Christy: I should go home and eat. Jennifer: Eating’s overrated. (as she stuffs a large handful of buttery popcorn into her mouth)
Yearly Archives: 1999
Dance For Me!
Randall: Wait, how am I dead? Wait. Spectators: She shot you! (Christy begins firing and approaching Randall) Randall: Wait. Randall: WAIT! Randall: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! (Turns and flees screaming like a little girl)
Stroke School
Alex: I know how to stroke. Christy: Your mama taught you that. Alex: You taught me that! You sat me down and taught me how to stroke an image.
But I Ain’t Free
Naseem: I don’t cost any money.
Smooth to the Touch
Mike: Josh is a hit with all the blind women.
Spatially Retarded
Christy (walking to her chair while talking): I’m brilliant! {THUD}-Christy slips, missing her chair by a half mile.
Mayo?
Sean (to Wes): Can you have one meal where you don’t have mayonnaise on your face?
Ass Button?
Josh: Sean, do you personify yourself through Mr. Happy? Sean: No…. Jennifer: Does that mean Sean has an ass button? (A few minutes later.) Sean:I don’t have an ass button. Mr. Happy doesn’t have an ass button. (Pauses for thoughtful ponderance.)
Pascal Prince?
Jennifer: He wants me to solve all his problems like I’m the Fortran Fairy or something…
It’s Messy
Christy and Sean on checking out CD’s to users Christy: Usually we take the driver’s license … First born child… Sean: Yeeeess. I’ve seen the baby bin.
True Love
Sean: I have my slinky. I don’t need you people.
No Tutu
Sean: Mr. Happy is a naked ballerina. [awkward pause] Sean: What? He is…
Marketable Skills
I was adjusting my package. {shakes her hips} I’m so good at it! Everyone should have a skill. -Christy
Forgotten Fourths?
Kash: You’re always last choice… Christine: …I’m not even sloppy seconds.
Jerk Jesus
Sean: I don’t think I’ve ever made baby Jesus cry. But I’ve tried. Oh, how I’ve tried.
Time to Switch Brands
Christy: Ew! There’s hair in my private time soda!
Distraction King
Wes: Hey, if you dangle a little shiny object in front of me, I’m there.
That’s a Relief
Sean: Christy, we can never get you one of those stress relief balls because you would break it and get stress juice all over the place.
Stretched Thin
Phil: Sean, do you want to answer some Mac questions? Sean: More than ever… Wes: Hey, he was answering some here!
Suck All Around
Jennifer: So, you’ve spent an entire day trying to make something work, and it still sucks. Mike: That’s my job.
I Pay Well
Josh: I’m my own bitch
It was All Consensual
Mika: It’s not like when my mom and dad had sex and my dad hacked off my mom’s arm. Steve: Goodnight!
With Labcoats
Christy: He was kind of like lab. We experimented frequently.
All About Boob
Christine- I recognize you by the shape of your chest.
Lots of Alphabet Left
Josh (to Naseem) – What are you up to right now? Naseem – (pause) Kash….. Phil – You’re up to Kash?? blink blink Sean – What does that mean? Mike – I don’t know.. but it sounds illegal…
Marathon ‘Mousing’
Mike: Sometimes on heavy mousing days, I switch hands to give my wrist a rest. (Sean only heard the last half of this sentence.)
Fun With Identity Theft
Debbie looking through access cards Debbie: I just need an Asian female.
Management Skills
Sean giving SC advice to Billy Sean: Let your consultants think you know everything. If there is something you don’t know, just say it’s broken.
War Games
Sean: (to Wess as he attacks Christy without provocation) Is this what they taught you in combat? Find the nearest girl and pick a fight? Then your self-esteem will be sky high and you’ll be ready to fight the Iraqis.
Easily Distracted
Christy: “I’m doing you… pay attention to me!”