 PM): they were using the communal cup too Narfa5 (1:57:50 PM): which is icky JenRHock (1:58:01 PM): no, no no! they wipe it with the Napkin of Our …
Surely Not That Dumb
while discussing stupid coworkers alex: how’s work for you? are you getting dumber by being there? jen: i’m so dumb now, I could be a professor. i’m so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system… Â Â i am …
Really Fast Then?
feeding jen a useful car fact for future conversations alex:ok, try this: the new SVT Mustang Cobra does zero to sixty in 4.5 seconds and pulls .9 Gs on the skidpad. Those are impressive numbers for 35 thousand dollars…. now you say it. jen: the new VCM Cobra does zero to sixty in 42 seconds …
Gang Gagging
alexatitp (10:45:31 AM): lolly gaggling and tom foolery are sure paths to raddness ruination stealthjeffer (10:46:11 AM): i don’t know about you, but i wouldn’t mind gagging lolly.
Don’t Ask Questions
tobin: i found a cuban in my mom’s underwear drawer once.
They Love Bud Light
alex: dude, i was hitting that beer bong like a 4 year old!
He Has 3 Suggestions
lora: hey, is there any place we can put tobin’s huge package?!
Ugly All Around
(while watching a seinfeld outtake) alex: if i had to be an ugly old man, i’d want to be jerry stiller. tobin: if i had to be an ugly old man… i’d want to be your mom.
The Chin Misses Them So
echo conversation: tobin: I’ll go grab one. alex: grab something else for me, would ya? MY NUTS tobin: where’d you leave ’em? I couldn’t find ’em in their regular place…. MY CHIN
Whizz
(alex, while writing a paper for class) i feel a surge of genius coming or is that urine? whoops. it was urine
Beats Lectures
Deter7: hey steve, where’s your favorite place to have sex? Auto response from SMcGheek: in class.. Deter7: heheheh
Chewbacca’s Thang?
jen: shotgun, bang! what’s up with sean’s thang? alex: i wanna know? where does he sit? jen: wait up, hold up, mr. driver! like Chewbacca, he’s a sexy navigator!
Hand Over the Lunch Money
SMcGheek: randall is one big nerd: http://www.isber.ucsb.edu/~randall/l400/ SMcGheek: he got that computer today. JenRHock: randalls such a big nerd, even I wanna beat him up and take his lunch money. SMcGheek: well put SMcGheek: i might have to quote you on that JenRHock: thats fine. that nerd compiled his own custom kernel. JenRHock: he should …
Bada Boom
Lora: fake boobs just walked in the library. she is very perky. Alex: would fake boobs WALK into a place, or bounce into a place? Lora: strut i think. boom bada boom bada boom. (and sometime later…) Alex: fake dick just walked into work. followed by his friend, real asshole. Sean: are they into one …
Capitalism at its Best
while watching a commercial for a ridiculous, painted silver dollar – cost: significantly more than a dollar TV: And if you call now you can get this American Flag pin with a quarter molded in. Alex: *mockingly* hey, what did you pay for your quarter? Billy: *answering mockery* I got it free with my 40 …